Ever feel low in confidence or sad? I have been reminded lately of unhelpful habits that erode my sense of self-esteem and make me feel down. Destructive habits like......
I remind myself that ....
My daughter Alice, recently did an assignment in her architecture course which interestingly reminds me to be mindful of criticism of others, self criticism and setting unrealistic expectations. As I remember it, she had lecturer in this design subject who had an interest in yoga. The assignment involved designing a space which facilitated feelings of peace and connection. Her lecturer related the assignment to yoga by setting up the room with different areas related to the chakras or energy centres. Each area represented a different energy centre with its corresponding symbol and colour. The students were asked to go and stand where they were attracted to. Most of the students were somewhat perplexed by the lecturers approach, although Alice recalled some exposure to such things by her somewhat wacky mother. Alice was drawn to the heart chakra, with the energy of love, connection and the truth of interdependence. She rang me asking for some help. Wow I never thought my yoga knowledge would come in useful in a design subject! The first part of the assignment involved making a collage to represent some of the obstacles to experiencing the energy at the heart chakra, the energy of love and connection. Her collage is shown above. When I discussed the collage with Alice, she explained to me the pointing fingers represented self criticism, and criticism from and to others. She said this criticism caused feelings of disconnection, unloved, alone and separation. So true and such a clear visual representation and reminder. I thought I was being clever when I chipped in with 'and those birds must represent freedom!' 'Oh no' she said 'those birds are high expectation birds, they need to be flying lower'. So Alice and I often share a joke about watching out for pointing critical fingers and bringing those high expectation birds to fly a little lower. We also remind each other that we don't need to compare ourselves as better or worse than anyone else. Thank you Alice for such great reminders. And Happy 21st Birthday! What a wonderful first day of Spring gift you are. Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, Maree xx If you'd like to connect further, please get in touch to ... Find out more about us and pom-melbourne Email me maree@pom-melbourne.com to
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In this weeks blog I wanted to share a story from my recent Middle Way LA, 'Enlightened Experience Retreat' in Cambria, California. I had the opportunity to run a 'Creating Together' workshop at the retreat. This workshop was about weaving together creatively to make a throw rug for the Cambria Community.
We used the theme of the 'Five Freedoms/Five Buddha Families' teaching, which amongst other things involves five different colours, energies, mental afflictions (things that disturb our mind) and their opposite qualities and practices. In a nutshell the 5 main things that disturb our mind, their appointed colour and their opposites are....
The workshop was fun. Well for most of us! I am sure some saw it as a bit of an opportunity to practice patience. Some us had some experience and others were first timers. Amongst the beginners was a young Cinematographer from Hollywood! He was very enthusiastic to learn to crotchet and chose to begin a yellow square. We spent time together during the workshop and beyond refining his skills. He remained enthusiastic and patient and often we would draw a small group together to continue learning together. He was so happy and pleased when he finished his creatively shaped square. He came up to me excitedly with his contribution to the scarf and shared something which touched my heart. He explained his mum used to crochet and that she had passed away when he was 14 years old. He felt this experience was a way of remembering and connecting with her. What a beautiful reminder that we often think that to make a difference something has to be big or complicated. (Like running a community cafe!) Sometimes it can be as simple as a crochet hook, some wool and some kindness. We all have opportunities to make meaningful connections with others in all sorts of ways, some as simple as a smile. I am reminded never to underestimate or fail to appreciate the power of such kind connections. That young man left with his crochet hook and plans to continue his crocheting for his peace of mind (he finds it relaxing!) and connection with his mum. I feel so grateful for the opportunity to share and connect with him. Pictured above is our scarf, beautifully modelled by Wendy, and the throw rug we made. I will tell you about where the scarf and blanket ended up next blog. Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, Maree xx If you'd like to connect further, please get in touch to ... Find out more about us and pom-melbourne Email me maree@pom-melbourne.com to
Subscribe to pom-melbourne.com to receive my weekly blog posts I have been thinking more about making realistic commitments and ways I can have the willpower to keep them. I have found it helpful to remind myself of a few things when making any commitment, including to run the cafe!
Recently I have been wanting to stop the long term snacking between meals habit I hae had fro some time. I have also been contemplating the benefits of having a regular exercise regime and being aware of cutting down on my sugar intake. With Master Shantideva's wise advice I have thought about realistic gaols in these three areas of my life. Advice like
Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, Maree xx n preparing the 'expression of interest' application to become the proprietor of a cafe and POM shop I have been reminded of some wise advice from Master Shantideva related to achieving any goal in life.
Master Sharntideva was an 8th Century Indian Buddhist monk and author of the 'Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life', (A text on how to live a good life).This ancient truth is as relevant today as it was, way back then. The particular verses that I have found helpful are from Chapter 7, which is on Joyful Effort or Enthusiasm. The verses are....... Verse 47 Before beginning (any task) take stock of your resources and then decide whether to undertake a project or not. It is better not to begin at all, than quit something you have started Verse 48 This habit (of not doing what you say you will) extends into future lives. And because of this vice one's suffering increases. Another timely opportunity to act is wasted and what needs to be done is left unaccomplished These are two verses are for anyone who wants to accomplish any goal in life. They also present a method to build up enthusiasm, self-esteem and healthy pride. Let's look at Verse 47 first. Firstly, Master Shantideva is reminding us to consider our resources before committing to a particular project. In this consideration it is helpful to ....... 1. Decide if the project or commitment is important to do 2. Consider your resources. Resources like time, money, skills, or support 3. Decide if it is realistic and possible to do 4. Then, if it is possible - do it!, Come hell or high water! Now with regard to the 'hell or high water' - sometimes unforeseen things happen and despite our best efforts or intentions things prevent us from keeping our commitments. Like when the other day I was late for my mother after committing to be on time. I had allowed enough time (though plenty of times in the past I have not!) but there was an accident on the freeway which made me late! In the second part of this verse he reminds us it is better not to start something that to quit after having started. This requires us to.... 1. Consider the above 4 steps before we commit 2. Set realistic goals If we set our expectations too high we are setting ourselves up to fail. We feel bad and our self esteem suffers when we constantly fail to meet unrealistic goals, or high expectations. So that is why it is better not to have started. Conversely if we set realistic goals and achieve them we can feel good with a healthy sense of self-esteem and pride in our achievements. We also feel enthusiastic about continuing to set and achieve realistic goals. This consideration of resources in setting realistic goals also avoids the bad habit which is mentioned in Verse 48 - the habit of not doing what you say you will. Master Shantideva reminds us this unhelpful habit causes us to suffer. We see ourselves make commitments both to others and ourselves, we can't or don't intend to keep and we feel bad. As we have discussed this type of behaviour erodes our self esteem. Fortunately these unhelpful habit can be changed. When he talks of this extending into future lives, as I am unsure of my belief in future lives, I like to consider the many lives I have had this life. I have had lives as a child, teenager, adult, parent and middle aged person. I carry this unhelpful habit with me throughout all these 'lives'. So time to make my words, both to myself and others, count! And to remember to keep the promises I make to myself and to others. If in the past you have failed to keep a commitment or lacked perseverance to achieve a particular goal, due to your own lack of understanding or unforeseen circumstances, or you have said 'lets catch up' with no intention of doing so, don't go into guilt mode, but rather take on Master Shartideva's advice and do a better best next time. So wether it is setting a goal to exercise, keep you promises to yourself and others, get to tap dancing each week or take on a particular project like running a cafe, remember to.... 1. Decide if the goal/commitment is what you want, truthful and realistic (maybe running 5k every day is a bit unrealistic, but a 15 minute run around the block 3 times a week is achievable) 2. Check your resources - (do I have the time, runners, stamina and can I still run?) 3. Commit to do it (except of course when unforeseen circumstances prevent it - reset and get back to it) 4. Rejoice in achieving every goal, no matter how small So I am preparing the application with Master Shantideva's wise advice and lots of kind help from friends. And then I am going to trust that, if it is meant to be, it will be! And if I commit to it I will do my best to follow it through. I am very grateful to you all for sharing with me. Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, Maree xx |
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