STOP the Worry Train

Ever board that 'Express Worry Train', to Devastation Station? I think many of us hop on board unmindfully and let those worrying thoughts take us to a stressful unhappy place.  We all  can prevent this train wreck by being aware of how unhelpful and untrue these negative worrying thought habits are causing us worry and unhappiness and making a conscious effort to stop them.  We are then free to put a helpful new habit in its place.  Neuroplasticity, that understanding that the brain is plastic or changeable allows us to create new neural pathways or 'thought grooves' that are more helpful.  With mindful awareness we are able to stop  recreating that unhelpful thought pattern groove over and over and instead create a more helpful one that will reduce our worry and make us happier.  

I was reminded this week of how easy it is to hop aboard the worry train.  The end of semester and school term is here and 'swating' students are everywhere.  I remembered back to year 11 Physics, which for me was a train wreck.  I now understand how this experience taught me a wonderful lesson. I didn't really like physics or my teacher really and while it was tempting to blame the subject, the exam, its content and position in a packed timetable and the teacher, I realise now I was the one responsible for it being a stressful experience. I didn't know any better at the time! No need to bash myself up though - I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time. I have been fortunate enough to learn some helpful new responses and will continue to do my best to practice them.   
I remember the lead up to the final exam - I was a reasonable conscientious student  and had certainly put in a fair amount of study but I decided that "I was going to fail the exam, that I hadn't done enough work, I, was too dumb to get it, I was going to freeze when I got the exam, I would be unable to answer any of the questions, it was a disaster, I would fail for sure" and on and on it went.  I wound up at 'Station Devastation' a nervous somewhat hysterical wreck.  
STOP that train.  If we be mindful of that first negative thought and stop ourselves boarding that negative thought train we can prevent the devastation and create a new helpful thought habit.  When we think about it' none of these thoughts are true - I hadn't failed, frozen or been unprepared yet because I hadn't even sat the exam!! 

So what advice would the wiser Maree of now, have for that scared, worried teenager?

• Acknowledge the feeling - My 'frenemy' (enemy disguised as a friend) 'stress and worry' have certainly come to visit!!!! But what have they come to teach me?   They have come to remind me to.....
• Breathe into the present.  Don't board that worry train or STOP it.  DONT BELIEVE those untrue thoughts like -  I am going to fail, I have not done enough work, its going to be an impossible exam, I am not smart enough, this is a disaster  etc. etc. Catch that first untrue one and don't believe it because it is not true
• Connect with your friend - that encouraging friend who is on your side - Listen to them as you reassure yourself - you have done your best to prepare, you know some stuff so do your best to share it with those who want to know it (the examiner) and for those who have supported you, parents, teachers, friends etc. Find someone else to encourage and reassure too.  
• Do what needs to be done - continue preparing calmly, get organised to get there, help someone else, especially someone else who is worried, which can of course include our parents, teachers and friends.   

Just a quick note on doing your best.  We are all doing our best with the resources we have available at the time - maybe we didn't know it would be best not to board the stress train or maybe we are having difficulty with the subject, getting organised or our motivation.  We are still doing our best .  Rather than bash ourselves up we can use these so called 'mistakes', or short-comings as a learning experience for doing a better best next time.  Next time we can do our best to  be more organised, ask for help and help others  

So next time your frenemy stress comes to visit ................... 

• Acknowledging that feeling and using it as a reminder to 
• Breathe and don't believe those negative, untrue thoughts 
• Connect with your internal friend to be encouraging and kind to yourself and others
• Do your best to do what needs to be done, for yourself and others too

No matter what we are worried about it is helpful to remember Eckhart Tolle's wise words "Worry pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose".
Starting a mindfulness meditation practice is an important step in developing these helpful new thought habits  which will help you to be happier and more confident. I would love to assist you to start a meditation practice with my 'Worry to Wonder ' programme.  Email me so we can have a chat  maree@pom-melbourne.com
Maree xx