As I said last week, at times I can be attached to the way I think or expect things, people or events should or should not be, when clearly they are not that way! This causes me to suffer. Remembering this, choosing to let go of false expectation and instead accepting things as they and then acting with wisdom, is liberating.
So I had a 'letting go of attachment to things', opportunity when it became obvious our chickens Mabel and Myrtle had to find a new home. As I am sure you know I love those feathered friends and have so enjoyed having them. Their gardening efforts however were causing other family members some stress. So a compromise seemed necessary. Finding our chickens a new home provided an opportunity to let go of attachment to keeping them in our front garden and to practice radical acceptance!
So, what am I letting go of?
Radical acceptance does not mean we blame or criticise others or ourselves. So as tempted as I was to blame the chicken opposers, I remembered the Dalai Lama's wise words "When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot".
Radical Acceptance does not mean we deny our feelings. I felt really sad to be saying farewell to Mabel and Myrtle. It is important to acknowledge these feelings, but then let them pass, rather than let them go on and on, ruining peace of mind. Farewell is such a great word - as we part we wish the other to fare well! When I miss them I choose to think about them happy in their farm setting complete with chook house caravan!
Radical acceptance does not mean we give up, become complacent or apathetic. Once I accepted the situation, the chickens had to leave, it was time to act - to find them a new home!
I love these wise words from Eckhart Tolle
'Accept - then act.
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it and not against it ."
Radical Acceptance includes being kind to ourselves
Many of us may be facing huge challenges like sickness, loss of loved ones, harm and financial hardship. It can feel overwhelming at times so it may be best to start small and always with compassion and kindness to self and others.
Letting go is a continual process.
'It is like this now' is happening continually so we all get lots of practice in letting of of how we think it should and should not be.
So having done my best not to blame or criticise others or myself and accept the fact that the chickens had to leave, I decided on the best course of action - to find them a nice place to live. Thankfully, the relative's farm in Gippsland we were visiting over Easter provided the perfect home.
So we took them on a road trip to the farm and introduced them to the other chooks there. There were many more 'It is like this now' radical acceptance, letting go and wisest response situations to follow. The other chickens were not so happy about their new relatives and watching the pecking order process was not fun. So some letting go required to leave them to it and trust they would sort it out. All ended well and Mabel and Myrtle are now happily settled in their new home complete with caravan chook house.
Mabel and Myrtle were very popular with the passers by in our street and I was concerned their friends might worry about their where abouts. i left a note on our fence which read
"Dear friends of Mabel and Myrtle,
Mabel and Myrtle are on retreat at a farm in Gipplsland. They have joined 8 other chicken friends and are free ranging and gardening to their hearts delight. They have a very fancy caravan chicken house.
Thank you for your friendship"
That Easter weekend provided another letting go opportunity when I lost a favourite piece of jewellery - my Tara charm. I had just replaced the other Tara charm I lost recently, while we were in Nepal And now this new Nepalese Tara charm was somewhere in Gippsland! I decided to 'never let a good disaster go to waste' by choosing to let go and think that my Tara charm was up on the farm looking out for Mabel and Myrtle!
I will tell you about the wisdom on my mums fridge related to 'everything happens for a reason' next blog.
Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes,