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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Even More Things I Find Helpful to Say No to or to at Least Minimise!

9/4/2022

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As I said last blog saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. We need self compassion and courage to do so and this continues to be something I am learning to get better at. As Joshua Becker says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
 

So lets look at the next two of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose'

1.  Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 
2.  Too many social activities and entertainment. 
3.  Keeping up with social media and news
4.  Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand
5.  Unhealthy habits 
6.  Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs)
7.  Negative self talk
8.  Possessions - I have enough 
9.  Digital Clutter and notifications
10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes

Let's look at the next two....

7. Negative self talk
Being aware of our negative self talk curiously questioning its validity and checking in with our wise self for some kind encouraging words is a way to transform those limiting, untrue and unkind thoughts into more helpful, encouraging and truthful ones.
Being aware when we are being our own harsh critic and when we are allowing fear, regret, blame, negativity, worry regarding the future or criticism to dominate our thinking is very helpful. With this awareness we can instead choose to tune into our wise selves to be reminded of some kind and encouraging thoughts to choose instead. This is certainly a continual and very worthwhile practice for me. 

8.  Possessions
Collecting more and more possessions is one area I find very useful to say 'no' to or at least reduce. I am very fortunate to have more than enough of what I need and so I try to resist the temptation to collect more shoes, clothes, books etc. I have found it particularly helpful to actually get rid of stuff that I don't need. It's always a good reminder to go on holidays with just a suitcase worth of possessions to realise how living with what we need is doable and liberating.

Lama Marut taught what he called the contentment mantra which was 'Om I have enough ah hum' This is a particularly useful thing to say to ourselves when we are tempted to buy more stuff. I find it very useful as I am walking down High Street and I see all the new clothes etc. in the shop windows. 

Joshua Becker in addition to taking about the benefits of minimising possession reminds us about reducing visual clutter and visual noise in our lives. He says 'visual noise is any random visual stimulus that draws our attention'. Visual clutter is all the things around us that distract us. As I type this I am looking at my desk which could certainly do with a visual declutter.

Joshua says that minimising visual clutter can be as simple as putting things away when we have finished with them. I am reminded of my mother who always followed this rule, constantly reminding us to pick up after ourselves. Her house was always tidy and clutter free. I was very thankful of her minimalistic lifestyle when it came time to clear out her house. Again this is a work in progress for me, but certainly remains something I aspire to. Again on holidays with fewer things to keep track of, this was much easier. 
In addition Joshua says that this visual decluttering can be as complicated as keeping all the surfaces in our home clear of unneeded items. I love waking up to a clean kitchen with a clear bench. Maybe its time for another declutter of visual clutter in our home.  

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes ,to us all 
Maree xx

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