Worried Sick - How to Stop the Worry Train.

Ever forget what you have learned and board the worry train? I did this yesterday. I felt like Mr Magoo as I  worried about the blog on worry.  "Oh, Magoo you have done it again".  I realised, I was again, worried about trying to include everything I found useful, get it perfect and get it finished.  

STOP - What can I do? Take a break, find someone to help ( a hungry studier will do) and make a plan to rewrite the blog in a simple practical way tomorrow.  The first version, is here if you would like to read it.  And here, below is the simpler and less worried version.

Things I have found useful to remember about worry

1.  Worry is useless 

• Elkhart Tolle tells us "worry pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose".
• Worry is a destructive habit that wastes our energy and gives a message to our subconscious that we expect things to go wrong.  
• When we worry we can't stop thinking about others or ourselves in unhelpful ways.  This worry disturbs our present and future peace of mind.  

2. There is never a good time to worry 

• If you can do something about it, then do that and don't worry 
• If you can't do something about it, don't worry.

3.  We can stop worry about the future by  being Aware to.......  

• Not to Believe that first thought of worry, that thought is untrue, unhelpful and likely to take you on that 'Worry Train' to an unhappy place. Something I try to remember to say to myself is 'Stop - Please don't believe that thought' (For me the thoughts include, this is a disaster, I am going to stuff it up, get it wrong, they/I are going to get into more trouble, etc.)
• Breathe - Coming to the present with 3 conscious breaths 
• Connect to yourself and others.  I find it useful to replace or rewrite that thought of worry with - I am doing my best .  I also find it useful to find someone else to help ​

4.  We can stop worry about the past by being Aware to..........

• Not to believe that first thought of worry about the past.  Again Stop, and don't believe that thought that takes us  aboard the Worry Train.  Something I try to remember to say to myself is - Is this memory useful to me now?  (For me the thoughts include, I always make mistakes, they always hurt me, let me down, etc.)
• Connect to yourself and others.  I find it useful to replace or rewrite that thought of worry with 'I/they are doing their best'.  What can I do to help someone else to make amends and let it go.  

5.  We can't worry about ourselves & be concerned for others at the same time.

• So choose to do what you can do to help others and not worry about yourself.  (This does not include worrying about them!).  Choosing to  benefit others, is the happier, less worrying option.   

6.  Worrying about others, never helps  

• It never helps others, when we worry about them. It is best to do our best to be encouraging and supportive with a cup of tea, hug, smile, running an errant or sending happy vibes. This is much more constructive than worry.  We don't want to give others more to worry about - us being worried about them.

 
7.  Do your best

• We are all doing our best with the resources we have available at the time.
• Maybe we didn't know it would be best not to board the stress train or maybe we are having difficulty with the subject, getting organised or our motivation.  We are still doing our best.
• Rather than bash ourselves up, we can use these so called 'mistakes', or shortcomings, as a learning experience for doing a 'better best' next time. Maybe next time, we can do a better best to be more organised, ask for help and help others. 
• In the words of Malcolm X "Don't be in such a hurry to condemn a person because he doesn't do what you do, or think as you think. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today."  It is never helpful to condemn others or ourselves either.   

8.  Happiness comes from, seeing ourselves trying to help others.  

• Unhappiness comes from, worry and stress about ourselves, 

9.  FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real 

• So I don't need to believe it has to be perfect, inclusive of everything and done - I can do my best and let go of the fear.  

10.  Everything happens for a reason 

• I heard a football commentator on the footy show share this wise advice last week.
• Worrying about the worry blog, gave me the opportunity to share and put into practice some wise advice to help myself and others.   

Using ABCD to stop worrying about the Worried Sick Blog ? 

Stress A, B, C & D
A.  AWARE - Pounding heart, breath rate increase - here is my friend stress here to help 

B.  BREATHE - Take 3 deep breaths and come to the present. 
B.  BELIEVE NOT - Stop & Please Don't believe those untrue, negative thoughts.
(In my case - I need to get this blog perfect, inclusive of everything and done right now

C.  CONNECT with yourself and others kindly, from that wise spot

• Be a kind encouraging friend. Replace those negative worry thoughts with - I am doing my best. Oxytocin is there to give a nudge to connect to yourself and others - to reach out to others for help and to help them. 

D.  DO - Do my best, to do what presents from that wise, connected spot

• Instead of stressing about finishing the blog and getting it perfect I needed to take a break and help someone else.    
• A studying voice from the other end of the house "What's for dinner mum?"  Yay, a chance to stop worrying about myself and help someone else.  
• And make a plan to rewrite the blog in the morning​

Instead of worrying you might want to.............

• Do ABCD
• A & B - Aware and Breathe - do the 3 breaths over again and again if necessary
• Don't believe those worry thoughts - they are untrue
• Replace those negative thoughts with encouraging ones like - I am doing my best, we all make mistakes; they help us learn, I will do my best for those that support me, or I will give it my best shot.
• Put your hand on your heart 
• Give yourself or others a smile
• Take a break to replenish
• Think about what you are grateful for - all those people that have helped and supported you to do your best and give thanks
• Think about how you can help others - a kind thought will do. 
• Learn to meditate​
• You or someone you know might be interested in learning to meditate - Please see information 

Next time you are tempted to board the worry train to Station Devastation - Aware to Stop, Breathe, don't Believe those thoughts, Connect with kindness to help, or to ask for help and to be grateful to others.
 
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Have a peaceful fun and happy week
Kind regards
Maree xx ​

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