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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Better For Others - Loved and Appreciated

12/6/2018

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​Ever feel unappreciated or unloved? I was reminded the other day how yucky it feels when I feel unappreciated, and how easily I can change that. One of my adult kids announced they were going vegetarian and asked if I could cook some interesting vegetarian meals. Well, I could give it a go, but could I give it a go without resentment or the need to be approved of or appreciated? Well here was the test!

I made an effort that evening to make some very fiddly veggie burgers with homemade sourdough rolls and tomato sauce. I really enjoyed doing it and was pleased with the result. I completed the prep and went to have my '5 Minute Relax Shavasana' (thank goodness!) Shortly after I received a text - "sorry mum, I am not home for dinner'.

What!! I watched my mind go to all sorts of unhelpful places - resentment, blame, martyrdom, criticism! Helpful?? NO!
So what was a more helpful place to go? To remember - 'it is like this now - What is a wise response?
  • To rest in my kind intention and efforts to provide an interesting vegetarian meal (something I can control) and let go of the outcome! Clearly I can't control the outcome - they are not home to eat it!
I also watched my mind feel unappreciated, and sorry for myself. Helpful? NO. So while I cannot control whether others are able to show love and appreciation for me and my efforts in the kitchen, what can I control? I can control resting in my good intention and giving myself the love and appreciation for the kind efforts made. 

So what I decided to do to remind myself of this and how differently I feel when I believe I can give myself love and appreciation, for the efforts I make to be a positive force in the world. It is completely different when I act from the position of feeling loved and appreciated, without trying to control getting it from outside myself! So what did I do to remind myself that I can love and appreciate myself? 
  • I embroidered 'loved and appreciated' on my apron to remind me that I do not need to seek love and approval outside of myself and instead I can give it to myself. I love to wear my apron - it helps to prevent cooking resentment!  It is funny no one in the family has noticed yet, not that they need to - the reminder is for me!
  • I embroidered a hankie with 'Loved and Appreciated' on it, which I gave to a friend as a reminder too. 
If I feel loved and appreciated I can do my best without the need for others to approve of or be appreciative of my efforts. And of course if they do - that is bonus. But I do not need to  hinge my sense of self-esteem on this outside approval or appreciation, I can give it to myself and be less resentful and needy - 'better FOR others!'
  • Out of respect to myself and my vegetarian I kindly reminded them I was not wanting to blame and that I understood why they had not come home and was thankful to them for letting me know. However, I wanted to kindly let them know I had put effort into making an interesting meal. I checked in on my intention to be on the look out for resentment or blame and delivered my reminder in a kind respectful manner. I had truly let go of resentment and blame and was able to love and appreciate us both! What a relief!
Maybe you need to remind someone, including yourself, that you or they are Loved and Appreciated. Hilary would be happy to embroider an apron for you too.
  
Have a great fortnight - I look forward to connecting with you soon 

Kind Regards 
Maree xx

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