How do you feel when others appear ungrateful or even disapproving of you or the efforts you have made? I have been seeing a bit of ingratitude and disapproval this week and have been reminded of some helpful ways to deal with these situations, including finding the hidden gems these so called 'troublemakers' bring us and hence why we can be grateful for them.
Last week we explored the meaning and many benefits of being grateful. Our Thursday group has been studying a text entitled The Guide To The Bodhisattvas Way of Life and last week we explored the pitfalls of pride and seeking approval in others. As I have previously said, this text is a guide to living a good life. Pema Chodron in her commentary on the text refers to the value of what she calls 'troublemakers'! Troublemakers can refer to anyone who pushes our buttons, be it the person who is ungrateful, disapproving or irritating. Our next few blogs will explore the value of such people in our lives This week we will look at the benefits of having the first of these so called 'troublemakers' in our lives, the ungrateful troublemaker! Do you have any ungrateful troublemakers in your life? I have had many over the years and failed to understand or see the value of them in my life. So what things are helpful to remember when we encounter those so called troublemakers who appear ungrateful or even disapproving of us? Let's start with those people we experience as ungrateful. The Benefits of the Ungrateful Troublemaker I often find myself seeking thanks or recognition for something I have done. While it is nice to receive such thanks and helpful to remember to give thanks too, we cannot control whether others show appreciation to us or not! So when that troublemaker, appears not to notice, appreciate or acknowledge some kindness we have shown what is a helpful response? I can often feel resentful when others do no show appreciation of my efforts. Acknowledging this feeling of resentment and then remembering I have a choice in how I respond is helpful. As I have said many times it is never helpful to deny or suppress such feelings. Once acknowledged we can work skilfully with them. So what is helpful to remember when those feelings of resentment regarding a perceived lack of appreciation pop up?
My Gratitude practice
Have a great week. Thank you all. Kind Regards and Best Wishes, Maree xx
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As we said last week, If BEING CONTENT is the cure for our discontent, GRATITUDE is the gateway to that Contentment.
So what is gratitude? Gratitude is defined as 'a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness'. Gratitude is the key to happiness in our everyday lives and the gateway to true happiness and contentment. Scientific studies repeatedly confirm what we know is the truth. Grateful people are happier people. Neurosciences' understanding of neuroplasticity, or the plastic and changeable nature of our brain and mind, has confirmed that when we choose to be positive and grateful we create and strengthen the neural pathways that promote our health, happiness and well being. Our thoughts create our reality. We feel content, abundant, happy and optimistic, when we choose...
There are many other benefits to being grateful including...
So there are lots of reasons to start a practice of gratitude. Why not join me in a... Morning Gratitude practice
I can remember not too many years ago waking up full of moans and groans about getting up, the weather, the day ahead, getting to work in the traffic, and challenging patients. This was creating an unhelpful habit that was certainly not conducive to a positive, happy outlook. These days I try to remember to wake up grateful instead of allowing that negative soundtrack to take me to that unhappy place. We can start by being grateful for waking up!! And go on from there concentrating on all the things that are going right and our blessed lives. 2. Gratitude for my spotlighted person of the week .. my mum Maybe a review of the 'resentment verses appreciation' blogs might be useful here. As I outlined in these blogs, some people may have suffered deep pain, hurt or abandonment, and I am not suggesting trivialising or ignoring these feelings. It can be difficult to forgive and let go of deep hurt and resentment and may take time and therapy to do so. I find it helpful to be aware of how easy it can be for me to slip into negativity and resentment and replay that unhelpful soundtrack over and over. It is much more helpful to instead remember, to choose gratitude over resentment and that gratitude promotes positivity and happiness. And there is plenty to be grateful to my mother for - my life for one and all the sacrifices she made to bring me into the world. My personal gratitude practice this week will include...
Have a great week. Thank you all. Kind Regards and Best Wishes, Maree xx |
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