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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Awesome Acceptance

11/1/2021

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Lately, I have been having unwanted stuff happen. I know this happens to us all often, but I have been particularly aware of wanting to suppress the strong emotions I am feeling. 
 
I have been thinking about the need to accept whatever feelings arise.  As Brene Brown says 'we've got to feel what we are feeling (accept it all) but we've also got to move forward through it.’ I am learning to accept and allow the emotions and thoughts as they arise (and even sometimes welcome them as Rumi suggests in his poem 'The Guesthouse’).  I understand that by accepting whatever arises openly and non-judgmentally and allowing it to pass through lets me to do as Brene Brown suggests, and move forward. 

I woke up feeling angry one morning last week. I couldn't really pinpoint why I was angry, yet suspected worry about someone and not sleeping well were contributors. I let go with an angry outburst. The harsh critic was about to start up for such an inappropriate response. Thankfully instead I took a deep breath and checked in with my wise self for what I needed. I got the kind reassurance that I was facing a very difficult situation and that it was ok to lose it, to accept that angry part of me, I was human after all. Whew, what a relief, no perpetuation of anger. I then texted my friend an apology. So, I think this is what is meant by accepting and feeling the feeling and moving forward. Maybe the angry outburst could have been avoided, but I am learning and human. 

I am learning to accept and love myself as a unique human who is doing her best with whatever emotions and events come along. Remembering to take a breath to check in with my wise self helps a lot. I am also learning to accept my so-called shortcomings, mistakes and those unwanted bits of me. My wise self reminds me to view them not as enemies but rather as friends sent to help me move forward.  Through continuing to do this for myself I can then extend this same acceptance and grace to others. 

While it is good to be accepting and inclusive of others sometimes it is necessary to put some self-compassion boundaries in place to prevent harmful resentment, or an angry outburst.  Such boundaries may include a kind reminder to take responsibility to tidy up, speak kindly or to understand your need for some space, time or inability to meet a request. ​
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