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Last blog we explored the last of the things I find it helpful to to say 'no' to or at least try to minimize. The final point made related to 'things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes'. I made reference to the ten Buddhist precepts which Lama Marut helpfully refers to as the ten 'misdeeds' one should avoid and their positive opposites one should adopt. He says that these and similar ethical instructions from yogic and religious texts make up a universal code of behaviour. He also says that they give us a handbook for life, the rules of the game, that can allow us to avoid major undesirable future worries and create the causes for contentment and peace.
We can often resist these ethical guidelines because we don't like to be told what to do and what not to do! It really helps to understand why it is in our own best interest to apply these to the way we live our lives. In order to do this we need to understand the laws of karma or causality to know why it is important to practice these ethical instructions in order to create the lives we want. Put simply, karma or causality can be thought of 'what goes around comes around'. So, if we put positive deeds of body, speech and mind out in the world we will create the perception of seeing them come back to us. And the converse is also true, when we perform misdeeds these too will boomerang back to us. When we understand this we are more motivated to let these ten guidelines guide our behaviour to create the life we want. In the Buddhist list of ten, the first three relate to actions of the body. So lets look at the first of these this blog. I referred to the first of these ethical guidelines as 1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves)/practice kindness. Lama Marut more succinctly says 1. Don't kill/Protect and honour life This is all about practicing non-violence, not killing or physically harming others. Why? Because 'what comes around, goes around'. It refers to protecting all life, even that of small insects, pests and bugs. Lama Marut says when it comes to death, sickness or physical pain of any sort all living beings want to avoid it. So why would we want to harm others, our future selves and ourselves by doing what we all most fear - harm. So, if we want to feel protected and honoured in our own lives we need to practice protecting and honouring the lives of all living beings. I like to remember to include practicing non-harm to myself too. This means for me trying to remember to be a kind and encouraging to myself and to look after my health and well being, so I can be in good shape to be of benefit to others. It is not possible to live without causing harm because our very existence means we harm others, often without being conscious of it, like when we kill insects on the front of our cars on a road trip. What is important is our intention to practice non-harm, respecting and caring for the lives of others as best we can. In the Buddhist and Yogic texts the karmic correlations to practicing non-harm are outlined. Among the positive correlations are good health and longevity. So lets do our best to do as Lama Marut, the Daila Lama and Gandhi suggest and practice non-harm both for the welfare of others and our future selves. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
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 As I explored last blogs saying ‘no’ or at least doing our best to minimise can help us live a more intentional and meaningful lives and prevent us from being distracted from what is best for us. Joshua Becker puts this so well when he says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
So lets look at the last of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise!. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose' rather than distracted! 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the last two.... 9. Digital Clutter and notifications As we said last blog removing or reducing visual clutter or physical possessions helps us to be less distracted promoting a sense of peace, reducing our stress and making us more availability for the things that matter. Related though less of a burden is digital clutter. I find it really helpful to do a digital declutter every so often. Going through my computer and phone to remove unneeded emails, documents and messages, clearing up my desktop and unsubscribing from what is no longer relevant to me frees me up to concentrate on the things that matter. I like to be with who I am with and to concentrate on the job at hand without distractions. This is really hard these days as there seems to be an almost constant series of phone beeps, dings and vibrations. I do my best to try to avoid being distracted by my phone and put my attention where and when I am and with whom I am. If you see me distracted, I am happy for you to give me a reminder! 10. Things that do no align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Some time ago now I was introduced to the ten Buddhist Precepts. Much like the other tens, the ten commandments and the ten pillars of Islam, they are ethical guidelines which help us to align with our values. I have found them particularly useful reminders on how I want to be living my life. Here is how I understand them in their negative and positive forms. The first three relate to action of the BODY. They are........ 1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves) Practice kindness 2. Refrain from stealing Practice protecting others property 3. Refrain from disrespecting others relationships Practice respecting others relationships The next 4 relate to SPEECH 4. Refrain from harsh speech Practice gentle speech 5. Refrain from meaningless speech Practice meaningful speech 6. Refrain from speech that excludes others Practice inclusive speech 7. Refrain from untruthful speech Practice truthful speech The last three relate to the MIND 8. Refrain from being unhappy when others are happy Practice being happy for others that are happy (or 'pile on to their happiness', as Lama Marut says) 9. Refrain from being happy when others are not happy (have misfortune) Practice having compassion for others who are suffering 10. Refrain from incorrect world view Practice applying wisdom and taking responsibility. I find these great principles to live by. I do my best to uphold them and try not to give myself a hard time when I muck up. We are all practicing! I will spend some more time elaborating on these in the following blogs. Related here is staying true to ourselves and not agreeing to do something we feel uncomfortable about, just to please others. Sometimes 'no' is the kindest thing for all concerned if it doesn't feel right. We all have likes and dislikes and it's important to be able to authentically, kindly and appropriately express these free of judgment or wanting to be liked or approved of. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx As I said last blog saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. We need self compassion and courage to do so and this continues to be something I am learning to get better at. As Joshua Becker says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
Last blog we looked at three of a list of ten things I find helpful to say ‘no’ to or to at least do my best to minimise. As I mentioned these are things that are distractions for me from what would be best to be doing. Being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose'. Your list may look completely different to mine, depending on what values, priorities likes and dislikes are important to you. Here is the list of things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include.... 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the second three..... 4. Projects or opportunities I really don't understand Sometimes I agree to do things when I really don’t have an appreciation or understanding of what I am taking on. Taking the time to get clear on what you are agreeing so that you can take the time necessary to make an informed decision about whether you have the resources, energy and willingness to do it. And also, whether by doing it you are impacting negatively on our relationships with others. 5. Unhealthy habits Both our everyday and long time habits shape our lives. It is helpful to do a review of our habits and decide which are benefiting us and which are no longer serving us. So I do my best to keep fit with yoga, walks and slow plod like runs. I also try to get plenty of sleep. Early to bed and early to rise works well for me. I also try to do my best to eat well, although I have just eaten fish and chips for dinner! I also try to do as my mother encouraged me to do 'tidy up as you go". My spiritual practice, including a morning gratitude practice, is important so I try to make this a priority. This is a work in progress for me, awareness and self compassion are key. Remembering to check into my wise self for kind encouragement to look after myself and create healthy habits. 6. Too many words. Harmful speech. The amount we talk often depends on our personality and what work we are involved in. It's important to have awareness around the words we use and when we use them. It is a helpful to ask ourselves is our speech ......... - timely - necessary - kind and - true before we speak . Also helpful is 'Right Speech' in Buddhism. The 4 elements of 'right speech' are speech that is...... - kind - inclusive - meaningful - truthful Being careful about the words we use - selecting words with the above elements that lift others up, motivate and encourage them is important for meaningful connection. Not using or at least doing our best to minimise words that harm, divide, untruthful, or are meaningless and waste others time is well worth considering. So I think I have said more than enough! Thank you for reading. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx As I said last blog saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. We need self compassion and courage to do so and this continues to be something I am learning to get better at. As Joshua Becker says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
So lets look at the next two of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose' 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the next two.... 7. Negative self talk Being aware of our negative self talk curiously questioning its validity and checking in with our wise self for some kind encouraging words is a way to transform those limiting, untrue and unkind thoughts into more helpful, encouraging and truthful ones. Being aware when we are being our own harsh critic and when we are allowing fear, regret, blame, negativity, worry regarding the future or criticism to dominate our thinking is very helpful. With this awareness we can instead choose to tune into our wise selves to be reminded of some kind and encouraging thoughts to choose instead. This is certainly a continual and very worthwhile practice for me. 8. Possessions Collecting more and more possessions is one area I find very useful to say 'no' to or at least reduce. I am very fortunate to have more than enough of what I need and so I try to resist the temptation to collect more shoes, clothes, books etc. I have found it particularly helpful to actually get rid of stuff that I don't need. It's always a good reminder to go on holidays with just a suitcase worth of possessions to realise how living with what we need is doable and liberating. Lama Marut taught what he called the contentment mantra which was 'Om I have enough ah hum' This is a particularly useful thing to say to ourselves when we are tempted to buy more stuff. I find it very useful as I am walking down High Street and I see all the new clothes etc. in the shop windows. Joshua Becker in addition to taking about the benefits of minimising possession reminds us about reducing visual clutter and visual noise in our lives. He says 'visual noise is any random visual stimulus that draws our attention'. Visual clutter is all the things around us that distract us. As I type this I am looking at my desk which could certainly do with a visual declutter. Joshua says that minimising visual clutter can be as simple as putting things away when we have finished with them. I am reminded of my mother who always followed this rule, constantly reminding us to pick up after ourselves. Her house was always tidy and clutter free. I was very thankful of her minimalistic lifestyle when it came time to clear out her house. Again this is a work in progress for me, but certainly remains something I aspire to. Again on holidays with fewer things to keep track of, this was much easier. In addition Joshua says that this visual decluttering can be as complicated as keeping all the surfaces in our home clear of unneeded items. I love waking up to a clean kitchen with a clear bench. Maybe its time for another declutter of visual clutter in our home. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes ,to us all Maree xx Last blog we explored being aware when we are tipping into self-sacrifice and subsequent resentment. Maybe we have taken on too much, are not taking the time to rest or have placed unrealistic demands on ourselves. When we are aware of this happening it’s great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be reminded to care for ourselves as well as others.
