One May, as Mother’s Day was approaching, I decided to explore what it means to be a mother, or motherly toward others. We all know what being a mother means in the traditional sense, however I wanted to expand this understanding. I looked in the dictionary and in addition to the expected definition of mother as a ‘female parent’ I also found mother means ‘a condition that gives rise to something else’. I found this so interesting as we are all doing this all the time. We are creating conditions that give rise to other things every time we speak, act and think! As Mother Teresa says 'kind word can be short and easy to speak but there echoes are truly endless'. I then went on to look up synonyms for ‘motherly’ and found words including affectionate, kind, loving, maternal and tender. So, as we are all mothers in the creator sense, it is very helpful to be aware of what we are creating with our language, actions and thoughts. We all have the opportunity to be ‘motherly creators’ by showing kindness to others, regardless of our relationship with them. And of course, don’t forget to be kind to yourself too. We can be ‘motherly or kind’ toward our children, our partners, relatives, friends, pets, strangers and of course ourselves too, whether we are female parents or not. I enjoyed thinking about inspiring people who show motherly love toward others. People like Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, our friends who are amazing foster parents, a kind truckie who got us out of trouble, my Aunt Rosa and other friends and family many of whom are not mothers in the traditional sense. So as powerful mothers or creators it is helpful to be aware of the power of kindness, both to others and to ourselves. Mother Teresa says 'kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless'. Mother's Day provides a wonderful opportunity for us to reflect on and be grateful for all the kindness Mother figures, especially our own Mothers have shown and continue to show us. Thank you for your kindness and happy Mother’s Day everyone. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
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 Do you ever let worrying thoughts take you to a stressful unhappy place? I have understood my teacher Cindy Lee explain this is like boarding the ‘Express Worry Train’ to Devastation Station’. We can resist the urge to hop on board by recognising that these unhelpful and untrue worrying thought habits are causing us stress and unhappiness. Staying on the station, instead of boarding the worry train, gives us the freedom to watch the train pass and put a helpful new habit in place.
Neuroplasticity, that understanding that the brain is plastic or changeable allows us to create new neural pathways or ‘thought grooves’ that are more helpful. With recognition we are able to stop recreating that unhelpful thought pattern groove over and over and instead create a more helpful one that will reduce our worry and make us more able to cope with life’s inevitable ups and downs. I would like to share the story of my year 11 Physics train wreck, or wonderful opportunity to learn some helpful new habits. I didn’t really like physics or my teacher and while it was tempting to blame the subject, the exam or the teacher I realized I was the one who unknowingly made it a stressful experience. I remember the lead up to the exam. Despite being a reasonably conscientious student who had put in a fair amount of study I decided I was going to fail the exam. I told myself that I hadn’t done enough work, I was too dumb to get it, I would freeze and be unable to answer any of the questions and on and on it went! My funny mind had me aboard the train and to Devastation Station. I was a nervous somewhat hysterical wreck. That experience and many more subsequent ones have reminded me to BREATHE and to
Maree xx  More about the ‘It’s like this now! What is my wisest response? tool. This tool is so helpful for bringing us into the present and prevents us arguing with reality! Acceptance of how it is now and questioning my wisest response to what is unfolding allows me to prevent blame, conflict and criticism and to respond wisely.
I was reminded of this on a trip I made to Sri Lanka where I had the opportunity to practice acceptance of the reality of arriving at the airport with excess baggage. I was bringing home some handwoven fabric and goods I had purchased for Pom to sell here in support of our Pom projects. I can recall watching my mind go into blame, victim and criticism mode as it argued with the reality of having too much luggage! Fortunately, I remembered to question whether this was useful and concluded it wasn’t. What did I need to do? Accept it’s like this now and question my wise self for a helpful response and to trust all will unfold as it was meant to be. What came up was the great idea to decide to see the excess baggage money like the money I could have spent on a business class upgrade! So, I paid the money and told myself now I was travelling business class, well not really, but sort of! As it transpired the plane was full and I found myself seated next to a woman whose partner was seated next to a toddler a few rows ahead of us. I offered to swap seats with him so they could be together. ‘Thanks, but no need. I think my partner has it sorted’ was her reply. Shortly after take-off they both disappeared down the back of the plane leaving me with two seats to myself! Thank you for my business class upgrade! So yet again when I can accept with ‘It’s like this now’, check into my wise self for what to do and let go and trust, everything will unfold as it is meant to, which may even end up as a business upgrade!
Another way to train our minds to be more in the present, which I learned from my Teachers Lama Marut and Cindy Lee is ‘It’s Like This Now!
It’s like this now! This Lama Marutism has saved me lots of worry and protest about how I think things should be when clearly they are not that way. By realizing ‘It’s like this now’ we are bringing ourselves back into the present “now”! And almost always everything is perfectly ok in the present. When something unwanted happens or when we don’t get what we want we can have understandably have the tendency to wish it was or was not the way it is. My mind can protest and create struggle and conflict wanting it to be different from how it is. For example, I can have cries of ‘you should not have said that to me, it shouldn’t be raining or they should have rung me’ when clearly, they have already said it, it is raining and they haven’t rung! No amount of protesting or complaining about it or wishing it was different from how it is, is going to help. Although somehow, I think it is! The truth is all I am doing with my arguing with reality by complaining and protesting is ruining both my present and future peace of mind. So, what might be a more helpful response? I find ‘it’s like this now’ is a very useful thing to say to myself to bring me int the present and to how things actually are!. When I accept that the situation ‘is like this now’, instead of the way I think it should or should not have been, I bring myself into the present where I can then tune into my wise self to ask ‘what is my wisest response, given that it is like this now? And as you might guess it is not to blame, criticise or protest, but rather to accept and respond wisely. So in our examples I could respond wisely by letting go of what has been said, enjoying the rain and bring understanding and forgiveness to my friend not ringing. A similar helpful thing we might say to ourselves in situations like this is 'It is what it is'! This acceptance of the situation allows us to again in tune into our wise self for how best to respond.. Remembering also that worrying about something is never useful, if there is something to be done, do that and don't worry and if there is not anything we can do, do nothing and don't worry. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
There are some helpful questions we can ask ourselves to train our minds to be in the present. These include ......
Is this memory useful for me now? I learned this way to train our minds to be more in the present, from my Teachers Lama Marut and Cindy Lee. It involves questioning ourselves with ‘Is this memory useful for me now’? And of course if it is not maybe replacing it with a more helpful thought or choosing to forgive. Is this memory useful for my present peace o mind? This is a simple question we can ask ourselves whenever a memory from the past pops into our mind to ruin our present. We can ask ourselves if this memory is useful to our present peace of mind? If not, which will often be the case, let it go and take some breaths to bring you back into the present. Is future worry about what may or may not happen useful for me now? Another question that might be useful to ask is when our mind projects us into worry about the future; Is future worry about what may or may not happen useful for me now? The answer is always no because worry is always a waste of time. As Lama Marut says if something unwanted happens and we can do something about it, do that and don’t worry; if we can’t do anything about it, do nothing and don’t worry. A worry free period. Another strategy I find helpful to reduce my tendency to be unable to stop worrying is to say to myself ‘I am not going to worry about that now. I will spend some time at say 6pm tonight worrying about it. Usually by the time my chosen worry time arrives I have forgotten about what I had been worried about. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
A second way to train our minds to be more in the present, which I learned from my Teachers Lama Marut and Cindy Lee is the ‘Mindful Breath Meditation’.
During our yoga meditation after the ‘be here now’ meditation preliminary practice, we bring our attention to the breath with a simple ‘Mindful Breathing Meditation’. Mindful Breathing Meditation Mindfulness is the ability to pay careful attention to what you are thinking, feeling and sensing in the present moment, without judging those thoughts and feelings as good or bad. Mindfulness can help us deal with difficult feelings like stress, anger and anxiety. One method for cultivating mindfulness is to focus your attention on your own breathing. By taking time to practice mindful breathing we are training ourselves to be able to bring our focus to the breath in our daily lives. This facilitates our ability to concentrate, be patient and deal with negative emotions. The breath is like our anchor in the present moment. We are always breathing in the present moment so bringing our attention here settles the mind into the present. And as we said everything is ok when we bring our mind into the present. Future fear and past worry exist in times that don't. The past that has already been and the future that is yet to come. The Practice We begin by focusing our mind on the breath, noticing the inhale as it moves through the nostrils, the little gap and the exhale as it moves out through the nostrils. We don’t need to do anything to the breath, simply notice it. As we do this, your mind may start to wander to other things. This is very normal. It’s great when we notice that our mind has begun to wander. When you notice, simply relax and do your best to kindly bring the mind back to the breath, much like you would guide a wandering toddler. Stay here for five minutes, watching the breath. Continue to notice wandering, relax and keep kindly bringing it back to the sensation of breath again and again. Remember to be kind and encouraging with your wandering mind. We all have minds that need gentle training. When we are out and about we can do this tuning into the breath at any time by simply taking a deep breath and bringing our attention to the breath. This will ground you in the present and everything is ok there. Mindfulness breath Meditation or just simple remembering to tune into the breath when we are going about your daily life has many benefits. These include…..
Maree xx
Eckhart Tolle says ‘realize deeply the present moment is all you have. This reminds me to be present where and when I am in the present moment and to not get caught up in being some place else or some time else! In the words of Jim Elliot; ‘Wherever you are – be all there.
There are several benefits to training our minds to be in the present …. When we are in the present moment................
Both the past and the future only exist in the present mind. The past has already been and the future has not yet come! However we bring them into the present mind, usually with worry. There is never any use worrying about what has already been and what may or may not happen in the future, but how do we stop ruining our present with such worry? A useful way to train our minds to be more in the present, which I learned from my Teachers Lama Marut and Cindy Lee is this ‘Be Here Now’ practice. This practice is one way we can train our minds to be more in the present and less caught up with worry about the past and future, times that don’t exist. We can do this simple tuning into our surroundings anytime we remember as well as a preliminary before doing meditation. I have been using this 'Be Here Now' practice to settle into the present before doing our meditation in yoga for many years. Lama Marut refers to this practice as 'setting our internal GPS'. It orientates us in the present, place and time.
