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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Kind is Cool

5/7/2016

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​Kindness makes a huge difference to how we feel about ourselves, others and our lives. Research tells us the areas of the brain which respond with pleasure to monetary rewards and chocolate are also stimulated when we show kindness to others. It is when we are mindfully kind, grateful and compassionate that we experience true happiness.  We all know how good it feels when we are able to be available to connect and show kindness to others and ourselves too.

We are all doing kind, generous things for each other all day but we often don’t stop to notice them. It is helpful to bring mindful awareness to these times, no matter how small. For example, a smile can totally change someone’s day for the better. It is also helpful to notice the kindness of others. Especially fun and powerful are those times we do anonymous kind things; this takes the self-interest out of our actions. Sometimes appearances can be deceptive. For example, as a parent we can say “No” to our children in a very strong and firm voice, with the kind intention of helping them prevent harm, to themselves or others. Our kind intention is what matters. 

We are all interdependent, so every situation and person allows us the opportunity to practice kindness. Practicing kindness to others helps us form a positive, happy perception of ourselves. We can, therefore, be grateful to others for this opportunity. The secret of our own happiness lies in our efforts to bring happiness to others. 

Kindness to all includes kindness to YOU. It is equally important to be kind to yourself as well as others. It can be as simple as treating yourself as you want others to treat you. That is with respect, understanding, love and compassion. We often unconsciously treat ourselves unkindly with negative self-talk. We judge, criticize, belittle and are unforgiving toward ourselves, often, despite being a kind friend to others. Often we are not aware of how these unkind thought habits run our lives and undermine our confidence and peace of mind. 

Being kind  is an effective way to find meaning in our lives. It is when we focus on the strengths and talents we all have, and how we can best use these to be of benefit to others, that we find true happiness and meaning in our lives. It does not matter what we do. We can serve in a bakery, sell clothes or be a doctor. As long as it is with this attitude of connecting with and benefiting others, whatever we do we can’t go wrong. When we have this ‘what can I do for you?’ or ‘service’ attitude instead of the ‘what about me?’ or ‘sales’ mentality, true happiness is guaranteed. We can’t be worried about ourselves and concerned about helping others at the same time. It is more helpful to choose to focus on others. This is an instant fix for worry and stress. When we get involved with helping someone else the worry and stress about ourselves magically disappears and we feel great. 

Kindness Bottom Line 
  • It is when we are mindfully kind and focus on your strengths and how we can use these to benefit others that we find true happiness and meaning in our lives.
  • Kind acts, no matter how small promote a positive, happy self- perception. Anonymous kind acts are especially powerful and fun 
  • Kindness to all includes kindness to YOU. It is equally important to be kind to yourself as well as others. Unkind thought habits about yourself undermine your confidence and peace of mind 
  • Make a commitment to treat yourself as you would want others to treat you - with kindness, respect, love, understanding and compassion 
  • The secret of your own true happiness lies in benefiting and bringing happiness to others. Get involved with helping someone else and watch your worry and stress about yourself magically disappear. You will feel great
  • When you go to bed recall all the ways you were a kind, positive force in the world during your day and recall the kindness of others too. I find this a great way to peacefully go off to sleep.  You may too.  
 
Thank You for kindly allowing me to share with You.   

Maree xx
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