We talked about self-compassion boundaries including, taking the time to pause and consider a request, to do a little stock take of our resources before committing, and resisting the urge to overcompensate! An important self-compassion boundary and a way we can look after ourselves, so we can be available for others, is to simple say ‘no’. A truism I like is, ‘no is a complete sentence, it does not require explanation or justification’. And another one is ‘sometimes saying ‘no’ is the bravest thing you can do’. I am a big people pleaser and have difficulty saying ‘no’ to a request. As a result, I can run myself ragged and forget to take care of myself! This often leaves me depleted and resentful. I am reminded to do as Brene Brown says and to ‘choose discomfort over resentment’. Saying ‘no’ to a request we cannot meet or resisting the urge to overcompensate or please can feel uncomfortable, but this temporary discomfort is far preferable to creating toxic resentment from doing something that we can’t or don’t want to do or overdoing! Saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. It’s important to be aware of when we are stretching ourselves too thin by saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’. As I said, I find it helpful to pause and do check in to my wise self for a little stocktake of my resources, including time and whether I am actually willing and able to do it. ‘Yes’ is often my kneejerk reactions whether someone requests something of me or not. Taking the time to pause, reflect and consider before jumping in with a response or action is helpful. Awareness is key. I often forget I don’t need to give a response straight away. I can give myself some time by saying ‘I need to think about it, I’ll get back to you.’ Having this awareness helps me to check in to ask ‘by saying ‘yes’ am I tipping into self-sacrifice and resentment?’ A great guide for me is when I notice I have lost the joy in doing something. Learning to say ‘no’, and having the courage to do so is a work in progress for me. Next blog we will look at some things I find helpful to often say ‘no’ to. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx  Last blogs we talked about self-compassion boundaries including, taking the time to pause and consider a request, to do a little stock take of our resources before committing, and resisting the urge to overcompensate!
We also looked the important self-compassion boundary of simple say ‘no' when we are under resourced or something does not fit in with our values. Saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. As I said learning to say ‘no’, and having the self compassion and courage to do so is a work in progress for me. In this blog and the next we will look at some things I find helpful to say ‘no’ to or to at least do my best to minimise. These are things that are distractions for me and being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose'. Your list may look completely different to mine, depending on what values, priorities likes and dislikes are important to you. It's great to be on holidays to be reminded of living minimally and the freedom associated with that. I managed to pack lightly and just take the things I thought I would need. That said I did pack my weaving loom and sourdough starter! So some things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include..... 1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. 3. Keeping up with social media and news 4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand 5. Unhealthy habits 6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs) 7. Negative self talk 8. Possessions - I have enough 9. Digital Clutter and notifications 10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes Let's look at the first three..... 1. Spending money on stuff, I don't need, free things and 'good deals'. Being aware of where I am spending money helps me to be mindful of whether I am using money in helpful ways or am I just buying stuff I I don't need. I don't need to be stingy, but rather simply ask myself whether I need that extra pair or shoes, another cake tin or gingham dress! As Joshua Becker says 'The less you need to own the less you need to spend'. Also saying 'no' to something I am offered that I don't need, like to change power companies, an upsized drink, or a chocolate bar with my petrol, saves unwanted distractions and frustration. 2. Too many social activities and entertainment. These days I rarely find myself overrun with social commitments. However I love to cath up with family and friends and can sometimes find myself agreeing to do things I'd rather not do, or don't have the time to do. I am a fairly introverted person so saying 'no' when I don't feel comfortable supports and looks after me. We all need a healthy dose of social and entertaining activities. But if we find these things taking over our lives and not nourishing us, we may find we are becoming distracted from other more meaningful opportunities and activities. 3. Keeping up with social media and news. This is a tricky one for us all. There are many advantages to social media however being aware of when it is becoming a distraction and disturbing our peace of mind is important. I try not to become distracted by social media these days. I was finding myself mindlessly consuming all the news, social and otherwise which was distracting me from what was important in my life. I greatly value personal connection through face to face contact, email, Skype and phone.I try to resist the urge to keep up with it all. That is one of the liberating things about being on holidays, having time to do things that nourish and promote my peace of mind. Things like to read, write, rest and get out in nature. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
I seem to be getting lots of reminders to not overdo things and to take time to care for and nurture myself as well as others. I can tend to be a bit of an ‘overdoer’ when it comes to giving, pleasing others and fulfilling requests made of me. I often tend to overcompensate by ‘overdoing’ to avoid the fear of being seen as selfish, lazy or stingy or to feel the discomfort of feeling that way. It’s like a continuum with selfish/stingy/lazy at one end and self-sacrificing/overgiving/overdoing at the other. Finding the middle where we are looking after our own needs and those of others, looks after us all.
