As I said last blog saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves. We need self compassion and courage to do so and this continues to be something I am learning to get better at. As Joshua Becker says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
Last blog we looked at three of a list of ten things I find helpful to say ‘no’ to or to at least do my best to minimise. As I mentioned these are things that are distractions for me from what would be best to be doing. Being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose'. Your list may look completely different to mine, depending on what values, priorities likes and dislikes are important to you.
Here is the list of things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include....
1. Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals
2. Too many social activities and entertainment.
3. Keeping up with social media and news
4. Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand
5. Unhealthy habits
6. Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs)
7. Negative self talk
8. Possessions - I have enough
9. Digital Clutter and notifications
10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes
Let's look at the second three.....
4. Projects or opportunities I really don't understand
Sometimes I agree to do things when I really don’t have an appreciation or understanding of what I am taking on. Taking the time to get clear on what you are agreeing so that you can take the time necessary to make an informed decision about whether you have the resources, energy and willingness to do it. And also, whether by doing it you are impacting negatively on our relationships with others.
5. Unhealthy habits
Both our everyday and long time habits shape our lives. It is helpful to do a review of our habits and decide which are benefiting us and which are no longer serving us. So I do my best to keep fit with yoga, walks and slow plod like runs. I also try to get plenty of sleep. Early to bed and early to rise works well for me. I also try to do my best to eat well, although I have just eaten fish and chips for dinner! I also try to do as my mother encouraged me to do 'tidy up as you go". My spiritual practice, including a morning gratitude practice, is important so I try to make this a priority. This is a work in progress for me, awareness and self compassion are key. Remembering to check into my wise self for kind encouragement to look after myself and create healthy habits.
6. Too many words. Harmful speech.
The amount we talk often depends on our personality and what work we are involved in. It's important to have awareness around the words we use and when we use them. It is a helpful to ask ourselves is our speech .........
- kind and
before we speak .
Also helpful is 'Right Speech' in Buddhism. The 4 elements of 'right speech' are speech that is......
Being careful about the words we use - selecting words with the above elements that lift others up, motivate and encourage them is important for meaningful connection. Not using or at least doing our best to minimise words that harm, divide, untruthful, or are meaningless and waste others time is well worth considering. So I think I have said more than enough! Thank you for reading.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all