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Creating Kindness Even When it is Tricky!

3/15/2021

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My wise inner guide and I (my truly wise guide and my truly human self, together)  have been focusing on more KINDNESS and being aware of judgement!
 
I am continuing to practice checking in with my wise self or internal guide often to ask what simple or outrageous things I can do to create more of what my heart truly desires! - both for myself and others. So going into the heart and asking those questions again and again!

1.  What do I TRULY want to create? Peace, simplicity, freedom, joy, love and KINDNESS (my top pick this fortnight)

2.  What simple or outrageous thing can I do today (or in this or any moment) to create and express KINDNESS. 

Sadly I continue to experience the tricky person in my life behaving in hurtful and angry ways. Rather than being a victim of such behaviour I am finding it helpful to remember.......
  • This person is giving me opportunities to practice kindness and to set appropriate boundaries. 
  • To accept and work kindly with my own feelings and be kind to myself too.
  • It is often difficult to be kind to those who are behaving unkindlytoward us. It is also difficult to not take things personally! As I said last blog I find it useful to remember what Thich Nhat Hanh says 'When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help'. And our kindness too, which may include setting boundaries to protect both ourselves and them!
  • An anonymous quote I came across recently - You never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how happy someone looks, how loud their laugh or how big their smile, there can always be a level of indescribable hurt. Often things are far more complex and deep than what they appear. So, be kind, even when others are not. (able to be)!
  • As I said I often assume I know what is going on with others - this quick judgement is not helpful. As my friend Ali told me many years ago 'When we ASSUME - I make an ASS of U and ME'.  So...
  • Watch  out for judgment. I am sometimes very quick to judge myself and others - it seems to happen automatically like when I slap a label on someone just based on how they look. Rather than judge myself for this human tendency I am trying to remember that truism 'don't judge a book by it's cover' and keep my heart and mind open and curious! And have a laugh at my 'funny mind'!
  • Avoid judging myself when judgemental thoughts come up! Instead I am trying to work with kindness and curiosity to create more kindness. I often hear my wise self remind me - 'my funny mind, look what it's judging now, I have no need to judge myself or others!" 
Some simple and outrageous things I have been doing to BE KIND and to be aware of JUDGEMENT of both myself and others include....... 
  • Choosing to be kind in all sorts of small ways - compliments, deeds to help, texts, smiles, listening with a kind empathic ear. 
  • And as the quote above reminds us - do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return. Remember you can always thank yourself when thanks appears to have gone missing!
  • And choosing to be kind and compassionate in a strong way too.When someone is being hurtful sometimes the kindest thing we can say is - 'I am finding your behaviour hurtful and I need to leave now'. This boundary setting is an act of kindness for both them and yourself.My friend Lorraine talks about boundaries as being like 'a yellow raincoat' that we put on so that hurtful comments can't stick to us. This reminds me to stay kind and not take things so personally! 
  • Listening with an understanding, empathetic ear, (remember to include yourself too!)
  • Be the change I want to see - A positive, kind force in the world
And a repeat form last week -I am also remembering to include myself in this practice - allowing and accepting my feelings without judgment and tuning into that wise, kind, encouraging and loving voice - the wise self, for guidance. It has been telling me that
  • 'I am Loved, Appreciated and Worthy!' It's the truth and the LAW!  
  • We've got this! 
  • Choose to be kind each and every day, to everyone, including yourself too too!
Wishing you all much happiness, love and joy. Have fun creating what you truly desire 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​
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Sharing Birthday Joy and Creatively Expressing Love!

3/1/2021

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I am continuing to enjoy CREATING more peace, fun, simplicity and love in my life. Recently I had the joy in sharing the February birthday celebrations at the Womens' Development Shelter in Sri Lanka via a video call! Tenzin Lekdron in Bendigo, Tikiri and the women in Sri Lanka and myself and Ian by the side of the road en route to Dimboola!

You can see the girls together with their January and February Birthday cakes above (it is the same recipe my friend Vicky gave me over 30 years ago now - it is her Aunt Roz's recipe!) Tenzin Lekdron and I started this tradition at the shelter a few years ago now! Roz's chocolate cake is made by the 'birthday club cooks' and all that month's birthdays are celebrated. And this year I was so happy to be a part of the celebrations. I did not expect my phone to work as were between towns in the Wimmera, but magically it all worked. It was so wonderful to connect with these amazing women. My husband was keen to show them the Australian bush and a kangaroo.  When we could not find one, he did an excellent impersonation, much to everyone's amusement. The girls asked me to express my thanks to you all for your wonderful support of their education, training and counselling.

If you need any pressies remember our POM products shop here on the website. Please email us if you would like to order some and we will put them in the post. 
Apologies for a non-functioning POM email address of late and for not responding to emails sent here. It is working now :)


Let's continue to CREATE peace, love and joy in the world!
Take care of yourselves and others.
Much thanks and love to you all
 
Maree and Sue xx 
​

Creatively Expressing LOVE

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I am looking forward to more 'CREATING' fun, this fortnight. My wise inner guide and I (my indivisible truly wise and truly human selves) have been focusing on creating more JOY. We have had lots of fun in Dimboola kayaking, swimming, dancing the Nutbush at the pub, doing zoom yoga at the camp ground and taking a slow jog by the river!  How outrageous! I feel so GRATEFUL for my wise internal guide, myself, my amazing life and all those in it, including those I don't even know who make it possible. Thank you all!
 
Taking this CREATING approach to life requires me to check in with my wise self or internal guide often to ask what simple or outrageous things I can do to create more of what my heart truly desires! - both for myself and others. So going into the heart and asking those questions again and again!

In addition to creating JOY my focus this coming fortnight is on opening my heart and creatively expressing LOVE more freely. I have had the opportunity to do this with a tricky person in my life, who appears to me to be behaving in a hurtful and angry way!

Fortunately I know I have a choice regarding how I respond to this tricky person. I can choose to to react from fear creating more anger and hurt or I can choose to respond from love and create compassion, empathy, joy and courage. I need to remember to accept and work kindly with my own feelings of sadness and anger too!  When I can love and have compassion and empathy for both myself and my so called tricky person or enemy, they are no longer an enemy. As Lama Marut would say disappear your enemies by loving them.

It is sometimes difficult to open our hearts to respond with love when someone is behaving in a destructive way. Often others are in such a difficult spot themselves that they cannot access their own love for themselves and others and hence behave in these harmful ways. I find it useful to remember what Thich Nhat Hanh says 'When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help'. And our compassion and love!

So, I doing my best to love my tricky person. I am accepting the anger and sadness they are triggering in me and I am checking in with my wise self and doing simple and outrageous things to bring  love and compassion to us both. 

So, checking in with our wise selves to ask those 2 helpful questions....... 
 
1.  What do I TRULY want to create? Peace, simplicity, freedom, joy and LOVE (my top pick this fortnight)

2.  What simple or outrageous thing can I do today (or in this or any moment) to create and express LOVE? 

Another thing I find it helpful to remember is - to not taking their behaviour personally and not give myself a hard time or them either! And Instead tell myself  'I have done nothing wrong, and I am loved' (& they have not done anything wrong either - they are suffering and it is spilling over!).

So often I make other's behaviour about me, when most often it has got nothing to do with me. I was reminded of this as I said 'good morning' to someone this morning and was met with an eye roll. Who knows what their  behaviour is about? (maybe more suffering spilling over). Our quote last week reminds me to keep living, loving, being truthful and fair (and smiling and saying good morning) despite what is happening around me!

