Some Things I Find Helpful to Say 'No' to or At Least Minimise!

​Last blogs we talked about self-compassion boundaries including, taking the time to pause and consider a request, to do a little stock take of our resources before committing, and resisting the urge to overcompensate! 
 We also looked the important self-compassion boundary of simple say ‘no' when we are  under resourced or something does not fit in with our values.  Saying ‘no’ can help us live a more intentional and meaningful life and help us to take care of ourselves.
 
As I said  learning to say ‘no’, and having the self compassion and courage to do so is a work in progress for me. In this blog and the next we will look at some things I find helpful to say ‘no’ to or to at least do my best to minimise. These are things that are distractions for me and being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose'. Your list may look completely different to mine, depending on what values, priorities likes and dislikes are important to you.  

It's great to be on holidays to be reminded of living minimally and the freedom associated with that. I managed to pack lightly and just take the things I thought I would need. That said I did pack my weaving loom and sourdough starter!

So some things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise include.....
1.  Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 
2.  Too many social activities and entertainment. 
3.  Keeping up with social media and news
4.  Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand
5.  Unhealthy habits 
6.  Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs)
7.  Negative self talk
8.  Possessions - I have enough 
9.  Digital Clutter and notifications
10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes

Let's look at the first three.....
1.  Spending money on stuff, I don't need, free things and 'good deals'.
Being aware of where I am spending money helps me to be mindful of whether I am using money in helpful ways or am I just buying stuff I I don't need. I don't need to be stingy, but rather simply ask myself whether I need that extra pair or shoes, another cake tin or gingham dress! As Joshua Becker says 'The less you need to own the less you need to spend'.
Also saying 'no' to something I am offered that I don't need, like to change power companies, an upsized drink, or a chocolate bar with my petrol, saves unwanted distractions and frustration. 

2.  Too many social activities and entertainment. 
These days I rarely find myself overrun with social commitments. However I love to cath up with family and friends and can sometimes find myself agreeing to do things I'd rather not do, or don't have the time to do. I am a fairly introverted person so saying 'no' when I don't feel comfortable supports and looks after me. We all need a healthy dose of social and entertaining activities. But if we find these things taking over our lives and not nourishing us, we may find we are becoming distracted from other more meaningful opportunities and activities. 

3.  Keeping up with social media and news. 
This is a tricky one for us all. There are many advantages to social media however being aware of when it is becoming a distraction and disturbing our peace of mind is important. I try not to become distracted by social media these days. I was finding myself mindlessly consuming all the news, social and otherwise which was distracting me from what was important in my life. I greatly value personal connection through face to face contact, email, Skype and phone.I try to resist the urge to keep up with it all. That is one of the liberating things about being on holidays, having time to do things that nourish and promote my peace of mind. Things like to read, write, rest and get out in nature.

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx