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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Making a Stand for Connection

11/30/2016

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​Do you ever feel the need to make a stand for something you believe in and speak your truth, even when it is hard and you feel a bit like you are swimming against the tide?  I feel this way about choosing the cheap and easy option over connecting with others.

The online world and technology offers me many cheap and easy ways to do so many things like, buying  any consumer good imaginable,organise travel, accommodation, do banking, buy take away food, check out my groceries, watch movies, organise transport, and communicate with others.  But who, is missing out when I take the cheap and easy option? I am.  And what am I missing out on? Connection with others.  I am also missing out on an opportunity to support my local community.  And it makes me lonely.  As George Monbiot explores in his Guardian article 'The age of loneliness is killing us'. 

Technology is amazing, and has brought us so many wonderful things, but I think I need to aware of some of the downs sides as well.  And a big downside for me is choosing the cheap and easy option i often means I am missing out on connection and community.  As humans, we are social creatures who cannot survive without and prosper without love and connection.  The truth is we are interdependent with others and our environment - we would not be able to live for a second without the kindness of others and nature. 

So with this growing awareness i decided to devote last Tuesday to being mindful of choosing connection over cheap and easy. There was a book, I was interested to buy on 'living more sustainably in the suburbs'.  I had found it on a website and was just about to order it on Amazon when I remembered I was choosing connection and support over cheap and easy.  So, I decided to order it from my local bookshop.  Next, I wanted to plan a trip to Tassie to visit my dad.  Again, online I went and was about to book.  Fortunately again I remembered, and decided to go to our local travel agent.  Next, I had some banking to do and some bills to pay.  Again, I went to my computer.  No, I would go to the bank and post office instead.  

So, off I went to my local shopping centre to order the book, book the airfares to Tassie, and go to the bank, supermarket and post office. It took me longer and probably cost a little more, but I had the wonderful opportunity to connect with and support others.  I love our local bookshop and the people there, I met a lovely young travel agent, Rosie who was just starting out,  shared with the bank teller, went to the check out person and had a fun conversation, went to my local fruit and vegetable shop and had fun with the great family there too. I also had the opportunity to be outdoors and enjoy the beautiful gardens and the others going about their days. In contrast I would have spent the time alone at home on my computer getting the jobs done faster and more economically, but at what cost?  I would have been lonely and missed the wonderful opportunity to connect with and support my local community.  

I realize I am very fortunate to have this opportunity to choose.  Many don't, they do not have the awareness, knowledge, education or resources, including money and time, which make such choices possible.  I do not want to stand in judgement of myself or others, but instead share the wonderful benefits I am grateful to have found when I chose to do my best to connect and support others.  For me, they far outweigh the ease and money saving, lure of the technological alternative.  We need to remember to be compassionate and kind to ourselves and others.  The changes do not need to be big or all at once, but maybe you have some opportunities to be more aware, and give connection and support to others, too. I hope so.  

Here are some ways to connect I find it useful to try to remember.  You might want to give them a try.
  • Use local community resources and shops instead of online ones
  • Phone, FaceTime or write a letter to post instead of text or email
  • Go to the movies instead of sitting alone on netflix, where possible
  • Go for a  walk in nature 
  • Use a check out person instead of a machine or flexiteller 
  • Go to farmers markets 
  • Ring a friend to organise a catch up, rather than just Facebook communication 
  • Ring to organise accommodation where possible 
  • Use travel agents 
  • Go to a local park 
What helps me is, mindfully remembered a more helpful response - The ABCD 

AWARE - to be aware of prioritising connection and support over ease and saving money.  
BREATHE - do 3 mindful breaths. This allowed me the freedom to respond from that wise spot, instead of reacting from the unhelpful habit of criticising back.  Or criticising myself either.  

CONNECT with KINDNESS
What came up, from that wise spot was CONNECT AND SUPPORT OTHERS 

DO - from that wise spot 
And that is what I did - gratefully, went off to the local shops to connect and support.  

Thank you subscribers
As always it is wonderful to connect and share with you.  I better hop of my computer and go and connect with others.  
If anyone you know would benefit from receiving these blogs please ask them to subscribe to pom-melbourne here.  

Have a peaceful fun and happy week
Kind regards
Maree xx ​
If you would like to connect with me please email me here maree@pom-melbourne.com
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