I have been reminded recently that when I focus on problems I seem to attract more problems! This is certainly been the case with negative thoughts and worry too.

When I can change my focus from problem (worry or negative thought) to focus on the possibilities, I have many more opportunities. This is an easy lens shift. All we need is to do is  simply do what Matthew Groves suggests and 'replace the word 'problem' with the word 'opportunity' in all your thoughts.' And I would like to add, in your words as well. 

This trip I have the opportunity to explore (remember - with curiosity!) and learn about Hindmarsh Shire council practices, rules, zoning permits and accessibility issues, and a lack of housing and land for sale! I have also had the opportunity to meet lots of lovely locals, enjoy the beautiful bush and share this beautiful place with friends!

My wise inner guide and my truly human self, together,  have been focusing on remaining curious about possibilities and subsequent opportunities.  Remaining curious and open are key! Opportunities abound if we can just shift the lens from 'problem' to 'possibility'.

I am reminded of Lama Marut's famous slogan 'never let a good disaster go to waste'. There is an opportunity for learning and growth in every so called problem or disaster. It is up to us to change the lens to find the cloud's silver lining.

A little thought that has helped me do this to 'let go of the word 'problem' and instead embrace the words 'possibility' and 'opportunity'! 

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​

I have continued to be reminded of the impact we can have on others through the smallest of kind acts! And big ones too, like our Dimboola experience! I know how good it feels to be on the receiving end of a smile, offer of help, an encouraging word, a compliment or a kind act, no matter how big or small! And how good it feels to offer this to others too! This is the energy I want to be around and also the energy I want to share with others!

My wise inner guide and I (my truly wise guide and my truly human self, together)  have been focusing on more KINDNESS, POSITIVITY and being aware of being more compassionate toward both others.

As I mentioned last blog sometimes, sadly others are not in a position to be kind or positive. While it is important to be compassionate and understanding toward them it may also be necessary to place a compassionate boundary in place to protect both you and them from harmful, negative energy.

This quote from Maya Angelou reminds me we that we are all doing the best with what we know at the time, but does not let us off the hook in taking responsibility for a future better best. She says 'Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.' 

So, sometimes strong kindness and compassion are needed. Sometimes, when someone is being hurtful, negative or unkind   the kindest thing we can do is to put a boundary in place. This can be an act of kindness for both them and yourself. 

I am getting better at checking in with my wise self internal guide for what to do around setting kind boundaries to protect myself and others from negativity and harm. 
I mentioned one way to do this  boundary setting last blog - 

• When someone is being hurtful sometimes the kindest thing we can say is - 'I am finding your behaviour hurtful and I need to leave now'.  Or 'please be kind' and leave! This boundary setting is an act of kindness for both them and yourself.

Here are some others ways to set boundaries.......

• When others are gossiping, being negative, catastrophising or talking about things you find distressing, it may be helpful to remove yourself from such negative energy. Any truthful excuse will do. 'Sorry I need to go' without needed to explain is often all that is needed! 
•  While it may be important to lend a kind compassionate, empathetic ear - it is not compassionate or kind to let the person go on and on with gloom and doom, negativity or things you find stressful. Sometimes saying 'I hear what you say, that must be difficult' with or without a suggestion of what might help, or an offer of help is all that is required. We can then leave it up to them. 

Sometimes I find that my suggestions or offers of help are not what the person wants. So rather than continue to be in this negative energy, I kindly excuse myself. 

So some things I find useful to do when I have been in negative situations include setting a kind boundary in place, like above, removing myself and creating positive energy by......

• singing (including in the car on my way home)
• dancing 
• running/walking 
• getting out in nature
• taking a shower
• speaking kindly and encouragingly to myself
• smiling  
• laughing 
• stand for a cause 
• consoling a friend 
• feel inspired
• read something uplifting
• express Gratitude 
• give compliments

So, be a spreader of positivity, joy and kindness. Surround yourself with positive people - including you!  And remember even small gestures of kindness and positivity toward both yourself and others can have a huge positive impact on others and you too! 

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​

My wise inner guide and I (my truly wise guide and my truly human self, together)  have been focusing on more KINDNESS and being aware of judgement!
 
I am continuing to practice checking in with my wise self or internal guide often to ask what simple or outrageous things I can do to create more of what my heart truly desires! - both for myself and others. So going into the heart and asking those questions again and again!

1.  What do I TRULY want to create? Peace, simplicity, freedom, joy, love and KINDNESS (my top pick this fortnight)

2.  What simple or outrageous thing can I do today (or in this or any moment) to create and express KINDNESS. 

Sadly I continue to experience the tricky person in my life behaving in hurtful and angry ways. Rather than being a victim of such behaviour I am finding it helpful to remember.......

• This person is giving me opportunities to practice kindness and to set appropriate boundaries. 
• To accept and work kindly with my own feelings and be kind to myself too.
• It is often difficult to be kind to those who are behaving unkindlytoward us. It is also difficult to not take things personally! As I said last blog I find it useful to remember what Thich Nhat Hanh says 'When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help'. And our kindness too, which may include setting boundaries to protect both ourselves and them!
• An anonymous quote I came across recently - You never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how happy someone looks, how loud their laugh or how big their smile, there can always be a level of indescribable hurt. Often things are far more complex and deep than what they appear. So, be kind, even when others are not. (able to be)!
• As I said I often assume I know what is going on with others - this quick judgement is not helpful. As my friend Ali told me many years ago 'When we ASSUME - I make an ASS of U and ME'.  So...
• Watch  out for judgment. I am sometimes very quick to judge myself and others - it seems to happen automatically like when I slap a label on someone just based on how they look. Rather than judge myself for this human tendency I am trying to remember that truism 'don't judge a book by it's cover' and keep my heart and mind open and curious! And have a laugh at my 'funny mind'!
• Avoid judging myself when judgemental thoughts come up! Instead I am trying to work with kindness and curiosity to create more kindness. I often hear my wise self remind me - 'my funny mind, look what it's judging now, I have no need to judge myself or others!" 

Some simple and outrageous things I have been doing to BE KIND and to be aware of JUDGEMENT of both myself and others include....... 

• Choosing to be kind in all sorts of small ways - compliments, deeds to help, texts, smiles, listening with a kind empathic ear. 
• And as the quote above reminds us - do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return. Remember you can always thank yourself when thanks appears to have gone missing!
• And choosing to be kind and compassionate in a strong way too.When someone is being hurtful sometimes the kindest thing we can say is - 'I am finding your behaviour hurtful and I need to leave now'. This boundary setting is an act of kindness for both them and yourself.My friend Lorraine talks about boundaries as being like 'a yellow raincoat' that we put on so that hurtful comments can't stick to us. This reminds me to stay kind and not take things so personally! 
• Listening with an understanding, empathetic ear, (remember to include yourself too!)
• Be the change I want to see - A positive, kind force in the world

And a repeat form last week -I am also remembering to include myself in this practice - allowing and accepting my feelings without judgment and tuning into that wise, kind, encouraging and loving voice - the wise self, for guidance. It has been telling me that

• 'I am Loved, Appreciated and Worthy!' It's the truth and the LAW!  
• We've got this! 
• Choose to be kind each and every day, to everyone, including yourself too too!

Wishing you all much happiness, love and joy. Have fun creating what you truly desire 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​

I am continuing to enjoy CREATING more peace, fun, simplicity and love in my life. Recently I had the joy in sharing the February birthday celebrations at the Womens' Development Shelter in Sri Lanka via a video call! Tenzin Lekdron in Bendigo, Tikiri and the women in Sri Lanka and myself and Ian by the side of the road en route to Dimboola!

You can see the girls together with their January and February Birthday cakes above (it is the same recipe my friend Vicky gave me over 30 years ago now - it is her Aunt Roz's recipe!) Tenzin Lekdron and I started this tradition at the shelter a few years ago now! Roz's chocolate cake is made by the 'birthday club cooks' and all that month's birthdays are celebrated. And this year I was so happy to be a part of the celebrations. I did not expect my phone to work as were between towns in the Wimmera, but magically it all worked. It was so wonderful to connect with these amazing women. My husband was keen to show them the Australian bush and a kangaroo.  When we could not find one, he did an excellent impersonation, much to everyone's amusement. The girls asked me to express my thanks to you all for your wonderful support of their education, training and counselling.
If you need any pressies remember our POM products shop here on the website. Please email us if you would like to order some and we will put them in the post. 
Apologies for a non-functioning POM email address of late and for not responding to emails sent here. It is working now :)

Let's continue to CREATE peace, love and joy in the world!
Take care of yourselves and others.
Much thanks and love to you all
 
Maree and Sue xx ​

I am looking forward to more 'CREATING' fun, this fortnight. My wise inner guide and I (my indivisible truly wise and truly human selves) have been focusing on creating more JOY. We have had lots of fun in Dimboola kayaking, swimming, dancing the Nutbush at the pub, doing zoom yoga at the camp ground and taking a slow jog by the river!  How outrageous! I feel so GRATEFUL for my wise internal guide, myself, my amazing life and all those in it, including those I don't even know who make it possible. Thank you all!
 
Taking this CREATING approach to life requires me to check in with my wise self or internal guide often to ask what simple or outrageous things I can do to create more of what my heart truly desires! - both for myself and others. So going into the heart and asking those questions again and again!

In addition to creating JOY my focus this coming fortnight is on opening my heart and creatively expressing LOVE more freely. I have had the opportunity to do this with a tricky person in my life, who appears to me to be behaving in a hurtful and angry way!

Fortunately I know I have a choice regarding how I respond to this tricky person. I can choose to to react from fear creating more anger and hurt or I can choose to respond from love and create compassion, empathy, joy and courage. I need to remember to accept and work kindly with my own feelings of sadness and anger too!  When I can love and have compassion and empathy for both myself and my so called tricky person or enemy, they are no longer an enemy. As Lama Marut would say disappear your enemies by loving them.

It is sometimes difficult to open our hearts to respond with love when someone is behaving in a destructive way. Often others are in such a difficult spot themselves that they cannot access their own love for themselves and others and hence behave in these harmful ways. I find it useful to remember what Thich Nhat Hanh says 'When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help'. And our compassion and love!

So, I doing my best to love my tricky person. I am accepting the anger and sadness they are triggering in me and I am checking in with my wise self and doing simple and outrageous things to bring  love and compassion to us both. 

So, checking in with our wise selves to ask those 2 helpful questions....... 
 
1.  What do I TRULY want to create? Peace, simplicity, freedom, joy and LOVE (my top pick this fortnight)

2.  What simple or outrageous thing can I do today (or in this or any moment) to create and express LOVE? 

Another thing I find it helpful to remember is - to not taking their behaviour personally and not give myself a hard time or them either! And Instead tell myself  'I have done nothing wrong, and I am loved' (& they have not done anything wrong either - they are suffering and it is spilling over!).

So often I make other's behaviour about me, when most often it has got nothing to do with me. I was reminded of this as I said 'good morning' to someone this morning and was met with an eye roll. Who knows what their  behaviour is about? (maybe more suffering spilling over). Our quote last week reminds me to keep living, loving, being truthful and fair (and smiling and saying good morning) despite what is happening around me!

Not every day is a good day
Live anyway 
Not all you love will (or can) love you back
Love anyway
Not everyone will tell you the truth 
Be honest anyway
Not all deals are fair
Play fair anyway 
Anon

It is a very powerful practice. Some simple and outrageous things I have been doing to LOVE ANYWAY include....... 

• Verbally or textually expressing my love and thanks 
• Doing Tong Len (sending them love with my mind) Sometimes my verbal expression of love appears to distress this particular loved one, so I am doing more subtle mind practices like Tong Len and sending them love, compassion and joy with my mind 
• Listening with an understanding, empathetic ear 
• Sending small gifts, like a pot plant, favourite foods etc.
• GRATITUDE - expressing it often! LOTS of THANK YOU's
• Taking them on drives and outings 
• Sending them postcards and letters! 
• Give compliments 
• Be the change I want to see - A positive, kind force in the world

I am also remembering to include myself in this practice - allowing and accepting my feelings without judgment and tuning into that wise kind, encouraging and loving voice - the wise self for guidance. It has been telling me that 'I am Loved, Appreciated and Worthy!' It's the truth and the LAW!

Wishing you all much happiness, love and joy. Have fun creating what you truly desire 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​

Last blog I mentioned I had been getting reminders regarding wise self-care from sloths! This may sound very strange but stay with me as I share my Sloth story. A couple of weeks ago I was doing some preparation for a class I teach fortnightly.  I came across the timely ‘self-care, intuitive listening to your body’s needs’ material by Meggan Watterson. As you know I have been sharing this helpful practice in recent blogs. 
 
Meggan was referencing Sloth as one of the so called ‘seven deadly sins in Christianity’. She said the ‘seven deadly sins’ can be more helpfully thought of as the ‘Seven Powers of the Ego’. She refers to them as the 'seven ingredients of what goes into being human, which reads like a food label for the ego'. Meggan’s more helpful spin on these 7 are ...........

1.  Darkness
2. Craving
3. Ignorance
4. Excess (Gluttony in the original list) 
5. Forgetting we are just this body (Lust in the original list)
6. Denying the wisdom of the body  (Sloth in the original list). Where we are ignoring the ultimate wisdom of the body?. Hence my 'tuning into the wise intuitive body for what my body needs in any moment', enthusiasm. 
7.  The compulsion of Rage 

Having an ego is as important as having a soul, and having a healthy ego is crucial. These 'Seven Powers of the Ego' are much like the mental afflictions (anything that disturbs your mind) in Buddhism. (Don't you love a Buddhist list! I do!). The root 5 mental afflictions or Kleishas are……. 

1. Ignorance
2. Desire 
3. Anger 
4. Pride 
5. Jealousy

These can be thought of as unhelpful habits of mind that can be overcome. It is significant to be aware of these egoic powers or mental afflictions and when they hold us captive, or are shouting so loud from one shoulder that we cannot hear the wise voice on the other.

Discernment is key, awareness of these habits allows us to practice tuning into the ultimate power of our wise soul, our 'best friend self' to ask my favourite simple question - what does my body and mind need in this moment? 

Also, in Buddhism there are what are called meditation obstacles, or things that can be hindrances to our ability to meditate! These include slothfulness! The others are desire, ill-will, restlessness and remorse and sceptical doubt. 
 
So Sloths abound!  However, I think that maybe they have been somewhat misrepresented and misunderstood. Ironically, I had many reminders of this coming up. I thought the references to Sloths was very interesting and wanted to learn more about them. 
 
Amazingly the next day I was on my way to the Post Office to post ‘covid care’ packages to my kids. A couple of years ago my friend Wendy had given a lovely little wise book by Sarah Ford entitled ‘Be a Llama and Stay a Little Calmer’. It had lots of funny illustrations and wise advice for me. There were other books in the series including, 'Be a Unicorn and live life on the bright side".  I had been enjoying getting these from our local bookshop and sending them to others, including my kids. 
 
I was one book short, so on my way to the Post Office and I rang Jeffery's Booksvto get a copy of the Llama book. Beth informed me they were out of stock and only had one Sarah Ford book entitled ‘Be a Sloth and when in doubt just chill Out’! No kidding I was so amazed, I had no idea that there was a Sloth book in the series. Clearly, I needed to read it. 
 
