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Make Your Words Meaningful and Sincere

1/29/2023

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We are up to our fourth and final misdeed related to speech. Lama Marut puts this very clearly.......... 

Don't engage in useless speech / Make your words meaningful and sincere. 
 
As I always say I try to remember to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. As I always say, this is a work in progress.

Meaningless, idle or useless speech includes......
  • Speech which is a meaningless discussion or debate with others about things you really don't understand that much about. This could include debating about politics or sport when not in a position to understand or know much about it. Certainly for me it would be meaningless for me to attempt to discuss AFL football or politics.  
  • Speaking for the sake of speaking. Chatting about things that are not of meaningful or relevance to others. Like chatting on endlessly about food or any other interest or experience you may have had with someone who is not at all interested. This wastes the precious time of ourselves and others.
  • Gossipy. This involves idle gossipy talk about others. It is often more common for us to gossip about other's problems, rather than talk about the good stuff that is happening. Talking about someone's good qualities and rejoicing in their good fortune is to be encouraged. It is important to be aware of the temptation to gossip, as it is destructive to our own ability to communicate and be heard and respected.
  • Saying we will do something and not following through on doing it. Lama Marut uses the example of saying 'we must catch up soon' when we have no intention of doing so. By doing this we are hearing ourselves say something which is not in line with what we are thinking. We hear ourselves talking rubbish and then we come to think of ourselves as rubbish. 
The karmic (what goes around comes around) consequence of meaningless speech is that no one pays any attention to what we say. If we have engaged in meaningless speech, others will see our speech as meaningless. Because you have not valued your own speech in the past others will not value it either. 

Lama Marut tells us that there is an even worse consequence to meaningless speech. Because you have heard yourself talking rubbish (meaningless speech which is not respectful, or promises you have no intention of following through on) you will have the perception of yourself as having no value or worth in general. He tells us lack of confidence, depression and low self-esteem come from meaningless speech. 

On the positive side of things there are positive karmic consequence for making our words meaningful and sincere, and making our actions match our words by doing what we said we would. By hearing ourselves speak meaningfully we are creating the perception of ourselves as sincere, someone who says what they say they will and respectful. We will feel good about ourselves and others will respect, listen and value our speech contributions.  

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​
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Use Words that are Kind and Pleasing to Others (and to you too)!

1/19/2023

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Having covered the misdeeds related to the body and the first and second of the four misdeeds related to speech, don’t lie and be inclusive we are up to the third of these misdeeds - Don't Harm!
 
As I always say I try to remember to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. As I always say, this is a work in progress.

So, Vishuddi, or our throat chakra relates to speech and the four misdeeds related to speech. The third of these four as Lama Marut puts it is........ 
 
Don’t hurt people with your words / Use words that are kind and pleasing to others
 
Harsh or unkind speech includes words that hurt others. We can include ourselves and our internal dialog here too. Being aware of unkind internal speech and replacing it with kind encouraging words. Practicing kind speech both to ourselves and others is a life changing practice.

So, harsh speech can be external or internal. Whether we are speaking to ourselves or others it is our intention that matters not what we say or how we say it. Harsh speech can be loud, with lots of swearing, full of sarcasm, or even soft and sweet. It is harsh speech if it has the intention to hurt another.  

Lama Marut tells us the karmic correlation for speaking harshly is that we will perceive others as speaking unkindly to us and saying things that we don't want to hear. I have had experiences in my life where I seem to be constantly perceiving people as difficult or argumentative. Being aware of practicing kind speech helps me to not create the causes for such perceptions.

Another karmic correlation of harsh speech is the perception of noise pollution. So, again to avoid all types of unwanted noises, including the people criticising us or abusing us or the noisy neighbours we need to create the perception of an harmonious environment, through the use of kind, friendly and pleasant speech, both externally and internally. Who wants to listen to a harsh, critical internal soundtrack! It's time to stop that by replacing it with kind, encouraging words to yourself. I love the words of Helen Reddy's song 'Best Friend' to remind me of this. 

