Better For Others - Loved and Appreciated

​Ever feel unappreciated or unloved? I was reminded the other day how yucky it feels when I feel unappreciated, and how easily I can change that. One of my adult kids announced they were going vegetarian and asked if I could cook some interesting vegetarian meals. Well, I could give it a go, but could I give it a go without resentment or the need to be approved of or appreciated? Well here was the test!

I made an effort that evening to make some very fiddly veggie burgers with homemade sourdough rolls and tomato sauce. I really enjoyed doing it and was pleased with the result. I completed the prep and went to have my '5 Minute Relax Shavasana' (thank goodness!) Shortly after I received a text - "sorry mum, I am not home for dinner'.

What!! I watched my mind go to all sorts of unhelpful places - resentment, blame, martyrdom, criticism! Helpful?? NO!
So what was a more helpful place to go? To remember - 'it is like this now - What is a wise response?

• To rest in my kind intention and efforts to provide an interesting vegetarian meal (something I can control) and let go of the outcome! Clearly I can't control the outcome - they are not home to eat it!

I also watched my mind feel unappreciated, and sorry for myself. Helpful? NO. So while I cannot control whether others are able to show love and appreciation for me and my efforts in the kitchen, what can I control? I can control resting in my good intention and giving myself the love and appreciation for the kind efforts made. 

So what I decided to do to remind myself of this and how differently I feel when I believe I can give myself love and appreciation, for the efforts I make to be a positive force in the world. It is completely different when I act from the position of feeling loved and appreciated, without trying to control getting it from outside myself! So what did I do to remind myself that I can love and appreciate myself? 

• I embroidered 'loved and appreciated' on my apron to remind me that I do not need to seek love and approval outside of myself and instead I can give it to myself. I love to wear my apron - it helps to prevent cooking resentment!  It is funny no one in the family has noticed yet, not that they need to - the reminder is for me!
• I embroidered a hankie with 'Loved and Appreciated' on it, which I gave to a friend as a reminder too. 

If I feel loved and appreciated I can do my best without the need for others to approve of or be appreciative of my efforts. And of course if they do - that is bonus. But I do not need to  hinge my sense of self-esteem on this outside approval or appreciation, I can give it to myself and be less resentful and needy - 'better FOR others!'

• Out of respect to myself and my vegetarian I kindly reminded them I was not wanting to blame and that I understood why they had not come home and was thankful to them for letting me know. However, I wanted to kindly let them know I had put effort into making an interesting meal. I checked in on my intention to be on the look out for resentment or blame and delivered my reminder in a kind respectful manner. I had truly let go of resentment and blame and was able to love and appreciate us both! What a relief!

Maybe you need to remind someone, including yourself, that you or they are Loved and Appreciated. Hilary would be happy to embroider an apron for you too.
  
Have a great fortnight - I look forward to connecting with you soon 

Kind Regards 
Maree xx

If you'd like to connect further, please get in touch to ...
Find out more about us and pom-melbourne  
 
Email me maree@pom-melbourne.com to

• Buy POM products in support of the Kandy Women's Development Centre and other community projects  
• Come to Crafternoon or attend a Workshop

Subscribe to pom-melbourne.com to receive my weekly blog posts