I often stretch myself too thin and forget that I need to take good care of myself too. The truth is we need to remember to look after ourselves too and this is certainly not selfish, stingy or lazy. What good are we when we are depleted, running on empty or feeling resentful? When we do take the time to look after ourselves too, we have lots in reserve to be available for others. I often need reminding of some self-compassion boundaries to resist the tendency to overdo. Always say ‘yes’ or extending myself beyond what is reasonable is not helpful. I am seeing this in others too who appear to me depleted, overworked and overwhelmed. While we all know it is important to do our best and to be kind to everyone, but as I said I can forget to include myself and have unrealistic expectations and lack self-compassion boundaries. This often leaves me exhausted, stressed and resentful. I find it helpful to remember when I receive a request for help or feel the need to ‘overcompensate’ to check in with my wise self to be reminded to pause and consider am I acting from genuine kindness or am I at tipping point and heading toward overcompensating or self sacrifice. I am reminded to do a little stocktake of my resources and take time to decide what to do. Overcompensating, overgiving, and overdoing are often my kneejerk reactions whether someone requests something of me or not. Taking the time to pause, reflect and consider before jumping in with a response or action is helpful. Awareness is key. When I am aware that I am tempted to overcompensate to my own detriment, I have found it really useful to ask myself is “Am I tipping into self-sacrifice and subsequent resentment?” I have been journaling to increase my awareness of when I am doing this. Some examples from my journal include….
I can recommend taking the time to be aware of that tipping point and to tune in to your wise self for a reminder to put those self-compassion boundaries in place to look after yourself, so you have lots in reserve to be available for others. We’ll look at some more ways to make sure we include wise self-care in our caring, including saying ‘no’, over the next blogs. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
Last blog I shared the ‘What is this person or event reminding me?’ question that I ask myself when I have been triggered and want to respond in a more compassionate and less judgmental way, to both myself and others. It involves awareness around the emotion being triggered and resisting the temptation to suppress, feed or inappropriately express the emotion.
Then I ask myself this simple question: What is this person who is behaving dishonestly, for example, reminding me? My wise self tells me it is not nice for others or themselves when they behave this way, so honesty, truth and kindness are the way to go. I am then able to have compassion for them and for me and to genuinely thank them for reminding me to be honest, kind and truthful. This can be really tricky with strong emotions as I discovered the other week when I became angry over a manager’s accommodation booking bungle and subsequent refund refusal that I inappropriately expressed my anger in an outburst. I perceived the managers behaviour to be dishonest and manipulative and I told him so with an angry outburst of ‘you are behaving like a f****** arsehole!’ If I am honest I don’t recall if I remembered to label his behaviour and not him and may have said ‘you are a f******* arsehole! OMgoodness no time for doing any awareness or asking my wise self what this person was reminding me! When I calmed down, I was tempted to give myself a hard time over such an extreme reaction. However instead I tuned into my wise self to be reminded of a few things......
I learned this practice from Lama Marut many years ago now and find it an invaluable way to deal with things I regret doing, like telling someone they are a ‘f****** arsehole. This simple practice helps to make amends for something I have done and to clear my conscience. This is how I remember the four steps. 1. Refuge As I understand it, we take refuge in our understanding that we have done a misdeed and that it will have a subsequent consequence and weigh on our conscience. It is about taking responsibility for our actions and their results. 2. Regret Regret is the genuine feeling of wishing we hadn’t done or said that particular thing. While I still feel it was appropriate to be clear and assertive in this situation, I regret swearing at this person. 3. RestraintCan I restrain from doing this particular thing again? Make this realistic and doable. For how long and in what way can you restrain. In my case I thought, ‘yes, I can phone him back and restrain from swearing at him in an angry outburst’. 4. RecompenseThis is a little activity we think of that makes some amends for our action. It is completely up to us what we decide to do to make up. It can just involve you and your mind and doesn’t even need to be expressed or done to the other person. I decided to ring this person back and to apologize for swearing at him and to see if we could resolve things peacefully. He apologized too and we did negotiate a compromise. Recompense can involve forgiving the other person and forgiving ourselves too. Again, we can just do this mentally if that is what is best. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx I wanted to share a little thing I have been playing with that helps to reduce my tendency to be judgmental and increase my ability to be compassionate toward both myself and others.
It involves firstly becoming aware when a particular feeling has been triggered. Maybe you have been triggered by something someone has said or done and have had anger, irritation, jealously, hurt, or sadness come up. As we know the first step is to recognise the emotion that has been triggered and to accept and hold it lightly, resisting the urge to suppress it or to feed it with justification, blame or criticism. The emotion will naturally subside when not suppressed, fed or inappropriately expressed. Then we are free to check in with our wise selves for what we need to remember to do, think or let go of. This may include doing nothing at all . Something I have been reminded of when my negative emotions are triggered is to ask myself a simple question. I ask myself 'what is this person or event reminding me? Then I say to myself 'thank you for reminding me to be kind if I am perceiving unkindness, connected if I am perceiving distraction or patient if I am perceiving impatience.I have been finding this simple question very useful to reduce judgment and foster compassion. For example if I am perceiving someone's behaviour as impatient or rude ( I try to remember to seperate the behaviour from the person. So rather than think or say X is a rude person, I try to remember to think X is behaving rudely) It is a subtle but important distinction, that I often need reminding of. When I ask myself this simple question: What is this person who is behaving rudely remind me? My wise self tells me it is not nice for others or themselves when they behave this way, so patience and kindness is the way to go. I am then able to have compassion for them and for me and to genuinely thank them for reminding me to be kind and patient. Now I know this has the potential to be self righteous and judgmental and lacking in sincerity and compassion, like when we feel superior. However if we are able to be sincere in our response and to take responsibility for our part in the experience, like acknowledging that we may have behaved like this too, we are then able to feel compassion for the other person and ourselves too. Taking responsibility for past similar behaviour does not involve giving ourselves a hard time for creating this particular experience. It is no one's fault just a reminder to be thankful for. This can be really tricky to do with those strong negative emotions like anger, as I was reminded a couple of weeks ago when I really lost it in an angry outburst. Next blog I will talk more about this and some of the useful things to remember including to have compassion and forgiveness for others and ourselves, to remember we are human, to do our 4 forces conscious clearing exercise (I will outline these steps in the next blog) and explore more helpful ways to deal with strong emotions like anger. We can also do this "Thank you for reminding me' when we have positive emotions triggered too. Like when someone gives us a smile and it feels good. "Thank you for reminding me to smile'! It's great to remember to thank the person for their kind reminder out loud or in thought, whatever is appropriate. Again sincerity is needed. It is so easy for our funny minds to be sarcastic and judging with insincere thanks. It's great to be reminded to be kind, joyful, grateful or generous so lets give thanks to whoever and whatever reminds us! With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
I have had the privilege of being with both my parents during the final stages and end of their lives. I was grateful of the opportunity to share this time with them. Lama Marut taught some great advices to help with assisting those who are dying. I was very thankful to recall them during this time. I wanted this time to be about sharing stories, feelings, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude. However, sometimes things don’t quite go the way we want or expect. And sometimes all that is needed is to simply be there.
My Mother was a very pragmatic person who had had many hardships in her life and sadly few tools to deal with them. She was in her own words ‘black and white’ and was not one for fuss, flowers or fanfare. She made it quite clear that she did not want discuss her eminent death or to receive any expressions of gratitude. She was also reluctant to talk about past memories, even the good ones or to discuss forgiveness. I would get a ‘don’t give me that bullshit’ and an eye roll which told me that was not what she needed. So, instead I did my best to remain a steady peaceful, silent presence and making her physically comfortable where I could. She gave me strict guidelines regarding the family getting together in a farewell service. Initially she said I was to say nothing about her, just the Lord’s Prayer. Thankfully she reconsidered to allow one thing to be said about her and the Lord’s Prayer. I made the one thing about family and the fact that her life was meaningful because of what she considered her biggest achievement – her three children, who were good people and she was pleased with that. My Dad was less restrictive and I was thankful for many opportunities to share stories, love, forgiveness and gratitude with him. So Lama Marut’s advices as I understand them are in a nutshell they are………..
I was not able to verbalise these advices with my Mum as she did not want to discuss or hear such things. So, I did these three things as mental practices. I thought them to her, including doing a Tong Len practice - sending love and gratitude on the outbreath and removing suffering on the in-breath. When Mum could no longer talk, I was able to reassure her she had done her best and that we loved her and were all very thankful for what she had done for all of us. And that we would miss her, but because of what she had given us we would be ok. I didn’t carry on too much, as I knew she wouldn’t like that. We often do not get to be with loved ones when they are passing away, like when they are taken suddenly. However, we can do our best to practice these things mentally and with others at any time. We can in person or with our minds express our love and appreciation for others, we can forgive them and ourselves and we can be kind, often and lots. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx |
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