Creating Kindness Even When it is Tricky!

My wise inner guide and I (my truly wise guide and my truly human self, together)  have been focusing on more KINDNESS and being aware of judgement!
 
I am continuing to practice checking in with my wise self or internal guide often to ask what simple or outrageous things I can do to create more of what my heart truly desires! - both for myself and others. So going into the heart and asking those questions again and again!

1.  What do I TRULY want to create? Peace, simplicity, freedom, joy, love and KINDNESS (my top pick this fortnight)

2.  What simple or outrageous thing can I do today (or in this or any moment) to create and express KINDNESS. 

Sadly I continue to experience the tricky person in my life behaving in hurtful and angry ways. Rather than being a victim of such behaviour I am finding it helpful to remember.......

• This person is giving me opportunities to practice kindness and to set appropriate boundaries. 
• To accept and work kindly with my own feelings and be kind to myself too.
• It is often difficult to be kind to those who are behaving unkindlytoward us. It is also difficult to not take things personally! As I said last blog I find it useful to remember what Thich Nhat Hanh says 'When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help'. And our kindness too, which may include setting boundaries to protect both ourselves and them!
• An anonymous quote I came across recently - You never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how happy someone looks, how loud their laugh or how big their smile, there can always be a level of indescribable hurt. Often things are far more complex and deep than what they appear. So, be kind, even when others are not. (able to be)!
• As I said I often assume I know what is going on with others - this quick judgement is not helpful. As my friend Ali told me many years ago 'When we ASSUME - I make an ASS of U and ME'.  So...
• Watch  out for judgment. I am sometimes very quick to judge myself and others - it seems to happen automatically like when I slap a label on someone just based on how they look. Rather than judge myself for this human tendency I am trying to remember that truism 'don't judge a book by it's cover' and keep my heart and mind open and curious! And have a laugh at my 'funny mind'!
• Avoid judging myself when judgemental thoughts come up! Instead I am trying to work with kindness and curiosity to create more kindness. I often hear my wise self remind me - 'my funny mind, look what it's judging now, I have no need to judge myself or others!" 

Some simple and outrageous things I have been doing to BE KIND and to be aware of JUDGEMENT of both myself and others include....... 

• Choosing to be kind in all sorts of small ways - compliments, deeds to help, texts, smiles, listening with a kind empathic ear. 
• And as the quote above reminds us - do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return. Remember you can always thank yourself when thanks appears to have gone missing!
• And choosing to be kind and compassionate in a strong way too.When someone is being hurtful sometimes the kindest thing we can say is - 'I am finding your behaviour hurtful and I need to leave now'. This boundary setting is an act of kindness for both them and yourself.My friend Lorraine talks about boundaries as being like 'a yellow raincoat' that we put on so that hurtful comments can't stick to us. This reminds me to stay kind and not take things so personally! 
• Listening with an understanding, empathetic ear, (remember to include yourself too!)
• Be the change I want to see - A positive, kind force in the world

And a repeat form last week -I am also remembering to include myself in this practice - allowing and accepting my feelings without judgment and tuning into that wise, kind, encouraging and loving voice - the wise self, for guidance. It has been telling me that

• 'I am Loved, Appreciated and Worthy!' It's the truth and the LAW!  
• We've got this! 
• Choose to be kind each and every day, to everyone, including yourself too too!

Wishing you all much happiness, love and joy. Have fun creating what you truly desire 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
​