Do you ever let a small resentment, like a toot in traffic, build up and up and ruin your peace of mind and day? Sometimes something irritating happens and I stew over and over it in my mind, making myself and others miserable. "They should not have said that, or done that irritating thing", over and over. The truth is that is what happened - 'its like this now', and no amount of worry or protest that it should be different is going to help.
I can also do it over things, I have done that I am not happy about, things like running a yellow light when I could have stopped and not made it difficult for someone turning. I can do both really - go over and over how I should not have done a misdeed, with guilt instead of healthy regret, and also go over and over how someone else should not have done something to me, like give a toot.
So lets think about helpful ways to deal with theses little misdeeds, those things that we do and regret, and those that others do to us. Helpful ways which will prevent these regrets and resentments from replaying over and over in our mind, building up into big regrets and resentments that ruin our present and future peace of mind.
The Four Forces as we outlined in the From Footy Fury to Footy Fun post is a very helpful conscience clearing exercise. It is very useful with those small resentments and regrets too.
I remember many years ago, applying the Four Forces when I was driving along Punt Road on my way to Northcote to check out a yoga studio for and event I was organising. I sped through a yellow light, when I could have stopped in time. This made it very difficult for a motorist turning right and he let me know with a horn blast. I immediately felt terrible about what I had done, and of course also went to justify it, but knew in my own mind I had done the wrong thing. Also I was tempted to get cross at the motorist for his blast too - more justification, excuses and blame. STOP. Instead thankfully I remembered a couple of things.
I was tempted to berate myself for being selfish and go on that 'worry thought train' bashing myself up with guilt.. Thankfully I remembered
There is never a good time to worry
As we discussed in the Footy blog The Four Forces is a bit like 'mind gardening' or conscious clearing. I had recently learned about this practice and thankfully remembered to apply it to this situation.
As we discussed in the last few posts, in order to change past unhelpful habits it is helpful to have......
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