Best Friend 
Would you take better care of yourself 
Would you be kinder to yourself
Would you be more forgiving of your human imperfections 
If you realised your best friend was yourself 

Who is always with your everywhere 
Who is on your side when others are unfair 
And tell me, who will never let you down in any situation 
Who will always see your get your share 

And that's why I am a best friend to myself
And I take me out whenever I feel low
And I make my life as happy as a best friend would
I'm as nice to me as anyone I know


So, as I  said I always find it helpful to check in with my wise self or best friend to ask what I need to say both to myself and others. The suggestions are always kind and encouraging. When we get to our throat chakra in our yoga practice I encourage us to check in with our wise selves for some words which are kind and encouraging and to say these words to ourselves three times. 

In Buddhism there are what are called the 'Four Immeasurables', these can be thought of as ways to act toward ourselves and others. They are 
1. Kindness or Friendliness
2. Compassion
3. Sympathetic Joy (being happy for others) 
4. Equanimity 

The first of these kindness or friendliness is inherent here with both our internal speech to ourselves and external speech to others. I love the word 'friendly' and doing my best to practice friendliness. As we've discovered being kind and friendly will create the causes to have both a pleasing and friendly external environment and internal environment too.

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx

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Speak in Ways that Bring Others Together

1/1/2023

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​Having covered the misdeeds related to the body and the first misdeed related to speech, don’t lie, we are up to the second of the misdeeds related to speech. (number five in our list of ten).
 
Before we get onto discuss this, I wanted to share some questions I have found very useful to consider before I speak. Often our emotions can be strong and can lead us to express ourselves in unhelpful ways.  Remembering wise speech really helps with this.
To do this we can ask ourselves these important questions, before we speak our truth- 

1. Is it True? – or is it exaggerated (watch for you 'always' and 'never') or out of context?

2.  Is it Well intended/Kind? - What is my intention in saying this? Is it helpful and kind?

3.  Is it Necessary? Do I really need to say this?

4.  Is it timely? - We can also add timely - is this the right time to be discussing this?
 
As I also said I try to remember to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. As I said, this is a work in progress.

So, Vishuddi, or our throat chakra relates to speech and the four misdeeds related to speech. The second of these four as Lama Marut puts it is........ 
 
Don’t use your words to drive a wedge between people – Speak in ways that bring others together.
 
This is known as divisive speech, when we say something about someone to someone else with the intention of dividing them. I can recall doing this as a teenager, when I had the misguided idea that turning someone against someone else would make me more popular!
 
Quite the reverse is true. The karmic correlation related to this divisive speech is that we lose friends easily. We also experience others as speaking badly of us. Another karmic correlation is that we may perceive we live in an environment where travel is difficult. Lama Marut explains that by tearing others apart through our words we are creating the causes for that to come back to us as experiencing difficult joining ourselves to our destination.
 
Instead of being divisive with our speech we can use our speech to bring others together. We can say nice things about others, especially when they are not around! We all have many opportunities to do this and it always feels good. Many years ago, I got the opportunity to do this when I introduced a new mother at my children’s primary school to other mothers. She still reminds me that it made her feel included and we are good friends to this day, some thirty years later.
It is not surprising that by being inclusive with our speech we generate loyal friends and more harmonious relationships in the future.

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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Keep Telling The Truth!

12/20/2022

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So, now for more about the first the four misdeeds related to our speech. As I said in ‘Tell the truth’  in yoga when we get to vishuddhi or our throat chakra I always remind myself to let go of any unhelpful speech, speech which is NOT.....
  • truthful, 
  • inclusive 
  • kind
  • meaningful
I also remind myself to check in with my wise self before I speak . that way my speech will be truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful.

I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive, kind encouraging ones. A work in progress.

So as I said this chakra relates to speech and we will explore more about the first of these four misdeeds related to speech, as Lama Marut puts it is........

