How do you feel when others appear ungrateful or even disapproving of you or the efforts you have made? I have been seeing a bit of ingratitude and disapproval this week and have been reminded of some helpful ways to deal with these situations, including finding the hidden gems these so called 'troublemakers' bring us and hence why we can be grateful for them.
Last week we explored the meaning and many benefits of being grateful. Our Thursday group has been studying a text entitled The Guide To The Bodhisattvas Way of Life and last week we explored the pitfalls of pride and seeking approval in others. As I have previously said, this text is a guide to living a good life. Pema Chodron in her commentary on the text refers to the value of what she calls 'troublemakers'!
Troublemakers can refer to anyone who pushes our buttons, be it the person who is ungrateful, disapproving or irritating. Our next few blogs will explore the value of such people in our lives This week we will look at the benefits of having the first of these so called 'troublemakers' in our lives, the ungrateful troublemaker!
Do you have any ungrateful troublemakers in your life? I have had many over the years and failed to understand or see the value of them in my life.
So what things are helpful to remember when we encounter those so called troublemakers who appear ungrateful or even disapproving of us? Let's start with those people we experience as ungrateful.
The Benefits of the Ungrateful Troublemaker
I often find myself seeking thanks or recognition for something I have done. While it is nice to receive such thanks and helpful to remember to give thanks too, we cannot control whether others show appreciation to us or not!
So when that troublemaker, appears not to notice, appreciate or acknowledge some kindness we have shown what is a helpful response? I can often feel resentful when others do no show appreciation of my efforts. Acknowledging this feeling of resentment and then remembering I have a choice in how I respond is helpful. As I have said many times it is never helpful to deny or suppress such feelings. Once acknowledged we can work skilfully with them.
So what is helpful to remember when those feelings of resentment regarding a perceived lack of appreciation pop up?
My Gratitude practice
Have a great week. Thank you all.
Kind Regards and Best Wishes,
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