To Stress of Not To Stress and Relax Instead!

Do you spend too much time stressing? Lately, I have been doing some unhelpful worrying. Stress is a waste of time and energy and serves no useful purpose. And as we explored last week in our 'Commitment Matters' blog, the causes for low self esteem, stress or worry and depression are .....

• Not following through on realistic commitments made. Of course things may come up to prevent us from keeping commitments, but making realistic, considered commitments with the intention of following though and keeping them is important for us to feel good about ourselves and cultivate trust. 
• Pride. This is the unhealthy sort of pride, where we think somehow we are better than others. This has the reverse effect making us feel lousy about ourselves in the end. It is important to do our best to be better for others and be aware of the unhelpful habit of thinking of ourselves as better than others. 
• Selfishness. This habit can include worrying about myself, making it all about me and my needs sometimes at expense of others. It can also include not considering or respecting others, and over concern for our health or wellbeing. 

So, how can we be less stressed about our selves? Interestingly, stressed backwards is desserts!  If I reverse the 'stressed about myself' and make it about how I can benefit others, I can get my desserts - a happier, more confident and less stressed me!

Corny I know, but, maybe a good way to remember that less worry about ourselves and more concern about how to do our best to be a positive force in the world, brings desserts both to me and possibly to the receiver of my kind efforts.

I say possible because sometimes our best efforts to benefit others does not appear to be well received or to help at all! Like when I offered assistance to an elderly lady on the tram and was met with hostility. Was my intention to make her upset?  No! It is useful to remember our intention, when a well intentioned action on our behalf appears to backfire!  As Confucius says "Act with kindness but do not expect gratitude" So, we can remember....

• To rest in our kind intention of being of assistance 
• No act of kindness is ever wasted 
• And as Chogyam Trungpa says "If it time for something to flower it will and if it is not, it won't". So the kind seed I planted will flower at some time, but obviously not on that tram.  

By seeing myself be less stressed about myself and less about making it all about me, and instead being more concerned about doing my best to be a positive force in the world to benefit others, despite the response or result, I am creating a positive self perception. This is like instant positive karma, as it feels good. I can have my dessert and eat it too - a happier me, who is fuelled up to continue to be that positive force in the world, who is better for others. 

We can put our energy into something positive and trust that things will work out as they will and life will provide us all with the lessons we need to learn. 

Relaxation and spaciousness is available in every moment. When we feel the stress and worry a simple practice is to come to the breath and mindfully breathe 3 times. This allows us to connect with our innate wisdom and respond from there rather than react with more stress and worry! 


Have a great fortnight! Gratitude, Kind Regards and Best Wishes, 
Maree xx ​