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Last blog we explored the last of the things I find it helpful to to say 'no' to or at least try to minimize. The final point made related to 'things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes'. I made reference to the ten Buddhist precepts which Lama Marut helpfully refers to as the ten 'misdeeds' one should avoid and their positive opposites one should adopt. He says that these and similar ethical instructions from yogic and religious texts make up a universal code of behaviour. He also says that they give us a handbook for life, the rules of the game, that can allow us to avoid major undesirable future worries and create the causes for contentment and peace.
We can often resist these ethical guidelines because we don't like to be told what to do and what not to do! It really helps to understand why it is in our own best interest to apply these to the way we live our lives. In order to do this we need to understand the laws of karma or causality to know why it is important to practice these ethical instructions in order to create the lives we want. Put simply, karma or causality can be thought of 'what goes around comes around'. So, if we put positive deeds of body, speech and mind out in the world we will create the perception of seeing them come back to us. And the converse is also true, when we perform misdeeds these too will boomerang back to us. When we understand this we are more motivated to let these ten guidelines guide our behaviour to create the life we want. In the Buddhist list of ten, the first three relate to actions of the body. So lets look at the first of these this blog. I referred to the first of these ethical guidelines as 1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves)/practice kindness. Lama Marut more succinctly says 1. Don't kill/Protect and honour life This is all about practicing non-violence, not killing or physically harming others. Why? Because 'what comes around, goes around'. It refers to protecting all life, even that of small insects, pests and bugs. Lama Marut says when it comes to death, sickness or physical pain of any sort all living beings want to avoid it. So why would we want to harm others, our future selves and ourselves by doing what we all most fear - harm. So, if we want to feel protected and honoured in our own lives we need to practice protecting and honouring the lives of all living beings. I like to remember to include practicing non-harm to myself too. This means for me trying to remember to be a kind and encouraging to myself and to look after my health and well being, so I can be in good shape to be of benefit to others. It is not possible to live without causing harm because our very existence means we harm others, often without being conscious of it, like when we kill insects on the front of our cars on a road trip. What is important is our intention to practice non-harm, respecting and caring for the lives of others as best we can. In the Buddhist and Yogic texts the karmic correlations to practicing non-harm are outlined. Among the positive correlations are good health and longevity. So lets do our best to do as Lama Marut, the Daila Lama and Gandhi suggest and practice non-harm both for the welfare of others and our future selves. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
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 As I explored last blogs saying ‘no’ or at least doing our best to minimise can help us live a more intentional and meaningful lives and prevent us from being distracted from what is best for us. Joshua Becker puts this so well when he says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
So lets look at the last of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise!. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose' rather than distracted! 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the last two.... 9. Digital Clutter and notifications As we said last blog removing or reducing visual clutter or physical possessions helps us to be less distracted promoting a sense of peace, reducing our stress and making us more availability for the things that matter. Related though less of a burden is digital clutter. I find it really helpful to do a digital declutter every so often. Going through my computer and phone to remove unneeded emails, documents and messages, clearing up my desktop and unsubscribing from what is no longer relevant to me frees me up to concentrate on the things that matter. I like to be with who I am with and to concentrate on the job at hand without distractions. This is really hard these days as there seems to be an almost constant series of phone beeps, dings and vibrations. I do my best to try to avoid being distracted by my phone and put my attention where and when I am and with whom I am. If you see me distracted, I am happy for you to give me a reminder! 10. Things that do no align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Some time ago now I was introduced to the ten Buddhist Precepts. Much like the other tens, the ten commandments and the ten pillars of Islam, they are ethical guidelines which help us to align with our values. I have found them particularly useful reminders on how I want to be living my life. Here is how I understand them in their negative and positive forms. The first three relate to action of the BODY. They are........ 1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves) Practice kindness 2. Refrain from stealing Practice protecting others property 3. Refrain from disrespecting others relationships Practice respecting others relationships The next 4 relate to SPEECH 4. Refrain from harsh speech Practice gentle speech 5. Refrain from meaningless speech Practice meaningful speech 6. Refrain from speech that excludes others Practice inclusive speech 7. Refrain from untruthful speech Practice truthful speech The last three relate to the MIND 8. Refrain from being unhappy when others are happy Practice being happy for others that are happy (or 'pile on to their happiness', as Lama Marut says) 9. Refrain from being happy when others are not happy (have misfortune) Practice having compassion for others who are suffering 10. Refrain from incorrect world view Practice applying wisdom and taking responsibility. I find these great principles to live by. I do my best to uphold them and try not to give myself a hard time when I muck up. We are all practicing! I will spend some more time elaborating on these in the following blogs. Related here is staying true to ourselves and not agreeing to do something we feel uncomfortable about, just to please others. Sometimes 'no' is the kindest thing for all concerned if it doesn't feel right. We all have likes and dislikes and it's important to be able to authentically, kindly and appropriately express these free of judgment or wanting to be liked or approved of. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx As I said last blog saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. We need self compassion and courage to do so and this continues to be something I am learning to get better at. As Joshua Becker says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