Not every day is a good day
Live anyway 
Not all you love will (or can) love you back
Love anyway

Not everyone will tell you the truth 
Be honest anyway
Not all deals are fair
Play fair anyway 

Anon

It is a very powerful practice. Some simple and outrageous things I have been doing to LOVE ANYWAY include....... 
  • Verbally or textually expressing my love and thanks 
  • Doing Tong Len (sending them love with my mind) Sometimes my verbal expression of love appears to distress this particular loved one, so I am doing more subtle mind practices like Tong Len and sending them love, compassion and joy with my mind 
  • Listening with an understanding, empathetic ear 
  • Sending small gifts, like a pot plant, favourite foods etc.
  • GRATITUDE - expressing it often! LOTS of THANK YOU's
  • Taking them on drives and outings 
  • Sending them postcards and letters! 
  • Give compliments 
  • Be the change I want to see - A positive, kind force in the world
I am also remembering to include myself in this practice - allowing and accepting my feelings without judgment and tuning into that wise kind, encouraging and loving voice - the wise self for guidance. It has been telling me that 'I am Loved, Appreciated and Worthy!' It's the truth and the LAW!

Wishing you all much happiness, love and joy. Have fun creating what you truly desire 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​
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Creating Joy

3/1/2021

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As I said, I am continuing to focus on what I TRULY want to CREATE in my life rather than what I want to push away or resist.
I have fun continuing to question my wise inner guide what I TRULY want and have been focusing on creating more JOY this last fortnight.
 
I was reminded of this 'creating what I want', rather than focusing on 'what I don't want' recently.  I remembered that if you want to instruct young kids, especially in potentially dangerous situations, it is best to focus on what you want them to do rather than what you don't want them to do. Direct, short and clear instructions work best. Instructions like 'come here' rather than 'don't run away'!

I leant that the same applies when teaching English language students. Instructions like 'pens down', 'look here' rather than 'sorry, would you please stop talking, it is time to finish up, etc. Too many words and way too confusing! And not creating what we want to best help the students learn. Thanks to this wise advice I had the opportunity to 'save someone's life' this week. A woman was crossing the road just in front of me. She was not looking where she was going and was about to step in the path of an oncoming car! One loud, clear STOP bought her safely to a halt. 

So, I have been taking this CREATING JOY approach to life. I have been checking in with my wise self or internal guide often to ask what simple or outrageous things I can do to create more JOY - both for myself and others. So those questions again and again!
 
1.  What do I TRULY want to create? Peace, simplicity, freedom, love and JOY (my top pick this fortnight)

2.  What simple or outrageous thing can I do today (or in this or any moment) to create JOY? 

It has been a fun practice. Some simple and outrageous things I have been having fun doing, especially now on my 'at home holiday' include........
  • Plodding around Central Park, Malvern and including a 'skip' and a 'swing'!
  • Listening to funny podcasts! And having a great laugh! Thanks Leanne and Regan
  • Smiling and saying 'good morning' to all I pass on my plod and walk!
  • Practicing my paddling technique with Ian. We are awaiting our birthday double kayak so to get ready we have u-tubed how to kayak and are practicing on kitchen chairs in the back room!
  • Baking POM products, weaving and gardening while listening to Tina Turner loudly!
  • GRATITUDE - expressing it often LOTS of THANK YOU's
  • Giving compliments - 'I love your hair, what's happening there?' My favourite fun quote from the movie 'Marie Antoinette'!
An anonymous quote that is assisting me to keep creating joy  despite what is happening around me is......

Not ever day is a good day
Live anyway
Not all you love will (or can) love you back
Love anyway
Not everyone will tell you the truth 
Be honest anyway
Not all deals are fair
Play fair anyway 

Anon

Wishing you all much happiness and joy. Have fun creating what you truly desire 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx

Please email me maree@pom-melbourne.com to order or to
  • Buy POM products in support of community projects including the WDC (Women's Development Centre) Haragama Women's Shelter, Don Bosco Rehabilitation Centre in Sri Lanka, Sunrise Cambodia, Guansahar school in Nepa and Backtrack in Armidale NSW)l. If you would like to read more about the specifics of our support there - please read more at  POM community connections here 
  • Come to Crafternoon
             - 4th Sunday of the month 2-4pm 
              - Wednesday 2-4pm 
  • Please give me a text or email if you would like to come to confirm it is on! ​
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    Maree Fowler

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