Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

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​Do you ever feel a need to defend yourself or your position or cover up a mistake to 'save face'? I do when I forget to not take myself so seriously. 
It really helps when I remember to not take myself so seriously when unwanted things happen or are said. When these things happen it is like a 'criticism', 'have a go' or 'embarrassed' button is pushed in me, and I often feel the need to defend myself and take myself way too seriously. It really helps when I can do as Halle Berry suggests 'Don't take yourself too seriously. Know when to laugh at yourself and find a way to laugh at obstacles that inevitably present themselves'. 

Recently we were out to dinner and a friend shared this same helpful advice. Her partner is a playful, friendly character who is always ready to have a laugh. My friend has a very responsible management job and her partner was joking around about it. Instead of becoming defensive and assuming an intention to have a go, she instead joined in on the fun. Later she whispered these helpful words to me - 'He reminds me to not take myself too seriously. If I did my relationships and my job would be much harder and no fun.' 

Balance is important here to prevent misunderstanding. Not taking oneself too seriously is not about...

• Putting down others or ourselves 
• Allowing others to be disrespectful to us
• Being irresponsible, as Alex Trebek says 'take your job seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously'

As we explored last week low self confidence and pride are two sides of the same coin. They both involve concern about myself! Low self confidence is when I see myself as lacking or less than others and pride is when I see myself as better than others.  So, given that both are untrue, unhelpful ways to think and certainly not happiness or confidence building, how do I balance things out here? One thing that really helps me is to remember 

• I am doing my best to be better for others rather than better than others
• To say 'that can happen' to myself  
• One way I can be better for others is to not take myself so seriously 

When I can remember this I can get that 'better than others, prideful' or the 'less than others, low self-confident' ego out of the way to have a laugh. I can then..

• Drop the judgment of myself and others - we all make mistakes and are doing our best with what we know at the time
• Have more realistic expectations of myself and others  
• Assume a positive intention on the part of the other person  - this really helps me to avoid playing the blame victim game
• Know when to laugh at myself 
• Discover ways to laugh at the inevitable mishaps 

Like us all I have had many potentially embarrassing, critical or funny things happen in my life. Things like being in the wrong place at the wrong time, travel mishaps, falling flat on my face, anatomical and left right confusion in teaching yoga, baking mishaps, and falling off the pilates bed.  Knowing I have a choice in how I respond to such situations is so liberating. When I can remember to not taking myself so seriously the ego can take a back seat and I can enjoy a laugh.

And I have had plenty of amazing things go seemingly right too. Things like passing exams, getting  the job I wanted, having a family and getting POM up and running. But, I don't want to get this out of balance either - again remembering to be better for others, rather than better than others and to not take myself too seriously really helps me with equanimity. It is important to enjoy our successes in being the best we can for others and equally important to rejoice in the success of others too. 

You may want to have a play with taking yourself a little less seriously. I have found it fun to reframe embarrassment and negativity with a laugh. 


Have a great week. Thank you all  
Kind Regards and Best Wishes 
Maree xx ​