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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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It's Like this Now. Now What?

5/25/2017

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​Do you wonder what to do, having used those helpful 'bring ourselves back into the present' tools to connect with the present? It's like this now! Now what!

As we have explored practices to bring us back to the present  and reduce the tendency to worry about the past or what may or may not happen in the future, this blog will look at some helpful responses from that present spot.  

Coming back to the present with the breath, it's like this now or any of the other practices we have been exploring give us the space to respond from a helpful spot rather than react from habit. I find it really useful to think about words like reaction and response. Reactions, to me, are often habitual unhelpful actions, protest, anger, judgment or criticism that lead me to create more pain and suffering. Like when I return criticism with criticism. Response on the other hand, gives the connotation of being more measured, considered and spacious.    

For example when we are criticised it is easy to react from habit and criticise back. However if we are able to breathe and create the space we free ourselves from habit and can respond from a wise spot. So what would a wise response look like? It may be to say nothing or to simply say 'please be kind.' (full stop). When we connect to the present, with wisdom we are less likely to fly off with habitual reactions of protest, judgment or criticism and more likely to respond kindly.

I can vividly remember the first time I noticed how liberating and helpful it was not to react habitually to criticism with criticism.  It was many years ago, in the kitchen at home. One of my teenage sons, was voicing his criticism over the lack of availability of certain foods in our pantry. As I recall I think it was vegemite! My reaction to this was to criticise back and create a whole criticism ping pong match, leaving us both grumpy. This exchange had happened many times before and I had habitually criticised back many times. Interestingly the vegemite jingle goes like this:
 

We are happy little Vegemites, as bright as bright can be,
We all enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea,
Our mummy says we're growing stronger every single week,
Because we love our Vegemite, we all adore our Vegemite --
It puts a rose in every cheek!
We're growing stronger every week!


Certainly the lack of vegemite in our house was not making us happy little vegemites and was only putting roses of rage in our cheeks. 

This time however, I remembered how unhelpful this habit was and decided to take 3 mindful breaths instead. This freed me from my habitual criticism back and I was able to feel my criticism button being pushed without reacting. It felt uncomfortable at first, because I was so used to my habitual reaction. However this passed and I felt free to respond from a more helpful spot.

So, what did I say? Actually, I remember I did not feel the need to say anything. And his response was 'sorry mum.' Wow, it worked! And we were both a lot happier. I guess I could have also chosen to say something like 'please be kind' or 'I'm sorry you are so upset'. Coming to the present with the breath freed me of my habitual response. This allowed me to realise I had a choice of how to respond, and could choose to respond with wisdom. 

Maybe you want to have a play with noticing habitual reactions and replacing them with helpful responses. Next week we will explore two more word I find it helpful to distinguish between, expectation and anticipation. 

Have a great week 
Thank you all once again for your continued support, friendship and generosity.
Kind Regards and Best Wishes 
Maree xx ​
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