Are you interested in further deepening your understanding of forgiveness and how to do it? Last week we explored some common misunderstandings around forgiveness. This week we will look at why it is important and in our own best interest to forgive.
For me, forgiveness is about letting go. My new years resolution this year is to do my best to let go of trying to control things.
I am doing my best to, remember to.........
I am trying to remember to say to myself - “Its like this now – what is my wisest response”? Remembering that my wisest response is never to blame others or myself or worry about what may or may not happen in the future.
This helps me return to the present, and what is happening now, instead of worrying about how things should or shouldn't be or what may or may not happen in the future.
This can be tricky, especially if you tend to be somewhat like me and a bit of an organised, control freak. However, I am enjoying the' letting go'. I am finding it is much more relaxing, liberating and fun to let go and go with the flow and do my best to do what comes up to do without expectation of gain or control. Trying to remember to say It’s like this now – what is my wisest response?
Now what about forgiveness right? My ‘letting go of expectation’ has extended to this blogs' content and even when I get it out. When I sat down to write about forgiveness, I was going to explore why it is in our best interest to forgive and have gone on a ‘letting go’ ramble. But, as I said forgiveness is all about letting go. I am going to do my best to present what has been helpful to me and let go of expectation of outcome.
From last weeks blog you may have cleared up some misunderstanding about forgiveness and be ready now to explore why it is in our own best interest to forgive.
Why it is important to forgive
Forgiveness is not about others – it is in our own self-interest to forgive.
When we are angry with others about what they did and didn’t do to hurt us, and are unable to forgive them, we live with anger, bitterness and unhappiness in our minds and hearts. This disturbs our peace of mind. We mistakenly believe it is easier to live with holding a grudge than to forgive. However it is only through forgiveness we can gain freedom and peace of mind.
Realizing forgiving is in our own self- interest is crucial
We are all self-interested, so it is crucial to realize that forgiveness is in our own enlightened self-interest.
Our enlightened self interest is about realizing we all have an innate desire and right to live a happy life and we cant do this if we are holding onto grudges and resentments at the same time.
Some things that help me remember this is the truth are....
It is in our close relationships, with those we love and who love us, that the hurt is deeper and it can be harder to forgive.
It is important to do our best to mend broken relationships through forgiveness. We can start to mend those relationships is now, and remove the hurt from our conscience. We will talk more about this in coming blogs.
It may seem a bit overwhelming to start with the big hurts first, but we can begin to exercise our forgiveness muscles on the small ones. For me these tend to be about those I am not so close to - the person who cut me off in traffic, the shopkeeper who is rude, or the impatient swimmer in the slow lane. It is easier to forgive those we are not so close to or don't care so much about. .
A little practice I like is to try to remember to do is ‘all day forgiveness’. This really helps prevent those little annoyances building up to ruin my peace of mind and day
All Day Forgiveness
When that person in the slow lane says “I need to go first, because I am faster than you” I try to remember to.........