Ever expect yourself to be perfect or to get it right every time? Are you ever hard on yourself when you don't achieve the desired result or even worse make a mistake? Often, I like most of us, tend to be my own worst critic. Following a so called 'failure' I can easily slip into the habit of critical negative self talk. This is never helpful. Two truths that have really helped me be mindful not to slip into the habit of critical or negative talk both to myself and others are
So often we expect ourselves to be perfect and think we need to wait until we are perfect before we can feel good about who we are and our lives. When we understand that perfection is an impossible goal for anyone we can stop exhausting ourselves with trying to achieve it. It may be tempting to go to the other extreme and say 'well if I can't get it perfect or be perfect, why even try!
Understanding that perfection is impossible does not mean we do not try to do our best. It is important to give our best effort to things that come up; we all know the difference between a good effort and a foolish slap dash effort.
As long as we have given whatever situation arises our best effort (considering our available resources at the time) despite the end result we can be happy with ourselves. Often when we have done a particular task or dealt with a certain situation we can see both, things that have gone well and things that we could have done a little differently. We can learn from our experiences when we ask ourselves
We all make so called 'mistakes' they allow us to learn and grow.
So often we look at our so called 'mistakes' and think of ourselves as a failure somehow. Rather than do this it is much more helpful to recognise and celebrate the effort you put in, regardless of the result. As I said above we are not in control of the outcome - life is full of ups and downs. We all make mistakes and things often don't go as we had planned. What is most helpful is to not get into that negative, critical self talk and instead see it as a learning opportunity. When we accept we all make mistakes we are able to forgive ourselves and others for these and are free to accept our and others imperfections and do our best with whatever comes up. When I think about it some of my so called mistakes have led me to exactly the place I need to be. Things like failing to get into medicine, get that perfect job, have a family easily, get the tap steps right and be a model mother, have been perfect opportunities to develop humility and compassion for both myself and others.
Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living. We all make mistakes, they help us learn and grow.