Respecting Relationships

Having gone on a few interesting detours over past blogs this fortnight’s will return to our exploration of the misdeeds related to the body. We are up to the third of these, having covered  ….

1. Don’t kill - Protect and honour life 
2. Don’t steal – Treat other people’s things with respect and practice generosity.

So, this third misdeed related to the body is 

1. Don’t hurt others with your sexual activity – Respect and foster others’ relationships.  

As I said last blog, I really find Lama Marut’s take on the ten precepts very helpful. The precepts give us the tools to negotiate life to avoid future worries and create the causes for future contentment and peace of mind.
 
So, this third misdeed relates to adultery. As Lama Marut explains it ‘adultery means having sexual relations with someone other than your partner (assuming you have mutually agreed not too) or, if single with someone who is married or otherwise seriously and exclusively committed to another.’
 
This behaviour hurts other people. Hurt including the betrayal of trust. Lama Marut tells us the ancient texts refer to karmic ripenings, or future consequence of this type of behaviour.
'What goes around comes around'. These include…….

• Unfaithful spouses
• Others trying to steal your partner
• Those around you (friends, family, workmates) seem untrustworthy to you
• We perceive others as enemies
• We perceive our environment as dirty or polluted

 
So, if we want a sexual partner and others in our lives we can trust, a nice clean environment and friendly people around us, we need to refrain from hurting others with our sexual activity. And we need to put the causes in place for a positive future. These include….

• Respecting other’s relationships. Respecting others in general is a great practice! 
• Supporting other’s relationships. For me this includes doing my best to refrain from joining in with harmful gossip about others or unhelpful judgment and bagging of others or their relationships. I sometimes find it hard to refrain from putting my two cents worth in with how I think others should be in relationship. It is helpful to remember to judge the behaviour and not the person and also to understand we often have no idea what is going on for others. Compassion for all including us is much more helpful than judgment and blame. 

So instead, be complimentary of others when you see good things going on and do what you can to promote understanding, care, compassion and respect in all relationships. 

• And I find these 5 relationship rules good reminders
  • Stay faithful
  • Make them feel wanted
  • Respect your partner
  • Don’t flirt with others 
  • Make time 

Remembering too we are human and at times we will behave in ways which are disrespectful and may be harmful to others or their relationships. When this happens rather than using blame or victimization of self and others we can take responsibility for our misbehaviour and do our 5 forces practice to make amends and create peace of mind
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx