The Last Things I Find Helpful to Say "No' to or at Least Reduce

As I explored last blogs saying ‘no’ or at least doing our best to minimise can help us live a more intentional and meaningful lives and prevent us from being distracted from what is best for us. Joshua Becker puts this so well when he says 'Minimalism isn't about removing the things you love. It's about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.'
 
So lets look at the last of the ten things I find helpful to say 'no' to or at least minimise!. As I have said being aware of them helps me to keep 'on meaningful purpose' rather than distracted!

1.  Spending money on stuff I don't need, free things and good deals 
2.  Too many social activities and entertainment. 
3.  Keeping up with social media and news
4.  Projects or opportunities I don't fully understand
5.  Unhealthy habits 
6.  Too many words (hence I'll do three at a time over the next blogs)
7.  Negative self talk
8.  Possessions - I have enough 
9.  Digital Clutter and notifications
10.Things that do not align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes

Let's look at the last two....

9. Digital Clutter and notifications 
As we said last blog removing or reducing visual clutter or physical possessions helps us to be less distracted promoting a sense of peace, reducing our stress and making us more availability for the things that matter.
Related though less of a burden is digital clutter. I find it really helpful to do a digital declutter every so often. Going through my computer and phone to remove unneeded emails, documents and messages, clearing up my desktop and unsubscribing from what is no longer relevant to me frees me up to concentrate on the things that matter. 
I like to be with who I am with and to concentrate on the job at hand without distractions. This is really hard these days as there seems to be an almost constant series of phone beeps, dings and vibrations. I do my best to try to avoid being distracted by my phone and put my attention where and when I am and with whom I am. If you see me distracted, I am happy for you to give me a reminder!

10.  Things that do no align with who I am and my values, likes and dislikes 
Some time ago now I was introduced to the ten Buddhist Precepts. Much like the other tens, the ten commandments and the ten pillars of Islam, they are ethical guidelines which help us to align with our values. I have found them particularly useful reminders on how I want to be living my life.
Here is how I understand them in their negative and positive forms.
The first three relate to action of the BODY. They are........ 
1. Refrain from harm (including to ourselves)
Practice kindness 
2. Refrain from stealing
Practice protecting others property
3. Refrain from disrespecting others relationships  
Practice respecting others relationships
The next 4 relate to SPEECH 
4. Refrain from harsh speech
Practice gentle speech 
5. Refrain from meaningless speech 
Practice meaningful speech
6. Refrain from speech that excludes others
Practice inclusive speech 
7. Refrain from untruthful speech 
Practice truthful speech
The last three relate to the MIND
8. Refrain from being unhappy when others are happy
Practice being happy for others that are happy (or 'pile on to their happiness', as Lama Marut says)
9. Refrain from being happy when others are not happy (have misfortune)
Practice having compassion for others who are suffering
10. Refrain from incorrect world view
Practice applying wisdom and taking responsibility.

I find these great principles to live by. I do my best to uphold them and try not to give myself a hard time when I muck up. We are all practicing!
I will spend some more time elaborating on these in the following blogs.
Related here is staying true to ourselves and not agreeing to do something we feel uncomfortable about, just to please others. Sometimes 'no' is the kindest thing for all concerned if it doesn't feel right. We all have likes and dislikes and it's important to be able to authentically, kindly and appropriately express these free of judgment or wanting to be liked or approved of.  
 
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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