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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Are You Feeling Supported? Are You Supporting You?

4/10/2019

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Ever  feel like you are not supported by others? Many times I have fallen into the victim role feeling resentful of others for their perceived lack of support. it is easy to get into that negative spiral of feeling unappreciated and unloved especially when we have roles to play in supporting others.  

It was interesting in Sri Lanka, to have first hand experience in understanding some of the challenges faced by the Haragama Shelter staff and to have the opportunity to offer some ideas for support, working together and connection. I use  the word 'offer' because I want to remind myself of that unhelpful tendency I can have to try to fix a situation or to force my opinions on others, rather than to work together with them with respect and kindness. Aboriginal activist Lilla Watson's quote came to mind - If you have come here to help me you are wasting our time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine then let us work together. Thank you Cindy for sharing this with me many years ago.

At one time or another we may feel unsupported by work colleges, friends, or family? Rather than getting into that victim mode and resenting others for their lack of support we can ask ourselves a simple question. Are we supporting ourselves? Are we taking care of ourselves, so we can care for others? Are we practicing balanced self care?

We experience the world around us as a reflection of our world within. This is clear to me when I wake up grumpy and negative, my whole world looks crappy. So if my thoughts and energy are not supportive (like when I am critical and negative and give myself a verbal bash up) then my life will not be supportive of me. And I will see that negativity everywhere. So I need to take responsibility for supporting myself!

So how can we support ourselves in any situation? We can take action by........

1.  Saying something kind to ourselves. As I have said many times practice being that kind, supportive and encouraging  friend to yourself and don't listen to that critical task master, who is speaking untruths!

2.  Think an empowering thought. I am enough! I can do my best to get this done! I am strong! Its like this now. What is my wisest response!

3. Some balanced self care. This will be different for all os us and well worth exploring.  It is about a little indulgence balanced with boundaries and kind discipline, so we feel safe and secure. Not a good idea, to eat the whole box of chocolates! Some suggestions include ....
  • Some time in nature
  • Yoga
  • A 5 minute shavasana to relax and replenish - order your POM  Eye Pillow here 
  • Some thing physical - dancing, zumba, running, walking, the gym, playing a sport
  • Reading a book
  • Going to the footy
  • Taking a break from a stressful situation or person
  • A massage, swim, music  
  • Whatever replenishes you .....
When we are able to look after ourselves we will find we have the strength and power to benefit others and be that positive force in the world! When we take time to fill our cup, instead of scraping the bottom of an empty cup, we will have lots to share. 

4.  Asking someone for help 
I often think others should be able to read my mind and know that I need some help. But of course, they can't and besides, often they have their own issues going on and may be unaware of my difficulties, especially, if I appear to have things sorted.

One of the biggest ways that we do not support ourselves is by not asking for support! It often takes courages to ask for help, but it is well worth it, as it has the potential to benefit both us and our helper as well. And it strengthens and deepens our connection.
 
In Sri Lanka I had the opportunity to connect and work together with the women there to explore supporting ourselves and each other and balanced self care. I will share some of the fun things we did next blog.  
  
In appreciation for you all. Have a great fortnight! 
 
Maree xx
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