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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Keep Telling The Truth!

12/20/2022

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So, now for more about the first the four misdeeds related to our speech. As I said in ‘Tell the truth’  in yoga when we get to vishuddhi or our throat chakra I always remind myself to let go of any unhelpful speech, speech which is NOT.....
  • truthful, 
  • inclusive 
  • kind
  • meaningful
I also remind myself to check in with my wise self before I speak . that way my speech will be truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful.

I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive, kind encouraging ones. A work in progress.

So as I said this chakra relates to speech and we will explore more about the first of these four misdeeds related to speech, as Lama Marut puts it is........

4. Don't lie - tell the truth.
I mentioned I was tempted to lie, or give someone an impression different from the one I have, when I feel bad about having something that someone else doesn't have.

Another time I am tempted to lie is when I don't want to hurt people's feelings by telling the truth. It's not good karmically to hurt another's feeling or to lie so what do we do? We employ skilful means which is an artful dance between the two.
 
Lama Marut reminds us we can be creative about finding something which is truthfully positive to say about something we don't like, to avoid hurting someone's feelings. His example of how to respond to 'how do you like my purple polka dot, polyester dress from K-mart?' question sticks in my mind. I can hear him saying 'you can always find something nice to say about the damned dress’. His suggestions include 'It fits well' or 'I like the purple colour' or even 'you got it for a great price'. Checking into our wise selves for what to say is always helpful.

Lama Marut tell us that under some very rare circumstances lying to protect the welfare of another person it is ok to lie. The example he gives is when hiding Jews from the Gestapo. He tells us there will still be a karmic consequence for telling a lie, regardless of the fact that it has a good intention. However, the karmic consequences for telling a lie under these circumstances will be minor when compared to being a party to someone's harm or death. 

Sometimes we all find it tricky to tell the truth and think telling a fib or white lie will be best to avoid embarrassment or implication.  A silly example I can remember as a kid is - 'It wasn't me!.... who farted, took the last lolly, or left the mess', when I knew it was me.

Remembering that each time we tell a lie, no matter how so called small, we are creating the karmic causes for perceiving that others do not believe or trust us and that others are lying to us, helps me to try and always be truthful.
Consequently telling the truth will see us experiencing others as truthful and people believing and trusting us.  

Remembering too we are human and at times we will behave in ways which are not truthful. When this happens rather than using blame or victimisation of self and others, we can take responsibility for our misbehaviour and do our 5 forces practice to make amends and create peace of mind. Forgiving ourselves and others and being kind and encouraging to all with our speech is the way to go!

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx

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