Last blog we looked at three of a list of ten things I find helpful to say ‘no’ to or to at least do my best to minimise. As I mentioned these are things that are distractions for me from what would be best to be doing. Being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose'. Your list may look completely different to mine, depending on what values, priorities likes and dislikes are important to you. Here is the list of things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include.... 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the second three..... 4. Projects or opportunities I really don't understand Sometimes I agree to do things when I really don’t have an appreciation or understanding of what I am taking on. Taking the time to get clear on what you are agreeing so that you can take the time necessary to make an informed decision about whether you have the resources, energy and willingness to do it. And also, whether by doing it you are impacting negatively on our relationships with others. 5. Unhealthy habits Both our everyday and long time habits shape our lives. It is helpful to do a review of our habits and decide which are benefiting us and which are no longer serving us. So I do my best to keep fit with yoga, walks and slow plod like runs. I also try to get plenty of sleep. Early to bed and early to rise works well for me. I also try to do my best to eat well, although I have just eaten fish and chips for dinner! I also try to do as my mother encouraged me to do 'tidy up as you go". My spiritual practice, including a morning gratitude practice, is important so I try to make this a priority. This is a work in progress for me, awareness and self compassion are key. Remembering to check into my wise self for kind encouragement to look after myself and create healthy habits. 6. Too many words. Harmful speech. The amount we talk often depends on our personality and what work we are involved in. It's important to have awareness around the words we use and when we use them. It is a helpful to ask ourselves is our speech ......... - timely - necessary - kind and - true before we speak . Also helpful is 'Right Speech' in Buddhism. The 4 elements of 'right speech' are speech that is...... - kind - inclusive - meaningful - truthful Being careful about the words we use - selecting words with the above elements that lift others up, motivate and encourage them is important for meaningful connection. Not using or at least doing our best to minimise words that harm, divide, untruthful, or are meaningless and waste others time is well worth considering. So I think I have said more than enough! Thank you for reading. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx As I said last blog saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. We need self compassion and courage to do so and this continues to be something I am learning to get better at. As Joshua Becker says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
So lets look at the next two of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose' 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the next two.... 7. Negative self talk Being aware of our negative self talk curiously questioning its validity and checking in with our wise self for some kind encouraging words is a way to transform those limiting, untrue and unkind thoughts into more helpful, encouraging and truthful ones. Being aware when we are being our own harsh critic and when we are allowing fear, regret, blame, negativity, worry regarding the future or criticism to dominate our thinking is very helpful. With this awareness we can instead choose to tune into our wise selves to be reminded of some kind and encouraging thoughts to choose instead. This is certainly a continual and very worthwhile practice for me. 8. Possessions Collecting more and more possessions is one area I find very useful to say 'no' to or at least reduce. I am very fortunate to have more than enough of what I need and so I try to resist the temptation to collect more shoes, clothes, books etc. I have found it particularly helpful to actually get rid of stuff that I don't need. It's always a good reminder to go on holidays with just a suitcase worth of possessions to realise how living with what we need is doable and liberating. Lama Marut taught what he called the contentment mantra which was 'Om I have enough ah hum' This is a particularly useful thing to say to ourselves when we are tempted to buy more stuff. I find it very useful as I am walking down High Street and I see all the new clothes etc. in the shop windows. Joshua Becker in addition to taking about the benefits of minimising possession reminds us about reducing visual clutter and visual noise in our lives. He says 'visual noise is any random visual stimulus that draws our attention'. Visual clutter is all the things around us that distract us. As I type this I am looking at my desk which could certainly do with a visual declutter. Joshua says that minimising visual clutter can be as simple as putting things away when we have finished with them. I am reminded of my mother who always followed this rule, constantly reminding us to pick up after ourselves. Her house was always tidy and clutter free. I was very thankful of her minimalistic lifestyle when it came time to clear out her house. Again this is a work in progress for me, but certainly remains something I aspire to. Again on holidays with fewer things to keep track of, this was much easier. In addition Joshua says that this visual decluttering can be as complicated as keeping all the surfaces in our home clear of unneeded items. I love waking up to a clean kitchen with a clear bench. Maybe its time for another declutter of visual clutter in our home. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes ,to us all Maree xx |
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