Accept What is, Let Go of What Was and Trust in What Will Be

Do you have a tendency to have a tricky time accepting what is, letting go of what was and having faith in what will be? I do at times. Thank you all for the opportunity to share a more helpful approach and remind myself of the importance of acceptance, letting go and having faith. Reminding is such an interesting word. For me it has the connotation of remembering a more helpful way to have my mind. A bit like rebranding! I find the most powerful way to remind or rebrand my mind is with compassion for myself and others.

So I thought it may be useful to share how I am doing my best to apply this acceptance, letting go and faith as two of my children are now overseas. Farewell is such a cool word too. For me fare well, and bon voyage too, certainly have an air of optimism and faith. 

Lets deal with them one at a time, so first off...

1.  Accept what is

Accepting what is can be really tricky, especially when it is not what we want! I have two children overseas and a part of me finds this difficult to accept, because somewhat illogically I feel they would be safer at home and also I will and do miss having them around, a lot!!  They are both on wonderful adventures and are out to experience all life has to teach them. No amount of protest or non-acceptance is going to change the fact that they are overseas. All the worry and fear about whether they are prepared enough, old enough, mature enough or traveling in safe countries is going to change anything except my peace of mind for the worse!! And also when we worry about others, it never helps them.

Accepting what is brings me into the present and prevents me from getting into that very unhelpful spot of fear and worry. 'It is like this now', what is my wisest response? And as we have discussed worry, fear, blame and criticism are never  wise responses. Worry about the future with possible scenarios of gloom and doom or going over the past with blame, criticism or worry is never any use and destroys our present peace of mind. Even though it may seem logical to spend time worrying about times that do no exist, the future that has not yet come and the past which is already gone, it never is. So why spoil the present, which is the only time we truly have with fear and worry? Acceptance of what is is the only logical response. So once we have accepted the situation what next? ...

2.  Let go of what was (and fear about what might be too)
So, what am I letting go of?

• Let go of my expectation that things should remain unchanging, or different from how they are. Letting go of somewhat crazy ideas like, 'my kids should remain home here with me'! As we know everything is constantly changing and when I hang onto things remaining the same or how I think they should be I suffer.
• Let go of past worry, criticism, blame, fear  and the illusion of control! Worry about things like 'last time they went away all these things went wrong'. A really helpful question I like to remember to ask myself is, 'Is this memory useful for me now'?' And if it is not then rewrite it to a helpful one like, 'they are well resourced and able to cope with whatever happens.'
• Letting go of worry about the future too. Watching my crazy mind as it goes to things like 'they will be robbed by dancing Romanian gypsies! And instead do the third helpful thing suggested here, to have faith in what will be - anticipate they will fare well rather than expecting them to fare unwell! What really helps me here is to watch my somewhat crazy mind and to replace those negative, fearful, critical thoughts about myself and others with positive encouraging ones. Accepting and Letting go allows them to have their wonderful adventures, and allows me to enjoy them too. Letting go helps me to ..

3.  Have Faith in What will be
The whole idea of anticipating things will go well instead of expecting them to go wrong promotes our peace of mind and reduces fear and worry. Having faith in what will be, even if it is not what we think is for the best is liberating. I can look back at seemingly unwanted events in my life, like having fertility issues, premature, critically ill babies, and not getting the jobs I wanted and understand now they contained a blessing in teaching me gratitude and what I needed to learn!

When we are able to turn, so called, problems into opportunities, although often not easy, we allow for them to become lessons and opportunities for gratitude. This is always best for our peace of mind. And that wonderful reminder from Wendy Lee 'that it will all be all right in the end, and if it not all right it is not the end'. Thank you Wendy.

When I woke this morning after farewelling my daughter and her friend to Romania last night and was tempted to go to that spot of worry and sad, instead I decided to practice this acceptance, letting go of fear and worry and having faith in them and the future. I sent her a message of of optimism, trust and faith in her and her awesome travel friend. Go well wonder women and Super Sam too. And everyone else as well. I am on the alert for those sad, fearful, critical and judgemental thoughts and doing my best to replace them with kind, fun, encouraging, compassionate and optimistic ones. Maybe you would like to join me! 

Have a great week. Thank you all once again for your continued support, friendship and generosity. 
Kind Regards and Best Wishes 
Maree xx ​