Ever find yourself in an uncomfortable situation? Maybe it is being in a situation where you feel inferior, sorry for yourself or lack of some sort. If you are like me you may be tempted to catch the 'complain and blame' thought train with thoughts like - it's not fair! Where did I go wrong? Why me? This is terrible! How come they have what I want? Or why is this happening to me or my family? This is never helpful. The truth is, this situation has arisen and no amount of complaining, blaming or wishing it were otherwise is going to help. So we need to learn some helpful ways to accept and deal with such unwanted situations.
As we discussed previously we compare ourselves or the situations we find ourselves in to others in the e many roles we play. We may do this as parents, children, workers or in any other relationship. It is also never useful to blame or criticise others or ourselves as a result of such comparison. But, it is hard to stop, we are so habituated to think this way. Time to stop catching that 'complain and blame' thought train to Station Devastation and insert a new helpful thought pattern
Instead of comparing yourself or your situation to others and finding lack – do your best to be the best you can. We are all doing our best with what we know at the time. Maybe we didn't know that complaining, blaming and being ungrateful were destructive to our happiness.
I boldly made a Facebook post during the week where I attempted to go 24 hours without complaining, at least outwardly. It was so interesting to watch the complaining soundtrack in my head and I was so tempted on may occasions to give it a voice.
Interestingly, I woke on my 'complaining fast' day with a sore back. "Oh, no I thought - I said I was not going to complain today and now I have a sore back!" Now, I don't want you to misunderstand me here - not complaining does not mean I try to ignore or suppress my sore back or smell of burning martyr. My back did hurt, so I heard it, but decided to get on and do what I needed to do with care and consideration of my tender back. I watched my mind as I was tempted to find a possible cause to blame and someone to criticise (including myself). Maybe it was the way I lifted, the pilates instructor, or the weather! How useful is going on that blame and complain train? No use at all!
So instead I remembered I was not going to complain and when I was asked how I was, I said my back was reminding me to take things carefully today. Every time that thought or worry or complaint came up - I reassured it that I was being careful and was safe. I was able to do all I needed to do, maybe a little slower than usual, and with some rests and also, thankfully with some help from friends.
By accepting the situation with kindness and compassion for myself instead of
- pushing ti away or
- charging on regardless with martyrdom or
- blaming or criticising others or
- feeling sorry for myself with - Why me? and What have I don't wrong?
I was able to break past unhelpful habits and get on to do what I needed to do, which included taking some breaks.
When something unwanted happens, Instead of comparing yourself and finding yourself wanting, complaining, ungrateful and blaming, count your blessings and remember all that you have to be grateful for.
Maybe you would like to give the 24 hours 'Complaining Fast' a go - Do it and watch how you life starts changing for the better. I would love to hear how you go.
Need some help changing unhelpful habits and that negative critical soundtrack, to a more pleasant inner voice? I would love to work with you. You can get started now by -
Clicking on the image below to do the free 'Peace of Happiness' three day course