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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Better FOR Others - No Worries!

9/17/2018

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Lately I have been talking a lot about stress and worry as I seem to be constantly reminded how useless it is and how it destroys my peace of mind (POM). I can choose 'No worries' if I am awake which is better for my own 'property maintenance' and for others who have to be around me. Recently, I have had more opportunities to choose not to worry and instead do what needs to be done and flow with trust and faith.  

I have found it helpful to remind myself of a few things about worry and a simple yet profound technique to have 'no worries'!

First the reminders regarding worrry
  • Worry is a waste of time and energy and destroys peace of mind and is exhausting.
  • If you can do something about a concern, do that and don't worry. If you can't do anything about a concern, don't worry. Either way worry is useless. 
  • It never feels good when to have someone else worried about me. So with that in mind I have been trying to watch my tendency to worry about others, especially my children, and instead have trust and faith in them and their ability to work it out and trust and have faith in myself not to worry. 
  • Often I find things work out for the best anyway. Like not getting the cafe - so no worry required.
  • My friend Tony often reminds me on our Friday morning coffee catch ups and I quote "Maree, life is too short to worry - stop it".
What to do when worry pops up
  1. Accept it is 'like this now' - not I don't want this or I do want something else - because it is 'like this now'!
  2. What is my best response? And it is never to......
  • worry
  • deny or suppress our feelings - worry, anger, disappointment may be going on. Acknowledge them and let them pass by
  • Blame or criticise others or ourselves for anything, including worrying! 
So be aware of  the mind going to that worry place and respond by giving the ABCD button practice or B. Alan Wallace's Relax, Release and Return practice a go. (These practices are outlined below)
ABCD Button Practice
For some time now I have been doing and talking about this practice. I find it very useful. 

A.  Acknowledge the feeling and thought 

B.  Breathe and say to yourself
-  Please do not Believe that thought 
-  Please breathe back to the present 
C.  Connect with loving Kindness
D.  Do what presents to do kindly


Relax, Release and Return
Recently I was told about this practice of B. Alan Wallace's. I love the simplicity of it and also have enjoyed the opportunity to change things up a bit. When we are restless, agitated or distracted (sounds like worry could be included here) Alan advises to PAUSE and do three things
 
1.  Invite your body to RELAX

2.  RELEASE the thought stream/storyline

3.  RETURN to your breath as an anchor for calm 

I have found this very useful and hopefully you will too. Why not give it a go - you have nothing to lose except the habit of worry. 

Have a great fortnight - I look forward to connecting with you soon 
Kind Regards 
Maree xx


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