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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


​

Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

7/17/2017

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Click on the image for the Timetable and Workshop page
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Click on the image for the Timetable and Workshop page
​Do you ever feel a need to defend yourself or your position or cover up a mistake to 'save face'? I do when I forget to not take myself so seriously. 
It really helps when I remember to not take myself so seriously when unwanted things happen or are said. When these things happen it is like a 'criticism', 'have a go' or 'embarrassed' button is pushed in me, and I often feel the need to defend myself and take myself way too seriously. It really helps when I can do as Halle Berry suggests 'Don't take yourself too seriously. Know when to laugh at yourself and find a way to laugh at obstacles that inevitably present themselves'. 

Recently we were out to dinner and a friend shared this same helpful advice. Her partner is a playful, friendly character who is always ready to have a laugh. My friend has a very responsible management job and her partner was joking around about it. Instead of becoming defensive and assuming an intention to have a go, she instead joined in on the fun. Later she whispered these helpful words to me - 'He reminds me to not take myself too seriously. If I did my relationships and my job would be much harder and no fun.' 

Balance is important here to prevent misunderstanding. Not taking oneself too seriously is not about...
  • Putting down others or ourselves 
  • Allowing others to be disrespectful to us
  • Being irresponsible, as Alex Trebek says 'take your job seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously'
As we explored last week low self confidence and pride are two sides of the same coin. They both involve concern about myself! Low self confidence is when I see myself as lacking or less than others and pride is when I see myself as better than others.  So, given that both are untrue, unhelpful ways to think and certainly not happiness or confidence building, how do I balance things out here? One thing that really helps me is to remember 
  • I am doing my best to be better for others rather than better than others
  • To say 'that can happen' to myself  
  • One way I can be better for others is to not take myself so seriously 
When I can remember this I can get that 'better than others, prideful' or the 'less than others, low self-confident' ego out of the way to have a laugh. I can then..
  • Drop the judgment of myself and others - we all make mistakes and are doing our best with what we know at the time
  • Have more realistic expectations of myself and others  
  • Assume a positive intention on the part of the other person  - this really helps me to avoid playing the blame victim game
  • Know when to laugh at myself 
  • Discover ways to laugh at the inevitable mishaps 
Like us all I have had many potentially embarrassing, critical or funny things happen in my life. Things like being in the wrong place at the wrong time, travel mishaps, falling flat on my face, anatomical and left right confusion in teaching yoga, baking mishaps, and falling off the pilates bed.  Knowing I have a choice in how I respond to such situations is so liberating. When I can remember to not taking myself so seriously the ego can take a back seat and I can enjoy a laugh.

And I have had plenty of amazing things go seemingly right too. Things like passing exams, getting  the job I wanted, having a family and getting POM up and running. But, I don't want to get this out of balance either - again remembering to be better for others, rather than better than others and to not take myself too seriously really helps me with equanimity. It is important to enjoy our successes in being the best we can for others and equally important to rejoice in the success of others too. 

You may want to have a play with taking yourself a little less seriously. I have found it fun to reframe embarrassment and negativity with a laugh. 


Have a great week. Thank you all  
Kind Regards and Best Wishes 
Maree xx ​
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