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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Use Words that are Kind and Pleasing to Others (and to you too)!

1/19/2023

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Having covered the misdeeds related to the body and the first and second of the four misdeeds related to speech, don’t lie and be inclusive we are up to the third of these misdeeds - Don't Harm!
 
As I always say I try to remember to check in with my wise self before I speak for speech which is truthful, inclusive, kind and meaningful. I also try to be aware of my internal speech and check in with my wise self to replace any untrue critical, unkind thoughts with positive kind encouraging ones. As I always say, this is a work in progress.

So, Vishuddi, or our throat chakra relates to speech and the four misdeeds related to speech. The third of these four as Lama Marut puts it is........ 
 
Don’t hurt people with your words / Use words that are kind and pleasing to others
 
Harsh or unkind speech includes words that hurt others. We can include ourselves and our internal dialog here too. Being aware of unkind internal speech and replacing it with kind encouraging words. Practicing kind speech both to ourselves and others is a life changing practice.

So, harsh speech can be external or internal. Whether we are speaking to ourselves or others it is our intention that matters not what we say or how we say it. Harsh speech can be loud, with lots of swearing, full of sarcasm, or even soft and sweet. It is harsh speech if it has the intention to hurt another.  

Lama Marut tells us the karmic correlation for speaking harshly is that we will perceive others as speaking unkindly to us and saying things that we don't want to hear. I have had experiences in my life where I seem to be constantly perceiving people as difficult or argumentative. Being aware of practicing kind speech helps me to not create the causes for such perceptions.

Another karmic correlation of harsh speech is the perception of noise pollution. So, again to avoid all types of unwanted noises, including the people criticising us or abusing us or the noisy neighbours we need to create the perception of an harmonious environment, through the use of kind, friendly and pleasant speech, both externally and internally. Who wants to listen to a harsh, critical internal soundtrack! It's time to stop that by replacing it with kind, encouraging words to yourself. I love the words of Helen Reddy's song 'Best Friend' to remind me of this. 

Best Friend 
Would you take better care of yourself 
Would you be kinder to yourself
Would you be more forgiving of your human imperfections 
If you realised your best friend was yourself 

Who is always with your everywhere 
Who is on your side when others are unfair 
And tell me, who will never let you down in any situation 
Who will always see your get your share 

And that's why I am a best friend to myself
And I take me out whenever I feel low
And I make my life as happy as a best friend would
I'm as nice to me as anyone I know


So, as I  said I always find it helpful to check in with my wise self or best friend to ask what I need to say both to myself and others. The suggestions are always kind and encouraging. When we get to our throat chakra in our yoga practice I encourage us to check in with our wise selves for some words which are kind and encouraging and to say these words to ourselves three times. 

In Buddhism there are what are called the 'Four Immeasurables', these can be thought of as ways to act toward ourselves and others. They are 
1. Kindness or Friendliness
2. Compassion
3. Sympathetic Joy (being happy for others) 
4. Equanimity 

The first of these kindness or friendliness is inherent here with both our internal speech to ourselves and external speech to others. I love the word 'friendly' and doing my best to practice friendliness. As we've discovered being kind and friendly will create the causes to have both a pleasing and friendly external environment and internal environment too.

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx

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