4. Don't lie - tell the truth.
I mentioned I was tempted to lie, or give someone an impression different from the one I have, when I feel bad about having something that someone else doesn't have.

Another time I am tempted to lie is when I don't want to hurt people's feelings by telling the truth. It's not good karmically to hurt another's feeling or to lie so what do we do? We employ skilful means which is an artful dance between the two.
 
Lama Marut reminds us we can be creative about finding something which is truthfully positive to say about something we don't like, to avoid hurting someone's feelings. His example of how to respond to 'how do you like my purple polka dot, polyester dress from K-mart?' question sticks in my mind. I can hear him saying 'you can always find something nice to say about the damned dress’. His suggestions include 'It fits well' or 'I like the purple colour' or even 'you got it for a great price'. Checking into our wise selves for what to say is always helpful.

Lama Marut tell us that under some very rare circumstances lying to protect the welfare of another person it is ok to lie. The example he gives is when hiding Jews from the Gestapo. He tells us there will still be a karmic consequence for telling a lie, regardless of the fact that it has a good intention. However, the karmic consequences for telling a lie under these circumstances will be minor when compared to being a party to someone's harm or death. 

Sometimes we all find it tricky to tell the truth and think telling a fib or white lie will be best to avoid embarrassment or implication.  A silly example I can remember as a kid is - 'It wasn't me!.... who farted, took the last lolly, or left the mess', when I knew it was me.

Remembering that each time we tell a lie, no matter how so called small, we are creating the karmic causes for perceiving that others do not believe or trust us and that others are lying to us, helps me to try and always be truthful.
Consequently telling the truth will see us experiencing others as truthful and people believing and trusting us.  

Remembering too we are human and at times we will behave in ways which are not truthful. When this happens rather than using blame or victimisation of self and others, we can take responsibility for our misbehaviour and do our 5 forces practice to make amends and create peace of mind. Forgiving ourselves and others and being kind and encouraging to all with our speech is the way to go!

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx

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Tell The Truth!

12/5/2022

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Having covered the misdeeds related to the body. We are up to the first of the misdeeds related to speech. So a quick misdeed of the body review .......
  1. Don’t kill - Protect and honour life 
  2. Don’t steal – Treat other people’s things with respect and practice generosity.
  3. Don’t hurt others with your sexual activity – Respect and foster others’ relationships.  
So, now to the first of the four misdeeds related to our speech, (Number 4 of our list of ten). In yoga these relate to our throat chakra or vishuddhi. In Pom yoga we do a chakra based practice clearing out the ignorant energy at the different chakras and getting the energy of wisdom flowing freely, so we know what to say to whom and when. At vishuddhi I always remind myself to let go of any unhelpful speech, speech which is NOT.....
  • truthful, 
  • inclusive 
  • kind
  • meaningful
I also remind myself to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue, critical or unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. A fun work in progress.
So as I said this chakra relates to speech and the four misdeeds related to speech. The first of these four as Lama Marut puts it is........

4. Don't lie - tell the truth.
I can be thankful to my Mother for instilling this into me as a child and throughout my life. Honesty was her big thing and she certainly had no hesitation in calling us out when were not being entirely truthful. Being dishonest can get us in lots of strife as I was reminded by watching "Brigette Jones Baby" and the 'who was the father debacle?' she got herself into! And the ‘liar, liar pants on fire’ saying. 

However, it was Lama Marut who helped me to really understand what it means to lie. He says 'lying means giving someone an impression different from the one that you have.'  This definition means that if we think something is one way and we give a different representation of the situation to someone else then we are lying. 

I was thinking about this, this morning when I caught myself about to give a different impression to what I was experiencing. I have remained in Townsville this week and plan to spend some time writing, reading, relaxing and exercising. The truth is it is so beautiful here and I am having a lovely relaxing time and am not bothered by the heat and humidity.  What I was about to tell my friend who is in cold Melbourne going through a tricky time was that it was hot, steamy and uncomfortable.