The ‘be here now’ practice consists of the following steps.
ii.Secondly, we notice the sensations we can feel. These include any areas of pressure or warmth we can feel on the skin, a breeze, whatever we can feel. Again no need to think we are simply tuning in iii.Thirdly, we bring our attention to any smells that are lingering around. BINGO we are in the present, and everything is OK there, no fear or worry. In our yoga classes we do this meditation preliminary practice, then go onto bring our attention to the breath, our anchor in the present with a simple mindful breathing meditation. I will outline the steps of this mediation next blog. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
As I said last blog I have been trying to remember to be grateful and to do Lama Marut's 2-part morning loll each morning. The first part of the loll includes gratitude as I elaborated on last blog. The second part is all about considering our impermanence and using this to make the most of our precious lives.
Like us all, I have had family and friends who have passed away. Despite understanding that it is part of the cycle of life and having studied Buddhism and Death Awareness, I am often still taken by surprise when death occurs. In the past I have been reluctant to consider death. I felt it was morbid and did not want to think about it because I was fearful. I am sure I am not alone as I think in our culture, we tend to be afraid of death. However, when we bring a wise understanding to death, we are able to let go of fear and appreciate our lives more. I now understand it is not helpful to put my head in the sand when it comes to death and that awareness and understanding help me to be more realistic and to make the most of each day of my precious life. It also helps me to appreciate others too, to not take them for granted and to remember to tell them that I love and appreciate them. The idea to live every day as if it was your last is an interesting one. If I truly thought today was the last day, I had to live I certainly wouldn’t waste time getting angry, upset or worried. I’d make the most of it to connect with those I love to tell them that I love and appreciate them. This is great to reminder to do all the time. There are three Buddhist death awareness contemplations I find most helpful. These are…
I find these three Buddhist death awareness contemplations most helpful. My understanding of these are…
So when I have done part one of the loll and thought about all I have to be grateful for I then do a brief contemplation of these three understandings. I think about the certainty of my death, the unknown time of it and remind myself to live a good life and do my best to be kind positive force in the world. Awareness of death helps me to appreciate and live a ‘good life’. With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all Maree xx
A Morning Gratitude Practice
The New Year is a great time to remind ourselves of things that are great to do to promote peace of mind and happiness. Things like a morning gratitude practice. Gratitude is, as Pema Chodron says, 'a magical golden key to being alive in a full, unrestricted and inspired way'. I have written much about gratitude and consider it one of the most important foundational practices for happiness, resilience and peace of mind. Gratitude can help us heal feelings of sadness. It can also help us to feel uplifted and to find the blessings in a difficult situation and turn a so-called problem into an opportunity to learn. For example I can be grateful for the grumpy person ahead of me in coffee cue for reminding me to be patient. Many years ago I was introduced to a morning gratitude practice. It is wonderful way to start each morning and certainly sets a positive mood for the day. When I wake up I bring to mind my amazing life and all those in it and be thankful for it all. I go through being thankful for having woken up, and all those who are helping to make my amazing life possible. These can include, having a house to live in, family, friends, and loved ones, my work and those I work with, and all the resources I have, shelter, money, food, clothes, etc. I can also bring to mind gratitude for all those people I don’t even know that make my life possible, including farmers who grow my food, workers who make all the appliances, gadgets and clothes I use, public transport drivers and road construction workers who help me to get around, and health care workers and police. While I have given many examples here even just a quick contemplation on few things that we are grateful for each morning is a great morning habit to develop. Lama Marut calls this simple morning gratitude practice part one of the ‘two-part morning loll’. He suggests we don't get up straight away but instead loll around in bed contemplating our amazing lives and being grateful for all those people who make our lives possible. We can also keep a gratitude journal where we list the things we are grateful for each morning. Adding to it during the day keeps us mindful to be grateful. The second contemplation we can do following the gratitude part of the morning loll is to think about impermanence and that none of us know when our lives will end. The purpose of this is not to be morbid but rather to help us prioritise what is important in out lives and to motivate us to make the most of each precious day. Lama Marut suggests we bring to mind these two things when we wake and contemplate them while lolling around in bed. These two simple daily habits open up a sense of joy and get us in touch with what is important in our lives. They are a great way to start each day! With love and my very best wishes to us all Maree xx  Our time is a beautiful gift. We can give it to others when we listen to or do something kind for them. So, during this festive season or any time really, it’s fun to think about giving a gift of our time, the gift that we can all afford and is the most precious gift we can give. Some time giving ideas include, taking the time to ……
Whatever talents you have and I’m sure there are many, remember to take the time to use them to share with and give to others. With love and my very best wishes to us all Maree xx |
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