Don't Give Up, But Do Let Go

How do we prevent January enthusiasm for our New Year's resolutions from waning? These past blogs have explored some unhelpful habits that may sabotage us in our resolutions to be a more positive force in the world and keep our resolutions. So far we have explored...

• Choosing too many things to work on or include 

Hence my decision to focus on gratitude, while still being  aware of the other things I want to be mindful of including, kindness to myself and others, simplifying my life, and balancing activity and rest. 

•  Forgetting 

We explored some ways to remember to be awake and mindful, especially in relation to being grateful.

• Self judgement, criticism and negativity 

Last blog we explored powering up that positive, kind and encouraging friend to keep us motivated and believing it is possible to make positive lasting change. And being aware of that negative bias, and instead choosing to be grateful instead of letting  the habit of negativity and resentfulness take over..

I have been contemplating last weeks blog related to powering up that positive, kind, encouraging friend and Pema Chodron's wise words
'Never give up on yourself, Then you will never give up on others'. 
I have a tendency to want to give up or run away when things get tough or I fail to reach perfection or so called success. This is giving up on myself!

So, what is helpful to remember here?  To instead, power up that kind, positive encouraging friend to overcome this negativity and get some help in learning how not to bolt! As Pema also says

"Let difficulty transform you. And it will. In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away.

and 

'As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never lean about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion.'


So, with these wise words reminding me not to give up, I am ready to do what needs to be done and then let go. What am I letting go of? I am letting go of the need to force, to struggle and the need to be in control to make things happen.   I am being mindful to let go of some unhelpful ways of thinking including ...

• Tying to control or micromanage things
• Rejecting or attempting to push away or suppress feeling or situations I find uncomfy 
• Grasping to try to hold onto things or prevent change
• Expectation. Instead of having unreal expectations of myself, others, or situations  doing my best to anticipate the best and accept what happens, with gratitude!

So not giving up on myself or others and instead accepting whatever comes up, which involves letting go and allowing it to be different from what I expect.  Responding from that kind, wise spot that knows the truth, doing what needs to be done and then letting go of expectation of outcome.  Again as Pema Chodron reminds us...

'At some point, we need to stop identifying with our weaknesses and shift our allegiance to our basic goodness'

And something that I have been saying to myself...

Don't Give Up, But Do Let Go! 

This reminds me that a daily gratitude practice, including gratitude to ourselves, has many benefits to our happiness and peace of mind and is well worth working on.
We will explore some more of the obstacles that may hinder establishing and maintaining resolutions or goals over the next few blogs.

Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, 
Maree xx ​