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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Speak in Ways that Bring Others Together

1/1/2023

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​Having covered the misdeeds related to the body and the first misdeed related to speech, don’t lie, we are up to the second of the misdeeds related to speech. (number five in our list of ten).
 
Before we get onto discuss this, I wanted to share some questions I have found very useful to consider before I speak. Often our emotions can be strong and can lead us to express ourselves in unhelpful ways.  Remembering wise speech really helps with this.
To do this we can ask ourselves these important questions, before we speak our truth- 

1. Is it True? – or is it exaggerated (watch for you 'always' and 'never') or out of context?

2.  Is it Well intended/Kind? - What is my intention in saying this? Is it helpful and kind?

3.  Is it Necessary? Do I really need to say this?

4.  Is it timely? - We can also add timely - is this the right time to be discussing this?
 
As I also said I try to remember to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. As I said, this is a work in progress.

So, Vishuddi, or our throat chakra relates to speech and the four misdeeds related to speech. The second of these four as Lama Marut puts it is........ 
 
Don’t use your words to drive a wedge between people – Speak in ways that bring others together.
 
This is known as divisive speech, when we say something about someone to someone else with the intention of dividing them. I can recall doing this as a teenager, when I had the misguided idea that turning someone against someone else would make me more popular!
 
Quite the reverse is true. The karmic correlation related to this divisive speech is that we lose friends easily. We also experience others as speaking badly of us. Another karmic correlation is that we may perceive we live in an environment where travel is difficult. Lama Marut explains that by tearing others apart through our words we are creating the causes for that to come back to us as experiencing difficult joining ourselves to our destination.
 
Instead of being divisive with our speech we can use our speech to bring others together. We can say nice things about others, especially when they are not around! We all have many opportunities to do this and it always feels good. Many years ago, I got the opportunity to do this when I introduced a new mother at my children’s primary school to other mothers. She still reminds me that it made her feel included and we are good friends to this day, some thirty years later.
It is not surprising that by being inclusive with our speech we generate loyal friends and more harmonious relationships in the future.

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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