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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Better FOR Others - Relax

10/11/2018

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​Relax is my new favourite word and Relax, Release and Return and the 5 Minute Shavasana are my two favourite practices. 

I have found them very useful things to be mindful of and put into action to facilitate, greater quality of attention, presence with others, peace of mind and less worry and exhaustion.

Minfulness is word which has received lots of attention and hype. As I understand it, it simply means to pay attention to what is going on. Mindfulness is not a skill that we need to develop, it is a skill we already have, a skill we are all constantly using. So, we don't need to develop this ability but we do need to learn how to use it well. 

Alan Wallace reminds us "It is the quality of attention (mindfulness) we bring to situation that makes the difference". He goes on to say "when we attend to - that is watch over, care for and really look at - our own thoughts, desires and emotions if we find we are out of sorts, we can note that and not beat ourselves up, not judge ourselves". Instead, we can  improve the quality of our attention. 

So how do I improve the quality of attention I bring to my self talk, connection with others and situations? A quality of attention informed by kindness and respect. How do we improve the quality of attention so that we are less exhausted, have increased well being and a greater sense of connection with each other?

The next few blogs will address ways to try to improve the quality of attention we  bring to any situation so that we can be better FOR others. I am certainly not bringing my 'better FOR others' self to a situation when I am agitated, stressed, or worried, so lets do a recap of that first. 
 
Ways to improve the 'quality of the attention' we bring to life when.......   

1.  Feeling restless, agitated, distracted, stressed, worried

Alan Wallace suggests we just PAUSE and do three things 

1.  Invite your body to RELAX
I have found tuning into my body very interesting. I find I often have stress in muscles that are not needed for what I am doing. A tight jaw and frown are certainly not necessary to help me chop the veggies. So bringing awareness to my body and inviting it to relax is very helpful for my well being and health. Releasing the tension is restorative and saves energy.  

2.  RELEASE the thought stream/storyline
I find it very interesting to bring awareness to the scribble that is often going on in my mind, with a kind, non-judgmental interest. "Oh my funny mind there it goes again, about to worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet and churning over stuff that is already happened"! None of it is helpful or even necessarily true! So, by bringing awareness to the thoughts and RELEASING the thought stream or story line I can liberate myself from worry and agitation and promote peace of mind.

3.  RETURN to your breath as an anchor for calm
The breath is like our anchor in the present moment. It brings us back to the only time that truly exists - the present moment. And when we return there to the breath there is no fear or worry.  Returning to the present is a present we can give ourselves anytime.

2.  Feeling spaced out, dull, or sleepy
Once again I am not bringing my 'better FOR others' self to a situation when I am feeling spaced out, dull or sleepy. So how do I improve the quality of my attention? 

Alan Wallace suggests we just PAUSE and do 3 things

1.  Refresh your attention
Feel the energy in the body - brighten your mind. Maybe get up and stretch

2.  Restore your focus - on the breath, activity, person

3.  Retain your anchor (don't just wander off again, stay)

3.  Feeling really out of sorts, edgy uptight, not ourselves
In actual fact I am feeling that way right now  and certainly not in position to offer my best in continuing this blog.  So I have decided to write about what to do regarding when you are feeling out of sorts next blog. Hint - I am off to have my 5 minute shavasana to restore and be in a position to offer my best (and dinner) when everyone gets home tonight.

Have a great fortnight and make sure you take some time to relax! I look forward to connecting with you soon 

Kind Regards 
Maree xx

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