Tune into and Listen to your Best Friend!

​I have been continuing to do some exploration and experimenting around what it means to take better care of ourselves, with that motivation of doing so to be more available to do what is needed to be available for others.  I am continually reminded that if I do not do this and become tired and cranky I am no use or fun to be around for anyone, including me.
 
For me Helen Reddy’s ‘Best Friends’ song reminds how to take care of ourselves so wisely and practically. As I said last blog the words acknowledge for me, both the truly wise and also the uniquely human nature, we all have. 
 
I decided to explore some best friend characteristics and thought about the fact that sometimes a best friend will tell us a hard truth about what is best for us. This is often a painful truth that may be difficult to say and to hear. When our inner best friend/wise self is speaking it is always in our best interest.  Lama Marut uses the analogy of our wise best friend on the left shoulder and our egoic task master on the other. Often, we cannot hear what our best friend is suggesting because the task master is so loud and demanding. 
 
In my self-care exploration I came across some helpful advice from Meggan Watterson. It was about tuning into and listening to the intuitive needs of the body. Our body has lots of integrated wisdom and lots to teach us about self care we just need to develop the internal ears to listen. So instead of ignoring the ultimate wisdom of the body I have been playing with allowing for a living dialog with what my body needs in any moment.
 
I found a wonderful little book by Sarah Ford entitled ‘Be a Sloth and when in doubt, just chill out. I think it is written for me. I have learnt that sloths get a bad wrap and that I have a lot to learn from them. A quote from the book ‘Sloth is always true to himself. He doesn’t do exercise (because that is not what his body needs), but he does look after himself – he eats well, sleeps well and is tune with his mind and his body in all its hairy entirety.’ More about what we can learn from sloths next bog!
 
The difference between want and need for me is the difference between an egoic want and a best friend/wise self need.  Instead of imposing what I think I want or expect (ego talking), I am playing with turning up and listening to what my body needs. (wise/best friend). The body has lots to tell us about self care when we listen.  It is important to remember to work with kindness and curiosity with our habits – that’s what our best friend would do. So, no need to be punitive, or for blame, judgment and a hard time! 
 
This is a work in progress for me. But I am finding it fun – it begins with ……….
 

1.  Awareness of habits. 

For example, for many years I have been in the habit of having a strong cup of coffee (and a cigarette many years ago) first thing every morning. I am not saying there is anything wrong with this and that I should not have this morning coffee. (absolutes, like should and should not and never and always are egoic task master favourites). I have come to understand that it is for me a habit of the ego, I don’t question whether I need it that particular morning or not I just have it. Sometimes I feel this coffee is necessary to start me up, but, other times it is not what my body needs! And maybe something else could meet that ‘wake up’ need. 
 

1. Asking what my body needs in any moment. 

I have been using my favorite ABC practice to tune into the body’s needs

1. A -Aware (of wanting a cup of coffee)
2. Breathe 
3. Connect with the wise self by going down to the heart and asking ‘What do I need in this moment? Sometimes yes and sometimes no and sometimes something else.

 
I have been thinking about where and times I may ignore the ultimate wisdom of the body. Where I have been unconsciously harming myself. Times when I don’t tune in to ask my body “What do you need in this moment?  (no critical task master necessary – I am learning to tune into my body and its needs).  
We may ignore the ultimate wisdom of the body when we……..
 

• Eat too much or too little   
• Drink too much or too little
• Being restrictive with food choices or eating junk food in excess 
• Striving to achieve something and ignoring what the body needs i.e.
  • Pushing our body to get into a yoga pose, 
  • Pushing ourselves to achieve something - run a certain distance, or at a pace beyond what is comfortable or safe, push through with injury  

OR being inactive and being like ‘Norm’ on the couch!

• Get stuck in busy mode and unable to stop. I call this, ‘I will just finish this in order to relax’ mode. So tuning into my body and listening to it when it needs to rest and relax, rather than to be pushed to finish. 

                     OR being inactive when my body needs to be moving. 
 
 
When I am able to explore my wants and needs with awareness and curiosity, I am able to be aware to tune into my body for what is needed rather than be bossed around by the tricky task master who is so often punitive and demanding with its wants. It takes practice to get used to tuning into and listening to that best friend who is always on your side. For me it is well worth the time and effort. It is an important way I can look after myself in order to be more available to connect and care for others.  
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx