Letting Go is Liberating!

​​We are all attached to things, events, and people being a certain way - the way we think they should be, rather than the way they actually are! I have had some big lessons in letting go of attachment to things these past weeks. I have been thankful for some tools to work with and thankful to you for sharing them with me. Maybe they may be of help to you too.

Sometimes I forget that you can trace suffering or unhappiness back to an attachment.  When I remember this it is like a lightening bolt and a helpful reminder for me to let go. A reminder to let go of attaching to how I think or expect things, people or events should or should not be, when clearly they are not that way. As Shakespeare says "Expectation is the root of all heartache." 

So I had a 'letting go of attachment to things', opportunity when my computer died. It would not boot up!! I am very attached to my computer, a little portable Mac book air which has been my faithful and constant workmate for the past 7 years. It has a case that Jack made me from a rice bag for our first homemade Kris Kringle! And now it won't work! So here is my chance to let go of attachment to my computer working and practice radical acceptance!

This idea of radical acceptance can be misunderstood. As we explored in the 'Do'n't Give Up But Do Let Go' blog. 
Radical acceptance.....

• Does not mean we blame or criticise others or ourselves. I was tempted  to blame everyone and everything including Apple, my computer, myself and anyone else around! 

As the Dalai Lama says "when you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot."
And as Don Miguelo reminds us 'There is ahuge amout of freedom when you don't take things personally". 

• Does not mean we deny our feelings. It is certainly frustrating and disappointing to lose my computer. It is important to acknowledge these feelings, but then let them pass, rather than let them go on and on, ruining peace of mind.

As Eckhart Tolle says "the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but thoughts about it. Be aware of thoughts you are thinking. 

• Does not mean we give up, become complacent or apathetic. Once we have accepted the situation 'It is like this now - my computer is not turning on, we act, we do our best to respond wisely to 'It is like this now - dead computer'. What is my best course of action?

Again some wise words for Eckhart Tolle 
'Accept - then act. 
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it and not against it ."

Radical acceptance and letting go to how we want it to be can be really hard! Some of us are facing huge challenges so we need to exercise kindness and compassion for all. I am not intending to trivialise or be insensitive with my computer story, I hope it is a helpful 'letting go' example to share. Some things that really help me to practice this acceptance and letting go, especially in preparation for those big challenges include....
Starting Small

• Accepting the small day to day things that go wrong, like the train being late. If I can let go of blame and practice these 'It is like this now' acceptance and 'what is my best course of action?' steps with the small attachments I will be strengthening my 'letting go' muscles for the bigger attachments. 

Being kind to ourselves 

• As I said many of us may be facing huge challenges like sickness, loss of loved ones, harm and financial hardship. It can feel overwhelming at times so it may be best to start small and always with compassion and kindness to self and others. Blame, criticism, or pity never help. Pema Chodron says "Resistance to unwanted circumstances has the power to keep those circumstances alive and well for a very long time".

Letting go is a continual process.  

• 'It is like this now' is happening continually so we all get lots of practice in letting of of how we think it should and should not be. 

So having done my best not to blame or criticise others or myself and accept the fact that my computer won't work, I decide on the best course of action - to brave Chadstone! I finally found the Apple shop, after lots of 'It's like this now' opportunities with experiences of being lost and overwhelmed. At Apple I was told I had a vintage computer which was not repairable!!

What!! I am so tempted to blame, protest and demand it to be different from how it is. Instead, I remember - 'It is like this now' - what is my wisest response? 

I decided to put my faithful workmate to rest, feeling grateful for its' years of service and grateful also for not having  to go back to Chadstone to have it repaired. I feel liberated! I have got my even older dinosaur laptop up and working with the kind help of some talented and patient millennials.

I will tell you about letting go of our chickens and my Tara charm and some amazing wisdom on my mums fridge related to 'everything happens for a reason' next blog. It has a happy ending!
Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, 
Maree xx ​