Then another crazy thing happened. While waiting in the Post Office cue staring at me was an A4 notebook with a picture of a sloth with the title ‘Sloth Lover’s Club'. How funny! Again, clearly, I must have something to learn from Sloths! I purchased the notebook and have been enjoying using it ever since! I have learnt so much from Sarah Ford’s series of books. In particular I think the Sloth book and the ‘Be a Llama and Stay a little Calmer’ book were both written for me. The final Sloth reminder in this saga came in the form of "Sloth Yoga Calendar I was gifted from my friend Lorraine. 
 
So some things I have learnt and am doing my best to practice from Sarah Ford's little "Be a Sloth and when in doubt, just chill out' book and my other sloth sources are to ........

The final Sloth reminder in this saga came in the form of an hilarious and wise 'Sloth Yoga Calendar' I was gifted from my friend Lorraine. 
 
So some things I have learnt and am doing my best to practice from Sarah Ford's little "Be a Sloth and when in doubt, just chill out' boo'k and my other sloth sources are to ........
  
To Slow down, calm down, don't worry and don't hurry
 
1.  Best foot forward....Slow, Sure and Fearless.

2.  Listen to others then make up your own mind

3.  Things will aways seem better in the morning after a sleep

4.  Don't let anything go to waste - Reduce, Recycle, Repair.

5.  Be kind to the environment and equally, be kind to yourself and others too. 

5.  Take life at your own pace - Live life in the slow lane
The Covid Mottos I have been saying to myself include.........
'No Rushing' (thanks for the reminder Neil)
'You have plenty of time' 
'One thing at a time' (thanks Kate P). I am doing my best to remember not to attempt to fit in lots of events into one day. When I forget to do this I find myself rushing around and not able to be fully present for any of them!

6. No more busyness or striving
Instead be plentiful with activity that is  joyful and kind. (thanks for the reminder Monique) And remember to take a well eared REST AND RELAX to maintain your joyful activity! 
In the words of Sarah Ford 'Sloth believes in enjoying the now and embracing whatever the future brings (after a little nap)

7.  Be true to yourself! 
As my favourite quote from Sarah Ford says 'Sloth is always true to himself. He doesn't do exercise (because that is not what his body needs) but he does look after himself - he eats well, sleeps well and is tune with his mind and his body(tunes in an listens to his wise best friend self for what he needs in any moment) in all its hairy entirety.  
Work with kindness and curiosity around helpful self-care habits using ……..

My favourite ABC practice to tune into the body’s or mind's needs in any moment 

1. Awareness (of the habit)
2. Breathe 
3. Connect with the wise self by going down to the heart and asking ‘What does my body/mind need in this moment?

8.  Don't Worry
If you can do something about a situation - do it and don't worry 
And if you can't do anything about it - don't do anything and don't worry! 
​

Gratitude and discernment (what to give up and what to take up, in Buddhist lingo) are my two favourite and main practices these days. Of late, I have been on an interesting excursion with discernment regarding tuning into what my body and mind need in any moment. This discernment for me has been about learning to ‘take up’ - listening to my wise, intuitive ‘best friend’ self for what I need in any moment (the wise one my left shoulder) and what to ‘give-up’ – listening to the punitive, critical task master, (the one on my right shoulder). 
 
As you know in the last couple of blogs I have been exploring this in terms of the body’s basic self-care needs for nutrition, balanced activity and rest. In yoga the energy centre related to our basic self-care needs is the base or Muladhara Chakra or energy centre. The idea is that by taking care of our basic needs for nutrition, balanced non-harmful activity and rest we have a firm base of support, a full tank or a grounded foundation so we can be of benefit to others and have plenty to share. I am not able to be of benefit to anyone if I am tired, malnourished, busy or stressed. 
 
So, with the help of some wise advice from ……….

• Megan Watterson about tuning into and listening to the intuitive needs of the body in any moment. 
• Sarah Ford’s little book ‘Be a Sloth and When in Doubt Just Chill Out’. “Sloth is always true to himself. He doesn’t do exercise (because that is not what his body needs), But he does look after himself – he eats well, sleeps well and is in tune with his mind and his body in all its hairy entirety. 
• Lama Marut – ‘The purpose of a spiritual life (and balanced self-care) is not to become better THAN others, but to learn how to be better FOR others’ 

I have been working with kindness and curiosity around helpful self-care habits using ……..

My favourite ABC practice to tune into the body’s needs

1. Awareness (of the habit)
2. Breathe 
3. Connect with the wise self by going down to the heart and asking ‘What does my body need in this moment?

Developing awareness, and working with kindness and curiosity is key. Curiosity is the door that leads to compassion. It prevents judgment and justification and allows us to be present to what needs to be heard.  
 
So, in this blog I wanted to share some times this fortnight I have remembered to tune into my wise best friend.  In our next blog I will tell you about some times I forgot and I learned that, when I don’t listen to my wise intuitive body sometimes it teaches me a necessary truth (just like a Best Friend would). 

It is important to remember to work with our habits, wants and needs with kindness and curiosity. Habits like ………

• Soldiering on when tired or injured when treatment or rest is what is required.
• Being busy and stressed when mindful, paced activity is best
• Eating junk food, snacking or eating too much, when a balanced heathy diet is what the body needs 
• Striving to achieve some physical goal when working with the body and its’ capabilities is what is needed
• Lying on the couch when activity or movement is what the body needs 

 
As I am learning explore my wants and needs with this awareness and curiosity, I am more able to be aware to tune into my body for what is needed rather than be bossed around by the tricky task master who is so often punitive and demanding with its wants.  And, as we will explore next blog, if I ignore the body's wisdom it will teach me a necessary truth, just like a best friend would!
 
As I am continuing to learn, it takes practice to get used to tune into and listen to that best friend who is always has our best interests at heart. So, no need to be punitive, or for blame, or to be judgmental or give ourselves a hard time when we forget.

I am learning to listen to my kind encouraging best friend for guidance. Last blog I explored my morning coffee habit as an example of being aware of my, often unconscious coffee habit and tuning into my body and listening for what it needs, rather than being driven by the unconscious habit of the ego. This fortnight I have been using curiosity to play with my snacking habit. 
 
My snacking habit.

1. Awareness (of the habit)

I often snack particularly when I am studying or cooking. This is mostly unconscious and often not what my body needs. So, step one AWARENESS of the habit of snacking.

1. Breathe 
2. Connect with the wise self by going down to the heart and asking ‘What does my body need in this moment? (again and again) 

Last week I was on working on my computer preparing for a class I teach. I had had breakfast and a coffee (yay, remembered to tune into ask what my body needed). I had been working for a couple of hours when I stopped for lunch (yay, again tuned in and choose a good option). 
 
I returned back to work and was close to finished when I thought about having a cup of tea and a snack. I remembered there was a block of chocolate in the pantry. Again, I did my ABC and asked what my body needed. Yes, a cup of tea and a couple of pieces of chocolate was what was needed. A thought came to mind, ‘you could have more of that chocolate!’ Amazingly I remembered to ask again what my body needed – a break was the answer, so I took a 5 minute shavassana instead of eating the rest of the chocolate (which I could have easily done, and felt sick).
 
This for me is about awareness and discernment, learning to tune into my wise intuitive 'best friend' to direct a healthy choice of what is needed and best for me. So, no need for ‘punitive task master or fake friend’. This discernment or what to ‘take up’ or what to ‘give up’ as healthy habits that promote balanced self-care in order to be available for others, is a work in progress and a practice I am playing with, with curiosity. 
 
