I have been thinking about trust this fortnight and have been doing my best to consciously replace fear (and hope too) with trust. I understand it may sound a little wacky to not be hopeful, so lets do some exploring.
Many years ago I was reading a book by Pema Chodron which as I understood it, was suggesting to abandon hope! This idea threw me for a loop and I can remember being very resistive even to entertain this idea of abandoning hope. Further contemplation and study have helped me understand that I am replacing hope with acceptance and trust. It is not only just abandoning hope! That is way too scary!
So, in small ways I have been training myself to trust in preference to hope. These ways include ......
For me these small changes feel more powerful, encouraging and positive.
I can take this replacing hope with trust idea a little further by trusting in the divine order of things when stuff happens, especially things that I don't want As we had been exploring, the idea of accepting what is - 'It's like this now', and letting go of how I think it should or should not be, is the first step. This radical acceptance of how things are can be difficult enough, even when small things go wrong, but as we know from Byron Catie, arguing with reality, by debating how we think things should or should not be is what causes our suffering!
So these idea of
As I often remind myself it is good to start with the small things to help to build up to the more challenging circumstances. So, practicing with the replacement of hope with trust and dropping of the word hope in greetings is a great start!
I had another small practice situation present recently when I applied for the position at the boarding house. I found myself hoping for lots of things including, to get my applications just right, get an interview, to get an email or call each day, and to get the job. Whenever I found myself worrying and hoping that I would hear about the job etc., I tried my best to accept what was happening now (no phone call or email) and to consider my wisest response - which was to let go of worry and trust things were unfolding just as they should. Opening up to wonder and trusting is liberating. I told myself, I would hear when I needed to hear and get the job if it was meant to be. Again and again!
Often this is very tricky. It is one thing to be learning to trust when minor disappointments or expectations happen, but what about when major difficulties arise. These are the times we need to remember to be kind and gentle with ourselves and others. We need to give ourselves and others balanced self care and take the time to heal and seek help if we feel the need.
So often, I look back at events and am grateful that they did not happen the way I thought they should or hoped they would. In hindsight I can often see they have provided me with just the lessons I needed at the time. Remembering this helps me to let go ad trust in how things are unfolding. As Pema Chodron says "letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all'.
In appreciation for you all. Have a great fortnight!