I wanted to share another amazing insight from Brene Brown on compassion and boundaries in this blog.
As I said last week Brene says that the most compassionate people she has surveyed have one thing in common - they set appropriate boundaries to prevent harm. She also says ‘to choose discomfort over resentment’.
So, I wanted to explore an appropriate self-compassionate boundary to prevent the harm of resentment. Resentment is toxic!
Over many years I have built up resentment over having to wait to have dinner until my husband gets home from work. I end up hangry (that mixture of hungry and anger that I am sure many of you know from having hangry children after school). I end up serving up as much resentment as I do food for his dinner. And I am certainly not able to be compassionate toward him and his hard day!
So, I have begun to heed Brene’s advice and choose the discomfort of eating when I am hungry and saving his dinner, over the resentment of waiting.
When I feel the hangry resentment begin, I ask my wise self ‘what do I need’? If the answer is food, I choose the discomfort of eating without him over the resentment of waiting. I see this as a self-compassionate act. It’s not the ‘I’ll show him and eat without him’ attitude which I can easily slip into. It’s about having compassion for myself first which then allows me to have compassion for him and his inability to get way from work.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all
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