When I questioned myself as to why I was tempted to lie, I thought it was probably about feeling a little guilty about being where I love. I am reminded of something I heard Lama Marut teach. My understanding of it goes something like this - Just because you have something (a lovely relaxing recharge) does not mean that you are preventing someone else from having it. So, I have decided to be grateful for this break and to enjoy it. And to dedicate my happiness and good fortune to be here to the happiness of others. 

By giving someone a false impression of what is really going on for us we are imprinting our consciousness negatively. The karmic consequence of lying is that we will have the perception of being lied to by others. In addition, we will experience others not believing us even when we are telling the truth. Reminiscent of the story of the 'Boy who cried wolf'.

Remember not to give yourself a hard time and to instead make your speech to yourself and others truthful, kind and encouraging! Remember also when we slip up we have the five forces and forgiving ourselves and others. We'll explore more about this first misdeed of speech next blog. 

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
 ​
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Respecting Relationships

11/21/2022

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Having gone on a few interesting detours over past blogs this fortnight’s will return to our exploration of the misdeeds related to the body. We are up to the third of these, having covered  ….
  1. Don’t kill - Protect and honour life 
  2. Don’t steal – Treat other people’s things with respect and practice generosity.
So, this third misdeed related to the body is 
  1. Don’t hurt others with your sexual activity – Respect and foster others’ relationships.  
As I said last blog, I really find Lama Marut’s take on the ten precepts very helpful. The precepts give us the tools to negotiate life to avoid future worries and create the causes for future contentment and peace of mind.
 
So, this third misdeed relates to adultery. As Lama Marut explains it ‘adultery means having sexual relations with someone other than your partner (assuming you have mutually agreed not too) or, if single with someone who is married or otherwise seriously and exclusively committed to another.’
 
This behaviour hurts other people. Hurt including the betrayal of trust. Lama Marut tells us the ancient texts refer to karmic ripenings, or future consequence of this type of behaviour.
'What goes around comes around'. These include…….
  • Unfaithful spouses
  • Others trying to steal your partner
  • Those around you (friends, family, workmates) seem untrustworthy to you
  • We perceive others as enemies
  • We perceive our environment as dirty or polluted
 
So, if we want a sexual partner and others in our lives we can trust, a nice clean environment and friendly people around us, we need to refrain from hurting others with our sexual activity. And we need to put the causes in place for a positive future. These include….
  • Respecting other’s relationships. Respecting others in general is a great practice! 
  • Supporting other’s relationships. For me this includes doing my best to refrain from joining in with harmful gossip about others or unhelpful judgment and bagging of others or their relationships. I sometimes find it hard to refrain from putting my two cents worth in with how I think others should be in relationship. It is helpful to remember to judge the behaviour and not the person and also to understand we often have no idea what is going on for others. Compassion for all including us is much more helpful than judgment and blame. 
So instead, be complimentary of others when you see good things going on and do what you can to promote understanding, care, compassion and respect in all relationships. 
  • And I find these 5 relationship rules good reminders
    • Stay faithful
    • Make them feel wanted
    • Respect your partner
    • Don’t flirt with others 
    • Make time 
Remembering too we are human and at times we will behave in ways which are disrespectful and may be harmful to others or their relationships. When this happens rather than using blame or victimization of self and others we can take responsibility for our misbehaviour and do our 5 forces practice to make amends and create peace of mind
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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Forgiveness as a Recompense and Respecting Relationships!

11/21/2022

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This fortnights blog explores the third of our misdeeds related to the body. As Lama Marut puts it....
Don't hurt others with your sexual activity - Respect and foster others' relationships.
I love Lama Marut's take on the ten precepts. He tells us that they give us a handbook for life, the rules of the game, that can allow us to avoid major undesirable future worries and create the causes for contentment and peace. 

Before we look at this precept I wanted to revisit the 5 Forces (last blog we added a fifth force to our 'Four Forces Practice', REJOICING in our goodness) and forgiveness as a recompense that can transform our misdeeds. 

Today is our 36th wedding anniversary and this has got me thinking about the regret I have over the resentment I have built up over so many years. I'm sure those of you who know me would have had your ears bashed with my complaints! I am truly sorry. I think I have done a lot of suppressing of this resentment over the years and lots of inappropriate expression of it too. Now I am not giving myself a hard time over this because at the time I didn't know that suppressing these emotion was so unhelpful. I now know (when I remember!) to allow and accept these emotions and check in with my wise self for what I need to do. 

It seems an apt time to I write about applying this 5 forces to my past resentment. So here we go.....

Refuge 
I certainly take refuge in my understanding that creating resentment is no good for anyone, especially me.

Regret
I certainly regret doing this. But I  have compassion for both myself and others too  - we were doing our best with what we knew at the time. 

Restraint
More recently I have become more aware of my resentful and controlling, fixing behaviour and have been making attempts to restrain from doing it (still a work in progress). I try to restrain from nagging, trying to 'fix' things and giving unsolicited advice (because of course I know what he should do! Not!). It may have been appropriate when my kids were growing up, but now its not. Its time to let them live as they want and need to, without interference, unless of course advice is asked for.   Through learning to be more accepting of myself and my humanness I can be more accepting of others and allow them to be who they need to be. I have also been making attempts to understand and express my own needs and understand others needs too, and then let go of expectation. Lots of fun to be had here.

Recompense
The recompense, or make-up activity that comes to mind is forgiveness. Forgiveness for all including me. 
Forgiveness is a very powerful recompense helping us to remove fear and bitterness. As Nelson Mandela says 'Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon'. Forgiving others for past hurt liberates us, clears our conscience and creates peace of mind.
We  are all doing our best with what we know at the time.  As Maya Angelou says 'Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better'. I am in the process of apologising for my resentful, fixing behaviour and non-acceptance, forgiving others and myself too! I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time as well.  
Forgiveness is an ongoing practice, continually doing it for others and ourselves for all sort of things is so helpful. 

Rejoicing 
This involves rejoicing in or being really happy about having done this practice and to have followed through with the recompense make-up activity. So I'm rejoicing now!  Im celebrating letting stuff go, forgiving and doing my best to be aware of not creating future resentment. In Buddhism there is a lovely practice of rejoicing in the good we have done in the world and giving it away or dedicating it to the happiness of others. 

Another thing I find really helpful to do, is to stop telling myself old stories. These usually involve never and always. An example of a story I have stopped telling is "X is always disorganised". When I let go of this story and treat every meeting with X like its a new start I can meet, allow and accept them as they are now and interact free of that old story. 

I've run out of time and don't want to make this blog too long so we'll take a look at the third of these misdeeds related to the body next blog. 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
 ​
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Using the "Four Forces' to Help us in Practicing KINDNESS to All Including You!

10/9/2022

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Last blog we explored the first of ten 'misdeeds' of the body. Lama Marut succinctly puts this first one as ....... 
1.  Don't kill/Protect and honour life  
He says that these ten precepts give us a handbook for life, the rules of the game, that can allow us to avoid major undesirable future worries and create the causes for contentment and peace.

This is because of karma. Put simply, karma or causality can be thought of as 'what goes around comes around'. So, if we put positive deeds of body, speech and mind out in the world we will create the perception of seeing them come back to us. And the converse is also true, when we perform misdeeds these too will boomerang back to us. When we understand this we are more motivated to let these ten guidelines guide our behaviour to create the life we want.

This first one is all about practicing non-violence, not killing or physically harming others, including ourselves.  What is important is our intention to practice non-harm, respecting and caring for the lives of others as best we can. But as we know this is not always possible even despite our best intentions and we slip up. We are all human and make 'so called' mistakes. 

