Gratitude, The Gateway to Contentment

​Do you ever feel discontent or not content with what you have or what you don't have? When I do, it feels like an itch that needs scratching, like a mozzie bite. The mozzie bite of discontent tells me I need to scratch it to make it go away. But, when I do scratch it, the itch gets worse. This itch of discontent happens when I have a desire for something I want or an aversion to something that I do not want. This is like a grasping to or a pushing away of others, things or experiences. 

Lets take material things first. Materialism is defined as 'the tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values'. Materialism and its promotion, in the form of advertising, intensifies the itch of grasping at getting things we think we need to make us content. Things like new shoes, clothes, car, i-whatever or relationships. We get the new i-whatever and of course the itch of discontent does not go away because it comes back as a new want - the now latest i-whatever. 

I can recall being really itchy, with lots of wants. The feeling of 'if only I had X (new jeans, shoes, i-phone, or relationship) then I would be happy. This feeling of discontentment breeds many unhealthy, unhelpful habits, including...

• Thinking that my happiness lies in things and others. The truth is happiness is a state of mind that I cultivate through kindness and gratitude. The continual seeking of happiness outside myself scratches the itch of discontent. As David Steindl-Rast reminds us ' Happiness is not what makes us Grateful. It is gratefulness that makes us Happy'.
• Greed. Discontent with what I have can leads me to ignorantly think that if I had more I would be happy. 
• Anger. Discontent with how things are can cause us to become angry and attempt to get what I want and get rid of what I don't want. 
• Relationship disharmony. When we are discontent with how others are and want them to be different we can't appreciate their positive qualities. 
• Low self-esteem. When we are discontent with how we are are we constantly comparing ourselves to others or having unreal expectations of ourselves. This erodes our healthy sense of self-esteem. Instead be grateful for who we are and what we have. 

Behind every little desire we have, be it to have a new pair of shoes, a better relationship or to look different, is what Lama Marut calls 'THE DESIRE'. The desire to be free of desire, to be content.
The cure for our discontentment is simply to be content and some things that help me remember to be content are..

• The I HAVE ENOUGH contentment Mantra. To practice what Lama Marut calls the contentment mantra. A mantra is 'a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation' or a 'statement or slogan repeated frequently'. So, the contentment mantra is ... I HAVE ENOUGH 

I can remember practicing this with my then teenage daughter as we walked down High Street past all the clothes shops. I have enough shoes, jeans, tops, t-shirts and dresses! We needed lots of practice!

•  To BE RADICAL; BE CONTENT. Many of us want to be a bit radical, and many of us are discontent. Lama Marut suggests that one way we can be radical, is to be content! It may be helpful to consider this as a peaceful protest!
• ACCEPTANCE OF 'IT'S LIKE THIS NOW'. So often we find it difficult to accept things as they are and want them to be different! But that is the way they are and no amount of protest is going to change that. So the best response for our own peace of mind is that radical acceptance - It's like this now and what is my wisest response... TO BE CONTENT 

So if being content is the cure for our discontent GRATITUDE is the gateway to that Contentment. More about gratitude next week. Why not join me in a morning gratitude practice - it is a sure and easy way to feel happy and content! As I suggested above why not start with our parents, waking up and breakfast!


Have a great week. Thank you all. 
Kind Regards and Best Wishes, 
Maree xx ​