As I said last blog my focus has been on allowing and accepting all the feelings that are popping up. And acknowledge which part of me is experiencing them and needs my love. I love the quote by Kim McMillan which reminds me do just this.
When I loved myself enough….. I learned to ask ‘who in me is feeling this way?’ When I feel anxious, angry, restless and sad. If I listen patiently, I discover who needs my love. Would you believe the other day I opened Kim’s small book to discover another quote that was so apt for how I was feeling. It read…… When I loved myself enough……. I could remember, during times of confusion, struggle or grief that those too are a part of me and deserve my love. So, these times of uncertainty, loss, confusion and struggle are an opportunity to explore internally, with curiosity and compassion. It is so tempting to push down these feeling and to look for something to fill the gap that loss leaves and miss the opportunity. The anonymous quote below has helped me to stop, trust and wait during these times! This is something I find tricky to do as I am so tempted to dive head first into my next care taking project. So instead I trying to remember to….. Trust and wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible I am trying to remember to keep checking in with my wise self often for what to do, what I need in any moment and what I want to create more of in my life. This connection is so important and well wort the time and effort to strengthen and trust. I am grateful for this internal guide and also my external guides and all the wonderful guidance, support and love they give me. Heartfelt thanks to you all. Loss is a timely reminder of the finality and uncertainty of life, that time runs out and to focus on what is important and what has meaning. It is up to each of us to find our own meaning. Loss is an opportunity to explore this internally and not be tempted to miss this chance, by busyness. I am talking to myself here. Before losing both my parents, relatively recently I didn’t realize just what it means and how deep emotions can run. As my friend Shadi reminded me this is a lifelong connection and when it’s gone it is not replaceable. That said, I feel very fortunate indeed to have many valuable resources both internally and externally to help me through this time of loss. I now understand how important it is to be present, conscious, connected to and supportive of both others who have lost people close to them and ourselves. Many times, I have not known what to do or say to others who have experienced loss. I still often don’t really! A card I received from my friend Pip expresses it beautifully. It reads – ‘wrapping you in love at a time when words fall short.’ So, while I am tempted to give myself a hard time for often being busy and unavailable to others and myself during times of loss, I am moving forward to try to remember to be more present connected and available and more accepting and appreciative of the kindness of others. I am trying to remember to take time to be available for both others and myself! Time to share special moments and memories and be grateful for everyday and the little things. I can remember nearly 30 years ago now when our twin boys were born very prematurely and had a huge struggle to remain alive, I made a promise to myself to never take them for granted. I’d like to be mindful to remember this goes for everyone and everything. So instead of being tempted to jump right back into things and make myself busy I am taking this time to…..
My husband and I are flying to NSW today (not Sydney – phew) today. Who knows where we will end up, who knows we might get to Queensland. I am grateful for this break and I will be doing my best to remember to keep these 6 points in mind. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
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