A practice that really helps me when I slip up and create harm is the 'Four Forces' purification or conscious clearing practice. I am often tempted to bash myself up or feel guilty when I do harm or any other misdeed. This is creating more harm and is certainly not kind to myself or others! So, Instead I find it really useful to do a 'Four Forces' on the misdeed. So a little recap on the practice, as best as  understand it .......
1. Refuge
Go for refuge in your understanding of karma, 'what goes around comes around'. So if I do harm, harm will come back to me at some time in the future. (unless I do a Four Forces purification')
2. Regret
Truly Regret doing that particular harm, understanding it has hurt others and you. 
3. Restraint
Decide on a realistic time frame you can refrain from doing this particular harm. 
4. Recompense
This is a make up activity you plan to do to make amends. This can involve an apology or an action you decide on to make amends for what you have done. You are your own judge and jury so you get to decide what is appropriate to do and whether to involve the other person or just leave it to your mind.

A really powerful example of this practice related to harm was a story I heard many years ago. I will try and recall it as best I can. There was a Tibetan Buddhist living and working in the USA. He was drafted into the army during the Vietnam war. He practiced these precepts and wanted to honour not killing and honouring and protecting life, which was very difficult under the circumstances. During his time in Vietnam he had fired shots into scrub and while not being sure he had killed anyone, this remained a possibility in his mind, which troubled him greatly. When he returned home his teacher gave him this creative use of this practice.
1. Refuge
He certainly understood that 'what goes around comes around' and wanted to make amends for possibly killing people.
2. Regret 
He certainly regretted any possible harm he could have caused 
3. Restraint
He felt he could restrain from taking life for the rest of his life.
4. Recompense
His 'make-up' activity was to take care of the life of a sheep for its natural life. So he cared for a sheep in his suburban backyard until it passed away of old age. 
Having done this he had cleared any negative consequences of possible killing.

Now of course maybe we don't have to be so elaborate or big with our recompense. Something meaningful and appropriate to you is all that is required. Once this make up activity is done you can have a clear conscience and peace of mind. A long time ago I wrote a blog about doing this practice in relation to a driving misdeed when I cut someone off in traffic. I went for refuge in my understanding of the consequences, I regretted it, I thought I could restrain for the whole of the car trip and my make up activity was to let someone into the traffic. Although the opportunity to do this took til I was nearly home, once done I could relax with a clear conscience.  

We'll take a look at the second of these misdeeds related to the body next blog. 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
 ​
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1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves)/practice kindness.

9/26/2022

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Last blog we explored the last of the things I find it helpful to to say 'no' to or at least try to minimize. The final point made related to 'things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes'. I made reference to the ten Buddhist precepts which Lama Marut helpfully refers to as the ten 'misdeeds' one should avoid and their positive opposites one should adopt. He says that these and similar ethical instructions from yogic and religious texts make up a universal code of behaviour. He also says that they give us a handbook for life, the rules of the game, that can allow us to avoid major undesirable future worries and create the causes for contentment and peace.

We can often resist these ethical guidelines because we don't like to be told what to do and what not to do! It really helps to understand why it is in our own best interest to apply these to the way we live our lives. In order to do this we need to understand the laws of karma or causality to know why it is important to practice these ethical instructions in order to create the lives we want. Put simply, karma or causality can be thought of 'what goes around comes around'. So, if we put positive deeds of body, speech and mind out in the world we will create the perception of seeing them come back to us. And the converse is also true, when we perform misdeeds these too will boomerang back to us. When we understand this we are more motivated to let these ten guidelines guide our behaviour to create the life we want.

In the Buddhist list of ten, the first three relate to actions of the body. So lets look at the first of these this blog.
I referred to the first of these ethical guidelines as
1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves)/practice kindness.
Lama Marut more succinctly says
1.  Don't kill/Protect and honour life  

This is all about practicing non-violence, not killing or physically harming others. Why? Because 'what comes around, goes around'. It refers to protecting all life, even that of small insects, pests and bugs. Lama Marut says when it comes to death, sickness or physical pain of any sort all living beings want to avoid it. So why would we want to harm others, our future selves and ourselves by doing what we all most fear - harm. 

