Kindness To All, Including Ourselves, Makes Us Happy

Sometimes I forget that the secret of my own happiness is to do my best to bring happiness to others. The simple way to do this is to practice kindness - kindness to all, which includes ourselves.

In reviewing the 7 things to help us feel motivated to keep our best intentions I am reminded that they all relate to how we can be kind to ourselves - through letting go of high expectations, criticism, judgment and complicating thing.

So another quick reminder of what we have covered 

1. Resisting the temptation to work on too many things at once! 
2. Finding ways to remember what our resolutions and goals are.
3. Watching self judgement and criticism. 
4. Being mindful about 'not going too big'.
5. Avoid focusing on outer attainments, or the end result and instead focus on the ongoing feeling you would like to experience.
6. more compassionate. 
7. Thinking it is all about willpower. Understanding  willpower is not something we either have or don't have, but rather a potential we all have and can choose to develop. 
8. Overcomplicating things. 

And the thing I forgot to mention last blog is that practicing kindness is the cause of our happiness. The secret of our own happiness is to do our best to make others happy - doing our best to respond kindly to whatever arises. This makes us feel better in the moment and sows seeds for a happier future too.

Paradoxically whether we are able to make others happy or not is not up to us. We can have a kind intention like when I offered a seat on the tram to an elderly lady, and was met with a hostile gruff 'no', with no thanks! 

This throws me for a loop sometimes, especially when I forget that I do not have the power to make someone else happy - that is up to them. But by seeing myself have the kind intention to make them happy, despite their response, is the cause of my happiness.

Others do not have the power to make us happy either, that is up to us! When we see ourselves do our best to be kind and bring happiness to others we creates a positive self-perception, which is the cause for our happiness. And remember whether they are able to be helped by us is up to them. 

What also really helps is that when I remember to rest in my kind intention, I do not need to justify myself for the reaction of others! Like when someone is angry when I am late - I can rest in my intention to be on time and let go of defensiveness and trying to justify myself with all sorts of excused. I often finds this defensiveness leads to a criticism ping pong match. A simple apology may be all that is required

Remembering these things helps keep me motivated to do my best keep my intention to be a kind positive force in the world for all!

So as the Dalia Lama simply says "My religion is very simple . My religion is kindness". And don't forget that includes kindness to yourself as well.  
Have a happy Easter and a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, 
Maree xx 
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