Ever feel upset, worried and stuck when you lost something that is dear to you?
While I was away recently, I lost a little bag that I keep my travel crafty projects in. I must admit, I am attached to that little cloud bag and its contents, as it has allowed me to crotchet, embroider and knit may way around all sorts of interesting spots. I discover it was missing, as I was coming home by taxi, to our villa.
Oh no, I thought! I was tempted to berate myself for being careless and to go on that 'worry thought train' lamenting its loss. Then I remembered some wise words..............
So, I asked myself if I could do anything about it. Yes, I could explore the three possible places I could have left it. When I returned to our villas, I asked the staff there to ring around for me. They kindly did, but drew a blank at the class centre and taxi. That left the Yellow Bird Cafe. I would walk there in the morning to see if it was there. And in the meantime I would let it go. and not worry.
The next morning I went to the cafe, to discover it was not there either. I checked around where I had been sitting and a woman seated there told me about losing her bag, in that same spot a month ago. She didn't ever get the bag back and was expressing her resentment over no one handing it in. I knew it wasn't helpful to be resentful toward others or ourselves.
Resentment is defined as 'to feel indignation or bitter feelings'. And indignation is defined as 'scornful anger at supposed unjust or unfair conduct or treatment'. We are capable of feeling indignation or bitter feelings toward ourselves and others. Here I was a prime example as, I was tempted to get cross at myself for losing it and at others for not handing it in. Neither of these responses are helpful. What is a wiser response?
Fortunately my friend Kath reminded me of some wise advice. She told me to imagine the person that found my bag was thrilled, it was just what they needed. It was a timely reminder, I had a choice, bitter and resentful or happy for another. I decided to be happy for whoever found it, and let it go. I remember doing this with a mobile phone I lost some months ago. Thinking that the phone was needed and being enjoyed by someone else, made it much easier for me to let it go.
The taxi driver, Wayan arrived to take me to the airport. He had also driven me the previous day. He took my bags to the taxi and then came running back excitedly exclaiming "I found your bag". He explained to me when he had been asked to look the day before, he didn't see it, because it was behind a box of bananas. It had been in the taxi all along .
I was extremely grateful to get my bag back, but also grateful for remembering how unhelpful it is to build up bitterness and resentment toward myself and others. And how helpful it is to give things away happily when we lose them.
As we discussed last week in order to change past unhelpful habits it is helpful to have......
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