And I make lots of so-called mistakes (aka learning opportunities). There are plenty of times I don’t listen to the intuitive needs of my body and go with the unhelpful choice. And that is ok too, as a learner mistakes are necessary learning opportunities. My best friend self is always kind, encouraging and truthful. More about forgetting and learning next blog! 
 
As I said last blog, for me it is well worth the time and effort to tune into my wise, intuitive best friend self in any moment. It is an important way I can look after myself in order to be more available to connect and care for others.  
 
I am feeling very grateful for everything in my life and having finished this blog (with no snacking). I am now off to have some fun in the garden.  ​

​I have been continuing to do some exploration and experimenting around what it means to take better care of ourselves, with that motivation of doing so to be more available to do what is needed to be available for others.  I am continually reminded that if I do not do this and become tired and cranky I am no use or fun to be around for anyone, including me.
 
For me Helen Reddy’s ‘Best Friends’ song reminds how to take care of ourselves so wisely and practically. As I said last blog the words acknowledge for me, both the truly wise and also the uniquely human nature, we all have. 
 
I decided to explore some best friend characteristics and thought about the fact that sometimes a best friend will tell us a hard truth about what is best for us. This is often a painful truth that may be difficult to say and to hear. When our inner best friend/wise self is speaking it is always in our best interest.  Lama Marut uses the analogy of our wise best friend on the left shoulder and our egoic task master on the other. Often, we cannot hear what our best friend is suggesting because the task master is so loud and demanding. 
 
In my self-care exploration I came across some helpful advice from Meggan Watterson. It was about tuning into and listening to the intuitive needs of the body. Our body has lots of integrated wisdom and lots to teach us about self care we just need to develop the internal ears to listen. So instead of ignoring the ultimate wisdom of the body I have been playing with allowing for a living dialog with what my body needs in any moment.
 
I found a wonderful little book by Sarah Ford entitled ‘Be a Sloth and when in doubt, just chill out. I think it is written for me. I have learnt that sloths get a bad wrap and that I have a lot to learn from them. A quote from the book ‘Sloth is always true to himself. He doesn’t do exercise (because that is not what his body needs), but he does look after himself – he eats well, sleeps well and is tune with his mind and his body in all its hairy entirety.’ More about what we can learn from sloths next bog!
 
The difference between want and need for me is the difference between an egoic want and a best friend/wise self need.  Instead of imposing what I think I want or expect (ego talking), I am playing with turning up and listening to what my body needs. (wise/best friend). The body has lots to tell us about self care when we listen.  It is important to remember to work with kindness and curiosity with our habits – that’s what our best friend would do. So, no need to be punitive, or for blame, judgment and a hard time! 
 
This is a work in progress for me. But I am finding it fun – it begins with ……….
 

1.  Awareness of habits. 

For example, for many years I have been in the habit of having a strong cup of coffee (and a cigarette many years ago) first thing every morning. I am not saying there is anything wrong with this and that I should not have this morning coffee. (absolutes, like should and should not and never and always are egoic task master favourites). I have come to understand that it is for me a habit of the ego, I don’t question whether I need it that particular morning or not I just have it. Sometimes I feel this coffee is necessary to start me up, but, other times it is not what my body needs! And maybe something else could meet that ‘wake up’ need. 
 

1. Asking what my body needs in any moment. 

I have been using my favorite ABC practice to tune into the body’s needs

1. A -Aware (of wanting a cup of coffee)
2. Breathe 
3. Connect with the wise self by going down to the heart and asking ‘What do I need in this moment? Sometimes yes and sometimes no and sometimes something else.

 
I have been thinking about where and times I may ignore the ultimate wisdom of the body. Where I have been unconsciously harming myself. Times when I don’t tune in to ask my body “What do you need in this moment?  (no critical task master necessary – I am learning to tune into my body and its needs).  
We may ignore the ultimate wisdom of the body when we……..
 

• Eat too much or too little   
• Drink too much or too little
• Being restrictive with food choices or eating junk food in excess 
• Striving to achieve something and ignoring what the body needs i.e.
  • Pushing our body to get into a yoga pose, 
  • Pushing ourselves to achieve something - run a certain distance, or at a pace beyond what is comfortable or safe, push through with injury  

OR being inactive and being like ‘Norm’ on the couch!

• Get stuck in busy mode and unable to stop. I call this, ‘I will just finish this in order to relax’ mode. So tuning into my body and listening to it when it needs to rest and relax, rather than to be pushed to finish. 

                     OR being inactive when my body needs to be moving. 
 
 
When I am able to explore my wants and needs with awareness and curiosity, I am able to be aware to tune into my body for what is needed rather than be bossed around by the tricky task master who is so often punitive and demanding with its wants. It takes practice to get used to tuning into and listening to that best friend who is always on your side. For me it is well worth the time and effort. It is an important way I can look after myself in order to be more available to connect and care for others.  
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx

As many of you already know, I am somewhat of a ‘dag’ and enjoying becoming more embracing of my dagginess. A ‘dag’ is an Australian and New Zealand slang term. According to the Urban dictionary the term ‘dag’ can be used affectionately or insultingly. On the so- called insulting side it can be seen as unfashionable, lacking style, or uncool. But, according to the dictionary there are also ways the term can be seen as admirable. These include ‘having one’s own style, not caring for public opinion, being outrageous, being a source of friendly amusement, being original.’ So, I am embracing being friendly, and more comfortable with who I am, embracing my human imperfections, without needing to hide them or cover up being uncool! This daggy work in progress is so liberating, relaxing and much more fun.
 
Recently I was saddened by the death of a long-time favourite singer of mine, Helen Reddy. I play my old scratched ‘Best of Helen Reddy’ CD all the time. Ironically, three weeks prior to her death I had rung and spoke with Jim at ‘Quality Records’ regarding ordering another copy of my scratched CD. He told me he would get me one, but explained it may take some time! 
 
Jim rang back with what he said was some ‘spooky news’ – spooky good, I think! The CD had arrived from the US on the same day that Helen had passed away. While waiting for my CD I have been enjoying listening to her on Spotify. I came across a song of hers I had never heard before entitled ‘Best Friend’! The words of this song had a huge impact on me and I have been sharing the lyrics for the past few weeks. Thankfully for all concerned I have been saying them rather than singing them. There are a couple of u-tube versions online. One of them is particularly daggy – it is from the movie, Airport. It has Helen Reddy as a nun seated on a plane with her guitar, singing “Best Friend’. I LOVE IT!
 
Here are the lyrics……
Best Friend
Helen Reddy 
 
Would you take better care of yourself
Would you be kinder to yourself
Would you be more forgiving of your human imperfections
If you realized your best friend was yourself
 
Who is always with you everywhere
Who is on your side when others are unfair
And tell me, who will never let you down in any situation
Who will always see you get your share
 
 
And that's why I am a best friend to myself
And I take me out whenever I feel low
And I make my life as happy as a best friend would
I'm as nice to me as anyone I know
 
Here is the Best Friend u-tube link if you would like to have a listen. The words for me sum up being a ‘kind encouraging friend to yourself’ or ‘your own cheerleader’ as a friend reminded me the other day! This is something I have been learning to do and I have been banging on about in yoga and elsewhere for years! 
 
These words also acknowledge, for me, both the divine and uniquely human nature we all have. They help remind me to tune into my Wise self, Best Friend, Buddha Nature, Basic Goodness, Love, Divine Self, Soul, or Universal Wisdom (whatever you want to call that, beyond words part of us we all have equally) to help out that uniquely human aspect we also all have! This assists me to embrace my human imperfections with kindness, encouragement, (to give courage) curiosity, (a form of compassion), empathy and compassion, just like a best friend! As Brene Brown says 'imperfections are not inadequacies, they are reminders that we're all in this together'. 

Having finished this blog, I am ‘taking myself out’ for a walk in the sunshine now. 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx