Feeling down? An instant pick-me-up

Ever feel down and don't know what to do?  I know I at times I feel sad or down and am not sure why.  Fortunately though, I am grateful for some helpful ways to respond as life's natural ups and downs unfold.  When I remember!

We tend to want to push away those tricky emotions like sadness, anger, depression and only want those more pleasant emotions like joy and peace.  However we need dark in order to experience light; we would not know happy if it were not for sad or peace if were not for stress.  My tendency often, is to want to push away a negative emotion like sadness, or to try to numb or suppress it with food, alcohol  or distraction.  Equally unhelpfully I can indulge it with feeling sorry for myself.  These extremes of ignoring, surpassing  or overindulging are never helpful.  Instead a response somewhere in the middle is what is needed.  

So what is most helpful when 'sad' comes to visit?  Instead of attempting to numb, ignore or overindulge I find it helpful to see this so called negative emotion as a friend who has come with a helpful message for me.  This reminds me to accept it or invite it in and hear the message it has without suppressing or overindulging it.  My friend 'sad' reminds me to stop worrying about myself and how bad I feel and find someone else to help.  

I found myself feeling a little sad and lonely recently when it seemed that I was not included in some family events.  Fortunately I remembered it was not helpful to ignore, suppress or pretend 'sad' didn't matter.  I also remembered it was equally unhelpful overindulge  it with negative self talk like "what about me? I am so sad and lonely, no one cares, I am not good enough" etc.  My funny mind, how easily it slips into those negative habits! 
So what to do with my friend 'sad'?  Invite it in and hear its message

• Find someone else to help.  Instead of 'what about me', 'what about You'.  Who else might be feeling a bit sad or left out?  What do they need? A couple of people sprung to mind and I planned some ways to connect with them.  I could text, call, visit, make them something - much more fun than sitting around worrying about myself! We can't be worried about ourselves and concerned about others at the same time.  Choosing to be concerned about others is an instant pick me up for worry about ourselves.  Amazing how this works I felt instantly better.  Remember though if things do not go as planned, rest in your kind intention to help.  
• To be grateful.  Instead of sitting around worrying about all the negative things going on; all the things going wrong make the choice to focus on what is going right.  I have lots of great ways to connect with my family and friends so focus on those and not on, being left out. 
• Choose to be happy for others, especially those who have what you want.  So I could choose to sit around feeling sad and left out or instead choose to be happy that my family are all getting along and having fun at the footy.  Much better for my mind to choose to be happy for them and to let go of the 'what about me'.  Again amazing how this instantly makes us feel better.  Shortly after I let it go, I got a text from one of my kids asking me out for dinner! Wow what a  pick me up!            
• I read recently of someone, who when they start to feel down take themselves out of their apartment and go around looking at others and being happy for them and what they have.  They walk around noticing people walking dogs, holding hands, looking happy, exercising, playing and having fun and make a conscious effort to be happy for them. This of course helps them feel happy and is an instant pick me up!

Of course there may be times when we are not able to do this.  When we are so depressed that we need some assistance in order to stop worrying about ourselves enough to think about others.  It is important to get the professional help we need in such situations.  This may be what is needed first, to allow us to have the space to think about others, which will ultimately be the pick me up for worry about ourselves.  

As Mahatma Gandhi says "the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." It is the best way to lose that 'worry about me, down self ' and pick yourself up too.  ​

Maree xx