I wanted to share another amazing insight from Brene Brown on compassion and boundaries in this blog.
As I said last week Brene says that the most compassionate people she has surveyed have one thing in common - they set appropriate boundaries to prevent harm. She also says ‘to choose discomfort over resentment’.
So, I wanted to explore an appropriate self-compassionate boundary to prevent the harm of resentment. Resentment is toxic!
Over many years I have built up resentment over having to wait to have dinner until my husband gets home from work. I end up hangry (that mixture of hungry and anger that I am sure many of you know from having hangry children after school). I end up serving up as much resentment as I do food for his dinner. And I am certainly not able to be compassionate toward him and his hard day!
So, I have begun to heed Brene’s advice and choose the discomfort of eating when I am hungry and saving his dinner, over the resentment of waiting.
When I feel the hangry resentment begin, I ask my wise self ‘what do I need’? If the answer is food, I choose the discomfort of eating without him over the resentment of waiting. I see this as a self-compassionate act. It’s not the ‘I’ll show him and eat without him’ attitude which I can easily slip into. It’s about having compassion for myself first which then allows me to have compassion for him and his inability to get way from work.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all
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Come to Crafternoon!
Recently, I had the opportunity to do a presentation at an online 'Spiritual Retreat'. I have attended this retreat in the US many times over the years. I am so happy it has been able to continue online during this time.
My presentation was on Self-Compassion. I attempted to give my lived experience of the teachings I have been so fortunate to have received from my teachers, most especially, Lama Marut, Cindy Lee and Shadi Mogadine. Without them I would have nothing to put into practice or to share, I am so grateful.
I thought I would share a few things from my presentation over the next few blogs. These are things that I found useful to learn, remember, and to share. I feel so fortunate to have access to both internal and external resources to help me through this turbulent time, my presentation and my blogs.
Often I get a wobble up before I press 'send' on a blog. There once would have been a time when I would have said 'I need to get me (Maree) out of the way before I do it! These days I would prefer to to say I 'I am working in a partnership, I am checking in and following directions from my wise self!
Just the other day i opened a favourite little book of mine by Kim McMillan entitled 'When I Loved Myself Enough'. The page read.....
When i loved myself enough....
I started writing about my life and views
because I knew this was my right and responsibility.
So, these blog posts are my opportunity to share my life and views. Thank you for listening.
I wanted to share a couple of amazing insights from Brene Brown on compassion and boundaries in this and my next blog.
Brene says that the most compassionate people she has surveyed have one thing in common - they set appropriate boundaries to prevent harm.
She says it is impossible to extend an assumption of generosity - to assume others are doing their best or to have compassion for them when someone is being......
Appropriate boundaries can include
I realise now Mum gave me a wonderful opportunity to apply what I have learned to help me develop self-compassion, compassion and love for myself, her and others. Brene Brown says boundaries are necessary to prevent harm. Boundaries help with self-compassion which then allows for compassion for others.
Many times, I felt like saying to my Mother 'I'm not coming back if you continue to treat me like that'. (For me this felt like an appropriate boundary). However, I needed to be skilful with respect to applying this boundary. I knew that this response would inflame her further and she would cut off contact with me.
So instead I recalled and used ......