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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Learning From Sloths!

12/14/2020

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Last blog I mentioned I had been getting reminders regarding wise self-care from sloths! This may sound very strange but stay with me as I share my Sloth story. A couple of weeks ago I was doing some preparation for a class I teach fortnightly.  I came across the timely ‘self-care, intuitive listening to your body’s needs’ material by Meggan Watterson. As you know I have been sharing this helpful practice in recent blogs. 
 
Meggan was referencing Sloth as one of the so called ‘seven deadly sins in Christianity’. She said the ‘seven deadly sins’ can be more helpfully thought of as the ‘Seven Powers of the Ego’. She refers to them as the 'seven ingredients of what goes into being human, which reads like a food label for the ego'. Meggan’s more helpful spin on these 7 are ...........
  1.  Darkness
  2. Craving
  3. Ignorance
  4. Excess (Gluttony in the original list) 
  5. Forgetting we are just this body (Lust in the original list)
  6. Denying the wisdom of the body  (Sloth in the original list). Where we are ignoring the ultimate wisdom of the body?. Hence my 'tuning into the wise intuitive body for what my body needs in any moment', enthusiasm. 
  7.  The compulsion of Rage 
Having an ego is as important as having a soul, and having a healthy ego is crucial. These 'Seven Powers of the Ego' are much like the mental afflictions (anything that disturbs your mind) in Buddhism. (Don't you love a Buddhist list! I do!). The root 5 mental afflictions or Kleishas are……. 
  1. Ignorance
  2. Desire 
  3. Anger 
  4. Pride 
  5. Jealousy
These can be thought of as unhelpful habits of mind that can be overcome. It is significant to be aware of these egoic powers or mental afflictions and when they hold us captive, or are shouting so loud from one shoulder that we cannot hear the wise voice on the other.

Discernment is key, awareness of these habits allows us to practice tuning into the ultimate power of our wise soul, our 'best friend self' to ask my favourite simple question - what does my body and mind need in this moment? 

Also, in Buddhism there are what are called meditation obstacles, or things that can be hindrances to our ability to meditate! These include slothfulness! The others are desire, ill-will, restlessness and remorse and sceptical doubt. 
 
So Sloths abound!  However, I think that maybe they have been somewhat misrepresented and misunderstood. Ironically, I had many reminders of this coming up. I thought the references to Sloths was very interesting and wanted to learn more about them. 
 
Amazingly the next day I was on my way to the Post Office to post ‘covid care’ packages to my kids. A couple of years ago my friend Wendy had given a lovely little wise book by Sarah Ford entitled ‘Be a Llama and Stay a Little Calmer’. It had lots of funny illustrations and wise advice for me. There were other books in the series including, 'Be a Unicorn and live life on the bright side".  I had been enjoying getting these from our local bookshop and sending them to others, including my kids. 
 
I was one book short, so on my way to the Post Office and I rang Jeffery's Booksvto get a copy of the Llama book. Beth informed me they were out of stock and only had one Sarah Ford book entitled ‘Be a Sloth and when in doubt just chill Out’! No kidding I was so amazed, I had no idea that there was a Sloth book in the series. Clearly, I needed to read it. 
 
Then another crazy thing happened. While waiting in the Post Office cue staring at me was an A4 notebook with a picture of a sloth with the title ‘Sloth Lover’s Club'. How funny! Again, clearly, I must have something to learn from Sloths! I purchased the notebook and have been enjoying using it ever since! I have learnt so much from Sarah Ford’s series of books. In particular I think the Sloth book and the ‘Be a Llama and Stay a little Calmer’ book were both written for me. The final Sloth reminder in this saga came in the form of "Sloth Yoga Calendar I was gifted from my friend Lorraine. 
 
So some things I have learnt and am doing my best to practice from Sarah Ford's little "Be a Sloth and when in doubt, just chill out' book and my other sloth sources are to ........

The final Sloth reminder in this saga came in the form of an hilarious and wise 'Sloth Yoga Calendar' I was gifted from my friend Lorraine. 
 
So some things I have learnt and am doing my best to practice from Sarah Ford's little "Be a Sloth and when in doubt, just chill out' boo'k and my other sloth sources are to ........
  
To Slow down, calm down, don't worry and don't hurry
 
1.  Best foot forward....Slow, Sure and Fearless.

2.  Listen to others then make up your own mind

3.  Things will aways seem better in the morning after a sleep

4.  Don't let anything go to waste - Reduce, Recycle, Repair.

5.  Be kind to the environment and equally, be kind to yourself and others too. 

5.  Take life at your own pace - Live life in the slow lane
The Covid Mottos I have been saying to myself include.........
'No Rushing' (thanks for the reminder Neil)
'You have plenty of time' 
'One thing at a time' (thanks Kate P). I am doing my best to remember not to attempt to fit in lots of events into one day. When I forget to do this I find myself rushing around and not able to be fully present for any of them!

6. No more busyness or striving
Instead be plentiful with activity that is  joyful and kind. (thanks for the reminder Monique) And remember to take a well eared REST AND RELAX to maintain your joyful activity! 
In the words of Sarah Ford 'Sloth believes in enjoying the now and embracing whatever the future brings (after a little nap)

7.  Be true to yourself! 
As my favourite quote from Sarah Ford says 'Sloth is always true to himself. He doesn't do exercise (because that is not what his body needs) but he does look after himself - he eats well, sleeps well and is tune with his mind and his body(tunes in an listens to his wise best friend self for what he needs in any moment) in all its hairy entirety.  
Work with kindness and curiosity around helpful self-care habits using ……..

My favourite ABC practice to tune into the body’s or mind's needs in any moment 
  1. Awareness (of the habit)
  2. Breathe 
  3. Connect with the wise self by going down to the heart and asking ‘What does my body/mind need in this moment?
8.  Don't Worry
If you can do something about a situation - do it and don't worry 
And if you can't do anything about it - don't do anything and don't worry! 
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