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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Make Your Words Meaningful and Sincere

1/29/2023

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We are up to our fourth and final misdeed related to speech. Lama Marut puts this very clearly.......... 

Don't engage in useless speech / Make your words meaningful and sincere. 
 
As I always say I try to remember to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. As I always say, this is a work in progress.

Meaningless, idle or useless speech includes......
  • Speech which is a meaningless discussion or debate with others about things you really don't understand that much about. This could include debating about politics or sport when not in a position to understand or know much about it. Certainly for me it would be meaningless for me to attempt to discuss AFL football or politics.  
  • Speaking for the sake of speaking. Chatting about things that are not of meaningful or relevance to others. Like chatting on endlessly about food or any other interest or experience you may have had with someone who is not at all interested. This wastes the precious time of ourselves and others.
  • Gossipy. This involves idle gossipy talk about others. It is often more common for us to gossip about other's problems, rather than talk about the good stuff that is happening. Talking about someone's good qualities and rejoicing in their good fortune is to be encouraged. It is important to be aware of the temptation to gossip, as it is destructive to our own ability to communicate and be heard and respected.
  • Saying we will do something and not following through on doing it. Lama Marut uses the example of saying 'we must catch up soon' when we have no intention of doing so. By doing this we are hearing ourselves say something which is not in line with what we are thinking. We hear ourselves talking rubbish and then we come to think of ourselves as rubbish. 
The karmic (what goes around comes around) consequence of meaningless speech is that no one pays any attention to what we say. If we have engaged in meaningless speech, others will see our speech as meaningless. Because you have not valued your own speech in the past others will not value it either. 

Lama Marut tells us that there is an even worse consequence to meaningless speech. Because you have heard yourself talking rubbish (meaningless speech which is not respectful, or promises you have no intention of following through on) you will have the perception of yourself as having no value or worth in general. He tells us lack of confidence, depression and low self-esteem come from meaningless speech. 

On the positive side of things there are positive karmic consequence for making our words meaningful and sincere, and making our actions match our words by doing what we said we would. By hearing ourselves speak meaningfully we are creating the perception of ourselves as sincere, someone who says what they say they will and respectful. We will feel good about ourselves and others will respect, listen and value our speech contributions.  

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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