So, if we want to feel protected and honoured in our own lives we need to practice protecting and honouring the lives of all living beings. 

I like to remember to include practicing non-harm to myself too. This means for me trying to remember to be a kind and encouraging to myself and to look after my health and well being, so I can be in good shape to be of benefit to others.

It is not possible to live without causing harm because our very existence means we harm others, often without being conscious of it, like when we kill insects on the front of our cars on  a road trip. What is important is our intention to practice non-harm, respecting and caring for the lives of others as best we can.

In the Buddhist and Yogic texts the karmic correlations to practicing non-harm are outlined. Among the positive correlations are good health and longevity.  So lets do our best to do as Lama Marut, the Daila Lama and Gandhi suggest and practice non-harm both for the welfare of others and our future selves.
 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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The Last Things I Find Helpful to Say "No' to or at Least Reduce

9/10/2022

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As I explored last blogs saying ‘no’ or at least doing our best to minimise can help us live a more intentional and meaningful lives and prevent us from being distracted from what is best for us. Joshua Becker puts this so well when he says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
 

So lets look at the last of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise!. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose' rather than distracted!

1.  Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 
2.  Too many social activities and entertainment. 
3.  Keeping up with social media and news
4.  Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand
5.  Unhealthy habits 
6.  Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs)
7.  Negative self talk
8.  Possessions - I have enough 
9.  Digital Clutter and notifications
10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes

Let's look at the last two....

9. Digital Clutter and notifications 
As we said last blog removing or reducing visual clutter or physical possessions helps us to be less distracted promoting a sense of peace, reducing our stress and making us more availability for the things that matter.
Related though less of a burden is digital clutter. I find it really helpful to do a digital declutter every so often. Going through my computer and phone to remove unneeded emails, documents and messages, clearing up my desktop and unsubscribing from what is no longer relevant to me frees me up to concentrate on the things that matter. 
I like to be with who I am with and to concentrate on the job at hand without distractions. This is really hard these days as there seems to be an almost constant series of phone beeps, dings and vibrations. I do my best to try to avoid being distracted by my phone and put my attention where and when I am and with whom I am. If you see me distracted, I am happy for you to give me a reminder!

10.  Things that do no align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes 
Some time ago now I was introduced to the ten Buddhist Precepts. Much like the other tens, the ten commandments and the ten pillars of Islam, they are ethical guidelines which help us to align with our values. I have found them particularly useful reminders on how I want to be living my life.
Here is how I understand them in their negative and positive forms.
The first three relate to action of the BODY. They are........ 
1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves)
Practice kindness 
2. Refrain from stealing
Practice protecting others property
3. Refrain from disrespecting others relationships  
Practice respecting others relationships
The next 4 relate to SPEECH 
4. Refrain from harsh speech
Practice gentle speech 
5. Refrain from meaningless speech 
Practice meaningful speech
6. Refrain from speech that excludes others
Practice inclusive speech 
7. Refrain from untruthful speech 
Practice truthful speech
The last three relate to the MIND
8. Refrain from being unhappy when others are happy
Practice being happy for others that are happy (or 'pile on to their happiness', as Lama Marut says)
9. Refrain from being happy when others are not happy (have misfortune)
Practice having compassion for others who are suffering
10. Refrain from incorrect world view
Practice applying wisdom and taking responsibility.

I find these great principles to live by. I do my best to uphold them and try not to give myself a hard time when I muck up. We are all practicing!
I will spend some more time elaborating on these in the following blogs.
Related here is staying true to ourselves and not agreeing to do something we feel uncomfortable about, just to please others. Sometimes 'no' is the kindest thing for all concerned if it doesn't feel right. We all have likes and dislikes and it's important to be able to authentically, kindly and appropriately express these free of judgment or wanting to be liked or approved of.  
 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​
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