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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Hiding Under a Rock - Confessions of a Terrified Teacher and Tapper

2/26/2016

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Do you ever find it difficult to deal with new situations? Last weeks blog Hiding under a Rock - Confessions of a Terrified Swimmer explored some helpful ways to deal with new situations. I am very  thankful to have received this wise advice. This weeks blog is another opportunity to share with you ways i have been able to put this wise advice into practice.

A few years ago I was asked to teach a group of people.  I had been studying myself for some time but certainly did not feel ready to lead such a group.  I was terrified and look for all kinds of excuses to stay hidden under my rock. Around the same time I was asked to teach a yoga class at a retreat at a yoga Ashram.  I was part way through my yoga teacher training and certainly not confident or in my view competent to teach a yoga class with thirty plus people in it!  Both these teaching opportunities had me terrified beyond belief.  I needed some help.  I had all sorts of crazy escape plans including ringing the Ashram to tell them that the yoga teacher coming for the retreat had not finished her training; in the hope they would ban me.  I was fortunate enough to receive some very wise advice, which helped me though both situations.  Actually it got that terrified me out of the way so I could do my best to pass on what had been so helpful to me, in the hope it may be of benefit to others. 
 
We all have many skills and talents that we can share to benefit others. I knew enough (not a lot) about both philosophy and yoga and I could so my best to share what I knew.  In order to do this though  I needed to get that scared Maree who was so worried about what might happen, what others would think etc. out of the way.  I was then free to focus on being available to do the best I could for whoever turned up. I now realize  when I focus on how I can be of benefit others and stop worrying about myself, that I find true happiness and meaning in my life.  
 
As I said we all have unique talents and skills.  It does not matter what we do.  We can serve in a bakery, sell clothes, teach, parent, lay bricks or be a doctor.  As long as it is with this attitude of connecting with and benefiting others, whatever we do we can't go wrong.  Our only responsibly is to do our best to kindly share these skills and talents with others and let go of the result. 
A friend of mine shared some helpful advice about this in relation to teaching.  She told me
  • “You have learnt and know some things that have been helpful to you, and it is great to have the opportunity to share these. You don’t know everything and that is ok. 
  • Some people will know more than you, you can’t share with them
  • Others will not want to know what you know, and you can’t share with them either.
  • Others will want to know what you know and it is your responsibility to share with them. All you need to do is to do your best to share with those who want to know what you know and leave the others”
Making it about others magically dissolves our fear and worry about ourselves. 
This advice has been so useful to me and helps me get over my fear of teaching each week. It has also made it possible for me to be a teacher of yoga and philosophy, speak to large groups of people, and even tap dance in Moomba and live on stage at the National Theatre!  
I have a responsibility to myself, those who have kindly taught me and those who want to know or see what I know to continue to do my best to share what has helped me.  I can rest in the intention of doing my best to share and let go of my self-consciousness, expectation of appreciation or approval from others and give it to myself.  I am doing my best for others, which may not go the way I planned, like when I completely forgot what I was meant to be doing with my cane in the tap concert, which of course was perfect and provided lots of laughs for us all.  Learning to let go of fear and expectation and doing my best to what needs to be done for others at the time is a much more fun, kind and peaceful way to go.

Maree xx
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