​M23B Be Compassionate and Empathetic when other’s Suffer Part 2. 
It can be tricky sometimes not to be pleased when someone we know, particularly someone we find difficult or has harmed us has some misfortune. As humans we have all felt feelings of ill-will. This is totally normal and certainly not a reason to give ourselves a hard time. Remembering our 5 forces practice helps. Understanding that ill-will can cause these problems for us and get in the way of us expressing empathy and compassion allows us to become aware of how destructive ill-will can be and how to work skilfully to change our behaviour and develop empathy and compassion.

Let's take the example of feeling ill-will toward someone who has stolen from us, wanting them to come to some harm. When we are aware of the ill-will pop into our mind with its associated thoughts, we can do our best to accept and observe it (rather than trying to suppress it or let it run wild) take and breath and tune into our wise selves for a more helpful way to think. Wise, compassionate truths like, ‘I'm not sure what is happening in his life to drive him to steal, I hope he gets the support and help he needs.'

Now I understand this is a very high bar to reach and it takes some practice to turn that tendency for ill-will into compassion, but it is our own best interest to do so. I find it helps for starters to just wish I could feel compassion for them, when I am not able to. Thank you, Hilary for this reminder many years ago, it is a great rung up on the compassion ladder. 

Compassion and empathy are the antidotes for ill-will. it's about feeling empathy and compassion for, not taking perverted pleasure in the suffering of others. The karmic results of cultivating compassion and empathy are that we can feel trust in and friendliness and support from others. 

When it comes to understanding empathy and compassion Brene Brown offers us lots of helpful advice. She tells us ’Empathy is a strange and powerful thing. There is no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment emotionally connecting and communicating that incredibly healing message of 'You're not alone.'' This quote offers us a way to practice empathy, all we need to do is to listen without judgment and be there to connect and communicate that we are there with them. 

Compassion involves the ability to be able to stand in another shoes Pema Chodron reminds us that compassionate action has to start with ourselves. She says 'if we are willing to stand fully in our own shoes and never give up on ourselves, then we will be able to put ourselves in the shoes of others and never give up on them'. 

This ability to put ourselves in our own and other's shoes is necessary for compassion. If we are able to bring understanding of what it is like for others who harm, to really stand in their shoes, instead of judge them and wish them ill-will. We do not know what has gone on or is going on for them. And sadly, karma will play out for them, we do not need to be the judge, just the compassionate witness. This of course does not mean we do not stick up for ourselves and others to prevent harm. 

​M22B Be Compassionate and Empathetic when Other’s Suffer Part 1. 
We are up to the ninth precept or ninth guideline to help us live a good life. As, we said we have covered our three guidelines related to the body, the four related to our speech and now we are up to the second to the three related to our mind.  Again, Lama Marut puts this second one related to our mind very clearly.......... 

Don't be happy about other people's pain or problems / Be compassionate and empathetic

Last blog we looked at the first guideline related to the mind - Don't be envious of the people's lives / Rejoice in the little things that bring pleasure to others. So, this second one is like the opposite of the first. They both relate to ill-will, however are different in their expression of ill-will. 

As I always say and remind myself, I find the best way to use these guidelines is to remember to check in with my wise intuitive self before I act, speak or think. With respect to my thoughts, when I am aware of my internal dialog and thoughts, I can check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind or ignorant thoughts (like ill-will) with wise, true, positive, compassionate, kind encouraging ones. As I always say, this is a work in progress.

So now let's return to the second of our guidelines related to thought. 

Don't be happy about other people's pain or problems / Be compassionate and empathetic

This is all about when we........

• are happy when someone else has some misfortune 
• wish that others experience difficulties
• want our enemy to suffer and are happy about it 
• pleased when someone we are in competition with fails 
• amused by watching, listening to or reading about others' suffering
• taking interest in others misfortune, like gawking at car accidents

So, let's take some time to understand and be aware of why ill-will is not only an ignorant way to think but will bring us future problems. Remembering this wisdom means that when we are aware of ignorant ways of acting speaking and thinking we can then choose to tune in for some wisdom and act, speak and think from there. Wisdom like practicing compassion and empathy instead of ill-will. 

Lama Marut outlines clearly the karmic effects that come from ill-will. He tells us it develops a 'personality which is dominated by anger, sadistic tendencies or interestingly enough paranoia'. That doesn't sound a nice way to be or live! Because we have wished others harm, harm and a fear of harm comes to us. What comes around, goes around. We’ll talk more about this in part 2.